1.

My husband promised he'd be with me when I gave birth.

But the moment I was about to go into the delivery room, Gilbert Reed turned to me and said,

"Julia Fisher, wait on the bed for a bit. I have to step out. Three hours, that's all."

Then he took off toward the other end of the maternity ward without looking back.

I wanted to call him back, to make him explain, but I heard the nurses murmuring instead.

"Dr. Reed really is devoted. They broke up five years ago and he's still here to see Selma Henson through the delivery himself, won't leave her side for a second."

"But his wife, Ms. Whitney, is close to giving birth too. He's been gone this long. Isn't she going to be furious?"

Gilbert waved a hand.

"She's going to deliver whether I'm there or not. A few soft words later and it'll blow over."

"By then the baby will already be here. What else can she do but forgive me?"

"Selma has no family with her. If I'm not there at a time like this, who's going to take care of her?"

I couldn't get out another word. I quietly withdrew into my room.

Three years of marriage, and none of it could hold a candle to the first love he still carried.

I opened my messages and left a note for my ex-boyfriend.

"Room 709, maternity ward, seventh floor of the county hospital. Come be with me for the delivery."

...

About an hour later, Gilbert came out of the room across the hall, steadying Selma on his arm.

Gilbert was a surgeon at this hospital, and a passing patient recognized him and teased with a grin.

"Dr. Reed, seeing her through the delivery yourself? This must be your wife? Oh, even using the massager on her, Dr. Reed's so thoughtful."

Gilbert didn't correct him. He just smiled and nodded.

I lay on the bed, gripping the sheets as the contractions tore through me, and my heart ached just as much.

My sister pushed through the door carrying the hospital bag, and one glimpse of what Gilbert was doing made her hurl it to the floor.

"Gilbert, is there something wrong with your head?"

"My sister's in this much pain and you run off to help your ex-girlfriend give birth? Is her family all dead, or did her husband drop dead?"

Gilbert kept a hand at Selma's waist and lifted her up a little.

Only after she'd settled comfortably against him did he turn back to my sister.

"I'll admit I've wronged your sister today."

"But Selma's husband got sent away on a last-minute business trip and can't get back, and her parents are overseas. I can't just watch her go into the delivery room alone at a time like this."

My sister was ready to lay into him again, but I stopped her.

I glanced at the name card at the head of Selma's bed. Under next of kin, only Gilbert's name was written.

The business trip was probably a lie. What was real was that he couldn't let go of that old flame.

I rested a hand on my belly and said nothing.

Selma leaned against Gilbert's shoulder and smiled at me.

"Julia, I'm really sorry. You're about to deliver yourself, and here I am troubling Gilbert to come sit with me."

"Your hospital bag looks pretty complete. It's just that pain-relief unit of yours looks like an older model. Not very effective, is it? But Gilbert will be back just in time for you to go in, so at least he won't wear himself out running back and forth."

I didn't answer her. I looked down at the IV taped to the back of my hand.

The truth was, Selma was right. My pain-relief unit was the old machine Gilbert had gotten me, the buttons worn until the labels were gone.

The one Selma was using was the new model he'd had someone bring back from overseas last month.

He'd said it was a spare for the department.

Turned out it was a spare for someone else.

Once Gilbert had Selma settled, he saw I still hadn't said a word.

He came closer and coaxed me.

"My Julia's the most understanding, the most gracious."

"Don't worry, the moment Selma's done I'll come straight over to be with you. All right?"

I stared at him.

"Didn't you say that new pain-relief unit hadn't come in for the department yet?"

Gilbert froze for a second.

"Selma's in terrible pain. And you've still got time on your side. The old one will hold you over just fine, it works the same. I knew you wouldn't mind these things."

So in his eyes, handing off the pain-relief unit meant for me while I gave birth,

and leaving me the discarded old machine, was a small thing.

"Fine. We won't talk about small things."

"Gilbert, you promised me you'd stay with me the whole time when I gave birth."

"So give me a straight answer. When are you coming back to be with me?"

2.

Gilbert thought it over. "Should be quick. Three hours, tops."

I smiled without any warmth in it.

"I've been having contractions half the day. You think I can hold on three more hours until you're back to deliver?"

He mumbled something, unable to answer.

The nurse beside him rushed in to save him.

"Ma'am, you should be glad Dr. Reed's doing this. From what I hear, Selma's his childhood sweetheart, and her husband can't make it back in time, so Dr. Reed's stepping in to be with her through the birth. That shows he's loyal, that he honors old ties. You married a good man!"

"Dr. Reed's always telling us how reasonable and understanding you are. You should show a little of that grace, the way a first wife would."

"Right, having a baby is a big deal, but it's a big deal over there too. Be a little patient, and let Dr. Reed make it up to you properly when he's back."

But being reasonable and understanding, is that just a reason to let people walk all over me?

I said, cutting, "If they're both big deals, then why isn't Selma the one waiting?"

That shut them up. They dropped their eyes to their shoes, awkward.

I turned to Gilbert.

"I'll ask you one last time. Do you really mean to go stay with her?"

He sighed. "Worst case, I'll have the anesthetist give you the epidural first. Julia, we've been married three years. What's three more hours."

I didn't let him finish.

"Forget it. Go stay with Selma."

Gilbert took it as me caving, and left with his mind at ease to go find Selma.

I curled my hand into a fist.

That's right. I'd endured it for three years.

But today, I wasn't going to endure anything.

My bladder was killing me. Late in the pregnancy the weight pressed down on it, so I already couldn't hold much, and since the contractions started at three that morning it had only gotten worse.

I got up to go to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

I'd barely climbed off the bed, hadn't even gotten my shoes on, when a hand yanked me back hard.

