"I already said I'd be more careful next time! But you can't just smash things in front of other people over something this small, can you?"

He rubbed his temple, holding back his anger.

Summer stood up and patted Justin on the shoulder.

"That's enough, Justin. You bought the wrong soup, that's all. It's only natural Bonnie doesn't want it."

Justin drew in a deep breath and looked at me, full of disappointment.

"Bonnie, since when did you get so petty?"

I turned and walked toward the bedroom.

"I'm tired."

"Wait."

Justin called me back.

"Summer's been blaming herself this whole time. Apologize to her so she doesn't take it to heart."

I turned to look at him for a long moment, then lowered my eyes.

"Fine."

"I'm sorry for interrupting your late-night snack."

Justin froze, his mouth opening slightly.

I pushed open the bedroom door.

The instant it shut, I heard him lower his voice, gentle again.

"It's fine, she's just feeling sick and a little short-tempered. She'll be better after some sleep."

I leaned against the door and looked down at the back of my hand, bruised a deep blue across the skin.

The beat of my heart was heavy and dull in my chest.

I couldn't tell whether I was aching for myself, or for the person he used to be.

Three in the morning.

I lay against the headboard, staring at the ceiling.

Last fall my advisor had pulled me aside to tell me there was an exchange-program spot open at Southvale University.

When I came home and told Justin, he'd looked up, smiled, and taken my hand.

"Let's take the grad-school entrance exams together. Then we'll go to the same school."

I thought that "together" was the start of something happy.

So I gave up my guaranteed postgrad placement, turned down the job, and stayed to be with him.

But now the one sitting beside him was Summer.

The one across from him in the library was Summer.

The one who stayed home with him late at night was Summer too.

My fogged, heavy head suddenly felt clear.

When I woke the next day the fever had broken.

The living room was quiet.

I splashed water on my face and pulled out the suitcase.

I folded my clothes one by one and laid them inside.

I looked at the half-empty closet.

Then I called my advisor.

"Mr. Lambert, could you start the paperwork for me? I'll take the Southvale exchange program."

On the other end, he let out a breath of relief.

"Now that's the right call. Official check-in at Southvale is next Wednesday, but the dorms open this Friday. You can head over early if you want."

I hung up and kept packing.

Three in the afternoon.

Justin came in carrying two cups of milk tea and stopped short when he saw the suitcase.

"What are you doing?"

"Season's changing. Just sorting out my clothes."

He crouched down beside me and pushed one of the cups toward me.

"Still angry? Last night was my fault, I wasn't paying attention. I got you a taro milk tea."

I glanced at the label. It said full sugar, iced.

I've never drunk full sugar.

But Summer does.

He still remembered I liked this drink.

It was just that, piece by piece, I was being painted over by Summer, and I hadn't even noticed.

"Leave it. I just took my medicine."

He didn't push. He took a sip and muttered that it was a little too sweet.

There were two tickets on the desk.

A concert.

Last month, he'd promised that once he got his scholarship he'd take me.

He still remembered.

The thought that our anniversary was almost here.

My heart picked up a little.

Justin followed my gaze.

He paused.

"I forgot to tell you."

"Summer bombed her mock exams recently. She's in a really bad place. I'm thinking of taking her to the concert, to help her relax."

He stopped, then added,

"Once I'm done with the exams I'll take you. By then, whoever you want to see, we'll go."

I stood there staring at the tickets.

"You paid for these with your scholarship money?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You promised me you'd take me."

"I did, but you're the one who always said a concert's something you can catch anytime, right?"

Right. Anytime.

Back then, just to keep the pressure off him, I'd buried even the things I liked.

Wave after wave of exhaustion rolled over me.

In his world, everything I gave was simply owed to him.

It was Summer who had to be actively looked after.

He even thought he was being fair.

"Bonnie, what is going on with you lately?"

He shot me a look.

"I bought you a cake, I bought you bubble tea, what else do you want me to do? Just tell me, one sentence, and I'll fix it. Isn't that enough?"

I lifted my head and looked at him.

Every single time he said fine, I'll fix it, and then nothing ever changed.

"Justin."

"Hm?"

"Let's break up."

I shoved the last shirt into the suitcase and zipped it shut.

Justin froze.

"What did you say?"

"I said let's break up."

"Bonnie, over some petty little thing like this?"

His voice climbed.

"Are you serious? I explained all of it to you, didn't I? And I apologized too. What more do you want?"

I looked at his flushed face, worn down to the bone inside.

"Yes. Exactly because of all of this."

"You—you're being completely unreasonable!" Justin's fist clenched tight. He stared at me for a long moment, then slowly let it go.

"Don't try to provoke me with this."

He grabbed his jacket and walked out the door.

"I've got a dinner tonight, I won't be back. You take some time to cool off."

"And then apologize to me."

That night, a light rain started up outside again.

I looked at the flash drive on the desk.

