3: 3

After they left, I slipped away to my mother's grave.

When Mom died, I was sent to the group home.

There, the only friend I had was Alice Simmons.

I would never forget how, when no one else would even look at me, she was the only one willing to talk to me.

When the other kids bullied me, she'd secretly save her own dinner roll and give it to me.

Later, she brought her own best friend, Charles Fox, into my life.

Countless times I thanked heaven for giving me the best friend and the best love in the world.

But now, all of it had become a joke.

I didn't understand. Why had the life I built so carefully rotted into this?

That day, I sat before the cold headstone from dusk until dawn.

And I still had no answer.

As the sky began to lighten, Charles found me.

“Linda, so now you've learned to run away from home too. Do you have any idea…… any idea……”

He didn't finish, but I understood his panic.

He held out a woman's coat, carrying a faint scent of gardenia.

It was the scent Alice loved.

I looked at that coat, clearly a size too big, and my nose still stung despite myself.

The truth was, what was between them hadn't been hard to notice.

Over these past years, more and more things a size too large had appeared in our home.

From clothes and shoes to perfume and jewelry.

Even this wedding ring on my ring finger.

I used to think he was just careless.

But when I really thought it through, hidden inside all that carelessness, time after time, was his love for Alice that he could never have.

I said nothing. I only raised my hand, pulled off the ring, and gave it back to Charles along with the coat.

“I don't need it. I won't need any of it anymore.”

Charles's face darkened at once, the last shred of his patience gone.

“Linda! How much longer are you going to make a scene!”

“Is that your goal, to have me and Allie circling around you?!”

I lifted my head and looked at him, my eyes rimmed red.

“I'm not making a scene.”

“I just……”

I wanted to say that I only wanted to let the two of them be together.

But he'd already lost the patience to hear me out, and gave up completely.

“Linda, do whatever you want.”

With that, he turned and walked off, leaving me alone.

The cold wind cut through my thin clothes, and I curled my lips in a bitter smile.

This time, he didn't notice I had no shoes on.

Barefoot, I made my way down the hill, one step at a time.

I didn't reach home until my feet were raw.

But there, in the pitch-black stairwell, I heard familiar voices.

It was Charles and Alice.

“Charlie, we can't!”

“Lindy is my best friend. I can't betray her.”

Alice's voice was thick with tears, full of a reluctant, swallowed-down regret.

Charles's eyes were red with aching, his voice frantic.

“Allie, I want you to stay with me forever. I want a baby that's ours!”

“We can go tell Lindy, beg her to forgive us. She's so kind, she'll surely bless us!”

“Slap”!

The sound of Alice's slap rang out, painfully sharp in the stairwell.

“Charlie, calm down.”

But having hit him, she softened again.

“Charlie, let's just…… let today be our last goodbye!”

“After today, we'll never see each other again, all right?”

Crying, she rose onto her toes and kissed Charles.

Hidden in the shadows, I watched them slip so easily into our wedding suite.

Through the gap in the door they hadn't closed, Alice lifted her flushed face.

“What if Lindy comes back?”

Charles was breathing hard, desire heavy in his voice.

“She won't. I left her at the cemetery. This early there's no bus, she can't get back.”

“When we're done, I'll go pick her up.”

Then the door closed.

And I could just make out the number above Charles's head.

Only 10 left.

And my heart sank with it, down into a bottomless frozen pit, shattered until there was nothing left of it.

I bit down hard on my lower lip, letting the taste of blood spread through my mouth.

In the end, unwilling to accept it, I still dialed Alice's number.

It was picked up fast, the way it always was, only the voice on the other end carried a breathlessness she couldn't hold back.

“Lindy, where are you…… I'm so worried about you……”

And underneath that coquettish panting, there was even the sound of Charles's own sighs of release.

In that instant, I couldn't hold it back any longer and started to gag.

I retched until my whole body went weak, then stumbled away.

That day, I don't know how long I walked. I only know that when I looked up, the sky had gone fully dark.

All at once, I sensed a few sleazy-looking men trailing behind me.

Their eyes clung to me, and my scalp prickled.

I quickened my pace, and they closed in too, their footsteps clear and distinct in the empty alley.