The back of my head slammed into the headboard, and a big lump swelled up right away.

A young nurse smirked at me.

"Sorry. Did I pull too hard?"

"But it isn't the best time for Selma to deliver yet. The doctor says this is better for the baby."

"Dr. Reed's the one helping her to the bathroom. He told me to watch you and not let you off the bed, so you won't go over there and give Selma trouble."

As she said it, Gilbert came out of the ward across the hall, carefully supporting Selma toward the bathroom.

My sister rubbed the back of my head, fuming.

"Gilbert, you've got plenty of strength for another woman, but helping my sister to the bathroom is too much trouble? And pinning her to the bed so she can't move, if that isn't bullying, what is?"

"She said she needed the bathroom before we even left. You were the one who said the hospital room had its own bathroom, insisting she rush over here. So this was all so you could see your old flame sooner?"

Before Gilbert could get a word out, Selma jumped in first, all sweetness.

"Julia, don't blame Gilbert. He's just afraid that if he's here waiting on you hand and foot, he'll end up leaving me stranded."

She really knew how to talk.

And me, stranded waiting on him?

Gilbert handed me a plastic bedpan, clearly the cheapest kind from the hospital shop.

"Getting off the bed's hard for you, so just go in this. I'll have a nurse come empty it later."

I didn't touch it.

I stared at him with something that wasn't quite a smile.

"Gilbert, you're a doctor. Don't tell me you don't know a pregnant woman with a belly this size can't use one of these."

He looked visibly awkward.

"I just had so much going on, I forgot. Once Selma's done over there, I'll borrow her portable toilet for you. Her labor's going long, she can't hold it in to deliver. When I'm back I'll buy you a nicer one."

Then Selma called him over again.

"Gilbert, it hurts a little. Can you come sit with me and talk?"

Gilbert hurried over and sat down at her bedside.

He even told her jokes to take her mind off it.

Worried she was uncomfortable, he thoughtfully rubbed her back for her.

All at once I felt like a joke.

During the pregnancy I'd wake up in the night with my legs cramping, in pain, and beg him to rub them for me.

All I ever got was, aren't you sick of this.

Only now did I understand it wasn't that he had no patience. He just wouldn't spend it on me.

Even that so-called private bathroom had been kept for Selma. All I was good enough for was her leftover bedpan.

From beginning to end, the person in his heart had never been me.

My phone buzzed. My ex had sent his location. He was already on the way.

Almost time. This little show was about to end.

3.

Gilbert came back from the room across the hall and tossed a pair of cotton slippers down by my bed.

"Julia, get up and change your shoes."

For a second I thought he'd finally remembered I was the one who was his wife. Before I could say anything, he went on.

"Selma's slippers have thin soles. Trade with her. Wear hers."

I stared at him. "She can't catch a chill, but I can?"

His face darkened. "Why are you making a thing out of something this small? It's just shoes. You're not even leaving the room."

My sister heard that and put her hands on her hips.

"Did a door slam on your head? Her feet are two sizes smaller than my sister's. How's she supposed to walk in them, all cramped? And couldn't Selma have brought her own thick socks?"

"My sister didn't bring extra shoes either. The slippers she's wearing now she had to borrow from the nurses' station. You want her standing on shoes that don't fit for three hours?"

Gilbert pinched the bridge of his nose, irritated, and there was a threat in his voice.

"Julia, I'll add a couple layers of insoles for you later. Don't make me come change them myself. If it comes to that, this becomes a very different situation."

My eyes went to Selma, smiling in the doorway.

The thick wool socks pulled up on her feet were the ones I'd gotten last month, specially, for Gilbert's night shifts, so his feet wouldn't be cold on his rounds.

When it was my turn, all that was left were two thin insoles.

I braced myself against the edge of the bed and pushed upright, sitting straight.

"Gilbert, I'm not changing these shoes, and I don't need you for the delivery either."

He blinked, then let out a cold laugh.

"Julia, are you done? We're husband and wife. If I'm not the one looking after you, who is? Besides, you've got no money, no job, no connections. Apart from me, your free labor, who else can you afford?"

I saw the mockery in his eyes, and all that was left in my chest was the drop of disappointment.

But in the beginning it was him who'd said his woman shouldn't have to go out and slave for money, that people would laugh at him for being useless, that he would provide for me.

"I mean it."

Beside us, Selma suddenly cut in.

"Gilbert, I don't want to force Julia either. I'll just make do in socks, it's fine."

Then she pretended to bend down and take off the shoes.

Gilbert panicked at once. "Selma, don't, I'll come put them on for you!"

Then he pulled a long face and glared at me.

"If you have to throw a fit, at least look at the timing. You're about to give birth and you pick now to make trouble. You don't need me? Fine, then sort yourself out."

"Whatever happens during the delivery, don't call for me. But these shoes, you're changing them, no question."

He hurried over to Selma and crouched in front of her, carefully loosening her laces, his voice going soft.

"No patience at all. Such a willful little baby."

"Having a child is like a woman being reborn. She has to be comfortable. It means everything goes smoothly after, a whole life of good fortune."

I watched it, and it hurt.

Same act, putting on shoes, and for me there was nothing but cold words.

For Selma, he was all tenderness.

And he had no idea he was doing it.

As Selma and I passed each other in the corridor, she suddenly pulled her foot back and cried out loud.

"Julia, just because you're upset about the shoes doesn't mean you get to step on me. That really hurt."

Gilbert rushed to help her sit down, then slapped me across the face.

"Julia, what is wrong with you? I'm the one who asked for the swap. If you've got a problem, take it up with me. Was it really necessary to start something at a moment this important for Selma?"

My sister rushed over to catch me, and my back slammed into the bedside cabinet, the edge digging in sharp even through the hospital gown.