Chapter 2
Gunner went into the master bedroom. The heavy oak door clicked shut behind him. He didn't turn around. He didn't ask where I was sleeping.
Down the hall, the guest bedroom door clicked shut, too. Leighton was safely tucked inside, wearing my monogrammed slippers.
I walked into the guest bathroom and closed the door.
The vanity lights buzzed softly over the marble sink. I looked at myself in the mirror. My mascara was slightly smudged from the snow. My velvet dress was still damp at the hem. But my face was completely dry.
I didn't cry. Not a single tear came out.
My right hand was still pressed flat against my sternum. I could feel my heart beating underneath my palm. It was slow and steady.
In the glass, I saw my mother's face.
Patricia Ellis had spent forty years shrinking inside a marriage that gave her nothing. I remembered her sitting at the kitchen table while my father talked over her. She would just smile, nod, and fold his shirts. By the time she was sixty, she looked like a ghost in her own house.
*You have to endure, Mariana,* she used to tell me. *A good wife stays.*
I stared into my own dark eyes.
*No,* I thought. *I won't disappear like you.*
I thought of the kitchen trash can. The pale yellow booties, knitted stitch by stitch over two long months, buried under wet coffee grounds and greasy takeout boxes. Gunner had called them junk. He didn't even care enough to ask where they came from.
If I kept this baby, Gunner would become a father. We would share a child for the rest of our lives. He would bring Leighton around our baby. He would pour cold cruelty over our home every single day.
I took a deep breath. The decision settled into my bones like lead. It was cold, hard, and clean.
I reached out and flipped the light switch. The bathroom went completely black.
***
I left the penthouse before the sun came up.
The snow had stopped, but a thin layer of gray slush coated the streets. Manhattan was quiet at six in the morning. I drove slowly through the slick roads down to Lower Manhattan.
The clinic was inside a plain brick building on a quiet corner.
Inside, the waiting room smelled like bleach and cheap hand sanitizer. A small space heater hummed by the door. I walked up to the reception desk.
"Appointment for Mariana Ellis," I said. My voice was completely flat.
The woman behind the glass slid a clipboard and a blue ballpoint pen through the slot.
I sat down on a stiff vinyl chair. The intake form was two pages long. Name. Address. Medical history.
Then came the line: *Emergency Contact / Person Accompanying You Home.*
I stared at the empty space. Gunner’s phone number was burned into my memory. I could write his name in two seconds. Hart Capital CEO. My husband.
Instead, I gripped the pen and drew a single, clean line right through the blank space.
An hour later, a nurse called my name.
The procedure room was freezing. The paper on the exam table crinkled loudly under my back. Fluorescent lights glared down from the ceiling.
"Take slow, deep breaths," the doctor said kindly from behind his mask. "You’ll feel a sharp pressure now."
I stared up at a water stain on the ceiling tile. It looked a little like a bird in flight.
I gripped the metal edges of the table until my knuckles turned white. A dull, tearing cramp ripped through my lower belly. It felt like something deep inside me was being carved away.
I didn't make a sound. I didn't squeeze my eyes shut. I just stared at that water bird until the doctor stepped back.
Afterward, they walked me to a recovery room. There were six armchairs separated by blue curtains. A nurse brought me a small cup of apple juice and two saltine crackers.
She checked my pulse and wrote on her chart. Then she looked around the empty space behind my curtain.
"Do you have someone waiting outside?" she asked softly. "Is there someone you'd like to call? A husband? A ride?"
I looked down at the paper cup in my hands.
"No," I whispered. "There's no one."
She sighed, a flicker of pity crossing her face. She handed me a white discharge folder.
"Take it easy for the next few days," she said gently. She tapped the bottom of the form with her finger. "There was some resistance during the procedure. We noted a risk of uterine scarring. If you develop a fever or if your pain gets sharp, call us right away."
I nodded once and took the folder.
I stood up on shaky legs. My body felt strange. Empty. Like a hollowed-out tree.
I pushed open the heavy glass doors of the clinic and walked out into the street.
The December wind hit my face like ice water. The sky was dull and gray, heavy with the promise of more snow. Strangers hurried past me with their collars pulled up, heading to work, lost in their own lives.
Nobody looked at me. Nobody knew what I had just left behind in that room.
I walked to my car, taking one slow, steady step at a time. The baby was gone. The marriage was dead.
And Gunner Hart had no idea what he had lost.
Chapter 3
I drove back to the penthouse with a heating pad pressed against my coat. My lower belly throbbed with a dull, sickening cramp. The bleeding had already started, just like the nurse said it would.
The penthouse was dead quiet. Gunner was at Hart Capital. Leighton was probably with him, bringing him coffee and taking his calls.
I walked into the foyer. The gold gala envelope was still sitting on the console table where Gunner had dropped it two nights ago.