Fear all but swallowed me. My hands shook uncontrollably as I instinctively called Charles.

One ring, two rings……

Pick up! Please pick up!

It finally connected!

Charles's voice was lazy, thick with impatience.

“What do you want now! Linda, you are really exhausting!”

I had no time to mind his words. I was so tense my voice was shaking.

“Someone's following me, I'm at……”

Before I could finish, he cut me off roughly.

“Enough! Linda! Can you stop acting out! One minute you're running away from home, the next you're saying someone's following you!”

“Is there any point making up lies like this? I'm really tired!”

The tears came pouring out, and I begged into the phone in despair.

“Charlie! Don't hang up! I'm telling the truth! Please, come save me……”

“Beep! Beep!”

The busy tone came, the call cut off without mercy.

When I called again, all I got was the cold message that the phone was switched off.

In that moment, despair flooded over me like a rising tide.

I slumped down to the ground.

The footsteps by my ear drew closer and closer, while my consciousness scattered bit by bit.

In the end, I couldn't hear anything at all.

4: 4

When I opened my eyes again, I was in a hospital.

Charles noticed I was awake before anyone else. He rushed to the bedside, his face heavy with a guilt too thick to melt.

“Linda, you're awake!”

His voice was hoarse. He reached out to touch my face, then froze halfway.

“Linda, I'm sorry. I really thought you were just throwing a tantrum.”

“I promise, I'll never leave you on your own again.”

I looked at him weeping and at the number dropping to 5 above his head, and suddenly it all felt so fake.

I didn't say a word. I couldn't even be bothered to lift my eyelids.

Then the door opened.

Alice walked in, carrying a cup of warm water.

In her other palm lay a single white pill.

“Linda, what's done is done.”

“Take this morning-after pill, and everything will……be okay.”

When I still didn't answer, a catch crept into Alice's voice.

“Linda, don't worry. No matter what happens, Charles will marry you.”

“Charles, right?”

Charles lifted his head and looked at her, his eyes crowded with too many tangled things.

A long moment passed before he spoke.

“Linda, let's go get our marriage license today.”

At that, I couldn't hold back a cold laugh.

“Can the two of you stop pretending?”

“If I'm pregnant, doesn't that just clear the way for you two?”

Charles and Alice glanced at each other, both stunned.

The truth was, before all of this, I'd already been ready to let them have each other.

But now, all I had left for them was hate.

Charles went white as paper and instinctively tried to explain.

“Linda, it's not like that. We were only……”

But the words caught in his throat, as if something had lodged there, and not one of them came out.

I couldn't be bothered to listen to their excuses. I yanked the needle out of the back of my hand and braced myself against the bed to get up and leave.

“Thud!”

Alice suddenly dropped to her knees in front of me.

She snatched the glass off the table beside her and smashed it hard against her own forehead.

The glass shattered.

Blood ran down her forehead and stained her eyes red.

She didn't seem to care at all. She reached out and clutched the hem of my clothes.

“Linda, I'm sorry!”

“It's my fault. Hit me, curse me, whatever you want, but none of this is Charles's fault.”

“I'll leave right now. I'll never show my face in front of you two again.”

Charles pulled Alice into his arms, aching for her, the alarm and pain in his eyes impossible to hide any longer.

“Allie, are you okay? Does it hurt?”

“Why would you do something so foolish……”

When he looked at me again, the guilt was gone without a trace. All that was left was gritted teeth.

“Linda Sullivan, you really are an ungrateful animal, no matter how well anyone treats you!”

“Allie must have been blind back then to ever help someone like you!”

I slid down onto the floor, watching the number above his head hit zero completely, and laughed until the tears poured down.

Someone like me?

What kind of person am I?

I deserved to be betrayed by the two of them together, is that it?

In that moment, all the love and all the friendship went up in smoke.

I looked up at the person in front of me without a shred of hesitation left.

“Charles, let's break up.”

Charles started to say something, but the attending doctor cut in as she walked through the door.

“Linda, get ready. Surgery in half an hour.”

“If you have anything to say, say it now. You might……not come off the operating table.”

Charles's pupils shrank.

“What do you mean?”