The neon signs around me started to blur, and my head felt heavy. I figured I should get home while I still had enough sense to find my way.

The second I stepped outside, I saw Sophie and Dylan not far down the street, arm in arm and taking a walk together.

Half my buzz vanished on the spot. My friend, Owen Jacklin, saw them too, but he didn't know what to say.

Then, an idea hit me.

"Call Sophie for me. Tell her I'm drunk and I need her to come pick me up," I said.

Owen hesitated, but he made the call.

If she came for me right away, I'd forgive everything, the affair, the baby, all of it.

One second, two seconds, three, and then the flat tone of a rejected call.

They were already out of sight, but I kept staring in the direction they'd gone. Something hardened inside me in that moment, something I couldn't let go of.

Owen looked at me but said nothing.

"Call again."

He dialed. She hung up again.

I wouldn't accept it. I kept making him call.

Finally, she picked up.

"Hey, Miles, what's going on? I was in the middle of something, and my phone was on silent, so I didn't hear you. Is something urgent?"

Owen waited until she was done, glanced at me, then spoke. "I'm a friend of Miles's. He's pretty drunk. Can you come get him?"

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds.

"I can't get away right now. Could you just take him home for me?"

Then she hung up.

Everything around me went quiet. The only sound was the dead tone of a disconnected line.

After a long moment, I let out a bitter laugh. I told Owen to go home. I wanted to be alone for a while.

It was late, and the streets were mostly empty. I just walked, replaying everything Sophie and I used to have over and over in my head.

She'd been like sunlight breaking into a life that had been nothing but shadows, pulling me out of the mud and giving me something bright to hold on to. She gave me something that felt like hope and happiness.

I believed she loved me. Maybe she always had.

Without realizing it, I wandered into an unfamiliar neighborhood. Then I heard Sophie's voice coming from somewhere nearby.

I ducked into the shadows. Two silhouettes passed right by me.

"You need to take it easy now and stop running around everywhere. Don't worry about the company for a while. I'll handle things."

That was Dylan.

Sophie laughed softly. "Okay, okay, I know. When did you get so naggy…"

Their voices faded down the street.

I watched Sophie and Dylan walk into a house together. Warm light spilled through the doorway, bright enough to illuminate every miserable thing I was feeling. I stood there staring at that glow as it flickered on, then dimmed.

I stayed there until morning.

When Sophie and Dylan finally came out, I couldn't stop myself from following.

I pulled out my phone and called her. She picked up fast this time.

"Miles? You sobered up?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Don't drink so much next time, okay? It's bad for you." Her concern was as gentle as it had always been.

"Where are you right now? Can you come home and just be with me for a while?"

But even as the words left my mouth, I realized I wasn't really expecting anything.

"I'm still at the office. I've got a doctor's appointment after this. Just rest at home, and I'll come back tonight to be with you."

I already knew the answer would be another disappointment. I'd gotten so used to it by now that it barely even registered.

"Okay. I'll be waiting."

I stopped walking and didn't follow any further. I turned around and headed in the opposite direction.

I went home and spent the rest of the day doing nothing, just sitting there and staring at the walls.

At some point, while sitting in the bedroom, something crossed my mind. I went back and forth on it a few times, but eventually I made up my mind and did it.

Afterward, I realized I was hungry. I got up, went to the kitchen, and started frying an egg. The pan sizzled, and the smell of the egg drifted through the apartment.

I ended up zoning out again, just standing there watching the egg cook, until Sophie's voice snapped me out of it.

"That smells amazing. Are you making eggs?"

I looked up, startled to see her standing in the doorway.

"Perfect timing, I'm starving too."

I almost couldn't believe it. I thought I was seeing things until she walked over and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately," she said.

I held her back. "It's okay."

"Can you make me your pasta? I've been craving it."

She smiled at me, eyes soft and warm, exactly the way she looked the first time we met. "Sure."

I watched her walk to the counter, but the ache in my chest wouldn't stop.

How did we end up here?

I ate the pasta slowly this time, so slowly that I couldn't even bring myself to look up at her. I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn't be able to hold back the tears.

Sophie noticed something was off and rushed over. "What's wrong, Miles? Are you crying?"

The worry in her eyes was something I'd carry with me for the rest of my life. She still cared about me. So why did she keep doing things that broke me apart?

I looked at her and asked, very calmly, "Would you end the pregnancy for me?"

Her brow furrowed. "And if I said no?"

"If you end it, I'll forgive everything. I'll let all of it go."

The tenderness from a moment ago vanished, replaced by something cold. "Fine. Then answer me this. Which one will you choose? Me or your dignity?"

I didn't answer. I just looked at her for a long time.

That was how dinner ended, and the conversation with it, bitter and unfinished.

By the time the sun came up the next morning, Sophie was already gone.

I let out a quiet sigh, got up, and started packing. It turned out I didn't own much. Everything I had fit into one small suitcase.

I took one last look around the apartment, at every corner of the room we'd shared, then set the divorce papers I'd prepared on the pillow on Sophie's side of the bed.

It was time for me to leave too.

Before I ever had a chance to choose, Sophie had already made hers. Between that baby and me, she picked the baby.

As for the question she asked me? I had my answer now.

I didn't want her anymore.

She was the one who decided first, not me.

Sophie had been giving me the cold shoulder over our argument, and she hadn't come home or reached out in days. Whenever she got upset, I was always the one who caved, the one who apologized, the one who bent first.

So she was waiting, waiting for me to accept everything and come crawling back. But this time, she'd be waiting for nothing, because I'd already left the city.

It took Sophie a full week to realize I was gone. When she finally called, I was sitting in the yard of a little countryside cottage, soaking up the sun.

"Hello?" I hadn't checked the name on the screen before picking up. The other end was silent at first.

I pulled the phone away to look. It was Sophie.

She didn't say a word, like she was waiting for me to explain myself.

"Oh, Ms. Souza. What can I do for you?"

The formality caught her off guard.

"What's that supposed to mean, Miles?" She was barely keeping her anger in check.

"Are you calling about the divorce papers? It's pretty straightforward. I want a divorce. What, can't you read?"