I looked down at my left hand. The diamond caught the gray December light from the floor-to-ceiling windows. Gunner had bought it four years ago. He had told me it was the largest stone Tiffany had in the vault. He bought it the way he bought real estate—to show off his reach.
I twisted the platinum band off my finger. My knuckle was slightly swollen, so it took a hard tug. The metal felt ice-cold in my palm.
I set the ring down right on top of the gold envelope.
Inside that paper was the sonogram. The plastic test stick with two pink lines. And the yellow Post-it note: *Surprise, Daddy. Can we start over?*
Two objects on a slab of black marble. A ring and an envelope. Together, they said everything I had left to say.
I walked into the master closet. I dragged a single black suitcase down from the top shelf. I didn't touch the fur coats Gunner bought me for charity galas. I didn't touch the diamond tennis bracelets or the designer shoes. I packed four warm sweaters, three pairs of jeans, my boots, and my passport.
I zipped the bag shut. The sound was loud and harsh in the empty room.
I didn't leave a letter. I didn't write a goodbye. I walked out the front door, let the heavy lock click into place, and took the elevator down to the garage.
As my cab pulled out into the slushy street, Gunner’s black Maybach turned into the underground gate. We passed each other by thirty seconds.
I looked straight ahead and didn't turn around.
***
Three days passed.
Gunner didn't even notice I was gone. I had spent so many months fading into the background that my empty closet didn't leave a scratch on his routine. He came home late. He drank his bourbon. He went to sleep. If he thought about me at all, he probably figured I was staying out of his way, like I always did.
It was Leighton who noticed.
She came by the penthouse on Friday evening to drop off weekend briefing folders. She saw the gold envelope sitting by the front door. To her, it was just the ten-thousand-dollar luxury travel voucher Gunner had handed her on the gala stage.
She picked it up and carried it into Gunner’s home office. She wanted to open her prize.
She ran her thumb under the gold foil seal and tore it open.
A glossy strip of thermal paper slipped out. It fluttered through the air and landed flat on the mahogany desk.
The white pregnancy test fell out next, hitting the polished wood with a sharp *clack*. Two bright pink lines stared up at the ceiling.
The little yellow Post-it stuck to Leighton’s manicured thumb.
*Surprise, Daddy. Can we start over?*
Leighton froze. Every drop of blood drained from her face. Her lips parted, but no sound came out.
The office door pushed open.
Gunner walked in, unbuttoning his vest. "Leighton, did the legal team finish the review on—"
He stopped dead in his tracks.
His eyes dropped to the desk. He saw the black-and-white sonogram printout. He saw the positive test. He saw the yellow note stuck to Leighton's shaking hand.
***
Later, Roland Kessler told me what happened next. Roland said he had known Gunner Hart for fifteen years, but he had never seen a man turn into a corpse while still standing on two feet.
Gunner ripped the note from Leighton's hand. He stared at the handwriting. My handwriting.
*Daddy.*
He pulled his phone from his pocket with shaking hands. He dialed my number.
*The number you have reached has been disconnected.*
He dialed my best friend, Celeste. "Where is Mariana?" he demanded, his voice cracking.
"Go straight to hell, Gunner," Celeste said, and hung up.
He dialed my mother. She sent him straight to voicemail.
A wild, ugly panic ripped through him. He left his coat and his briefcase behind. He ran out of the penthouse and drove his car through Manhattan like a madman.
He barged into emergency rooms at Mount Sinai and NYU Langone. He pounded his fists on the glass windows at Lenox Hill, flashing his black Amex card, shouting my name, demanding patient records. Nobody had me.
By nightfall, his lawyers traced my credit card to a small women’s health clinic on a quiet corner downtown.
Gunner burst through the glass doors, soaking wet from the freezing rain, his eyes bloodshot and wild.
"Mariana Ellis," he wheezed at the desk. "Where is my wife?"
The nurse behind the glass looked up, startled. She pulled up the records on her computer screen.
"Mariana Ellis was here on Tuesday morning," the nurse said in a quiet, clinical voice. "Surgical termination."
Gunner went completely rigid. "Who was with her?" he choked out. "Who drove her home?"
"No one," the nurse replied. "She checked in alone. She sat in recovery alone. And she walked out alone."
Right there in the middle of the hallway, Gunner’s knees gave out.
His tall, broad frame slammed against the wall. He slid down the painted drywall until he collapsed onto the dirty linoleum floor.
He clutched the crumpled sonogram printout against his ribs. His hands shook so hard that the paper snapped. It tore right down the center, ripping our unborn baby completely in half.
A security guard walked over and touched his shoulder. "Sir. You can't sit here. You need to leave."
Gunner didn't answer. He pressed the torn paper to his face and let out a broken, ragged sob. He couldn't even stand up.