It was the document his advisor needed tomorrow.

He'd left in such a hurry earlier that he'd forgotten it here.

Once their dinner was over tonight, the advisor was setting off.

I closed my hand around the flash drive.

In the end I took an umbrella and went out anyway.

I reached the place where they were having dinner.

The private room door was open a crack, and laughter drifted out.

"Justin, man, I really do envy you. Look at how well your girlfriend takes care of you."

One of the older students was teasing him.

I stopped where I was and looked through the gap in the door.

At the round table, Summer sat on Justin's right, head down, peeling shrimp, dropping each one onto his plate as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Justin paused, then waved it off with a laugh.

"Don't say things like that. She's just my oldest friend. She's hopeless, I have to look out for her."

Summer pinched a shrimp between her fingers and pushed it straight into Justin's mouth.

"Quit talking nonsense."

Another senior student took a sip of his drink.

"Oldest friend, huh? Then the two of you are awfully in sync."

"Come on, oldest friend, have a couple drinks with me."

Justin had a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

"No way. She's a lightweight, one glass and she's down. I'll drink for her."

"Oh, so protective?"

"She's been like this since we were kids. She'd take a tumble and cry for half a day. How could I not keep an eye on her?"

Summer pushed another shrimp at him.

"Even eating this won't keep your mouth shut?"

The room broke into laughter.

I pushed the door open.

The laughter cut off all at once, and every gaze landed on me.

Justin went still for a second.

I walked over to him and set the flash drive on the table.

"You left this behind."

"Thanks, I almost forgot."

He patted the back of my hand, then turned to face the other students.

"This is my girlfriend, Bonnie."

The senior student stalled for a beat, then let out a couple of dry laughs.

"Ah... so good to see you, so good to see you. Sit, sit down."

"That's all right. I have somewhere to be."

Summer stood up.

"Bonnie, take my seat."

Justin glanced at the chair and lowered his voice.

"That spot's for the faculty advisor. Don't go switching things around."

Then he turned and gave me a smile.

"Bonnie, you sit here for now."

Summer sat back down in her place.

"I really do have to go. Enjoy your dinner."

I turned and walked out of the private room.

The hallway was quiet.

I hadn't gone far when I heard quick footsteps behind me, and Justin grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"Bonnie, are you still upset?"

He kept his voice low, irritation in it.

"The advisor set up this dinner tonight, and Summer's on the project team too. Can't you be a little more sensible? Could you save some face for me in front of people like this?"

I looked at him, calm.

"Justin, I wasn't being difficult, was I?"

"Did I lose my temper, or make a scene?"

"I'm not even allowed to leave when I don't want to be there?"

He froze for a second, and his words came out a little stumbling.

"That's not..."

"Not what? Weren't you in there to keep an eye on Summer? So why did you come out?"

"That was just talk, for show. My friend was joking and I went along with it. Stuff said at the table doesn't mean anything."

"Is that so." I smiled. "Then do you remember sophomore year, when I had acute appendicitis? What did you say to me?"

Justin's face went white.

I said it for him.

"You said, Bonnie, you're not a toddler, I'm really busy today."

His mouth opened.

"That time I was studying for finals... I really was."

"Mm. You were very busy." I cut him off softly and brushed his hand off my arm. "Go back inside. Don't keep your childhood friend waiting."

"Bonnie, it's all just talk. Can't you tell the difference?"

Justin's face darkened.

"When did you get so petty."

I looked at his angry face and said nothing.

I just turned and walked out of the restaurant.

For the next few days, Justin didn't contact me.

Not until Friday.

It was our fourth year together.

Justin called after me.

"Seven o'clock tonight. The riverside restaurant."

He sighed, pinched my cheek, all indulgence.

"I know you've been in a bad mood these past few days. Let me take you somewhere nice."

I paused. It was as good a time as any to say goodbye.

"All right."

Six thirty in the evening.

Justin was already sitting at the table by the window.

I had just sat down when a familiar voice came from the doorway.

"Justin!"

Summer came trotting over in a dress, and her steps stuttered when she saw me.

"Bonnie's here too? Justin, didn't you say it was just dinner and we'd go over my second-round exam materials while we were at it?"

Justin stiffened for an instant.

But he recovered quickly and pulled out a chair.

"You're already here. Just eat with us."

Summer looked at the roses on the table.

"Bad timing on my part. Justin, why didn't you say something sooner?"

"Sit down. It's not some big occasion, just a meal."

In the end, she sat.

When the food came, Justin smoothly ordered several of the dishes Summer liked.

Halfway through the meal he took out a box and set it on the table.

I recognized that box. The Bulgari bracelet.

The one Summer liked too.

He opened it, then pushed it across to me.

"Fourth-anniversary gift."

Summer saw it too, and broke into a smile.

"I just mentioned once in passing that this one was pretty, and Justin remembered. The style goes with everything. Bonnie, you'll look great in it."