Not a penny more, not a penny less. Exactly twenty-three hundred dollars.

Enough for half a bottle of my medication.

The fitting room door did nothing to block sound. I heard Rebecca's laughter, soft and breathy, laced with suggestive little moans.

"Sean... you're going to wrinkle the dress..."

Then came his low laugh.

"Let everyone know how much I love you. What's wrong with that?"

Intimate. Sticky-sweet. Each word sliced into me like a blade, carving deeper with every syllable.

I clutched the bills in my fist, listening to Rebecca's coy whimpers, listening to Sean's husky voice.

He said, "Don't bite down so hard."

He said, "Relax."

My face went numb. The pain in my chest swelled until it felt like my heart was bleeding from the inside out.

But I'd left the house without my pills. So I repeated it to myself, over and over: Didn't I abort that baby so I could survive?

And if I'm going to survive, I have to earn money. That's just how it is.

Money doesn't care how you earn it. On your knees or on your feet, it spends the same.

I don't know how long it was before Rebecca finally emerged, her face flushed, a vivid red mark blooming on her neck.

"Sean, this salesgirl gave excellent service. Very obedient."

Sean pulled out another wad of cash and tossed it at me.

"Pick it up on your knees. Consider it a tip."

I knelt. One bill at a time, I gathered them from the floor and pressed them together in my palm.

"Thank you, sir. Very generous of you."

I forced a smile. But he reached down and tilted my chin up with his hand, forcing my eyes to meet his.

Then his thumb brushed across my cheek. The touch was ice-cold as it swept past the corner of my eye.

I'd been crying. Tears had already streaked down my entire face.

He said my name. "Elaine. After all these years, this is what you've become."

I looked up at him from my knees. At that face that had once wept for me. At those eyes that had once held nothing but me.

"You earned your money standing tall. I earned mine on my knees. We're both just trying to put food on the table. What makes you better than me?"

Sean stared at me for a long time. Then, suddenly, he smiled.

"I hope you're still this tough later."

He turned, slid his arm around Rebecca's waist, and walked out the door.

I stayed on my knees, bills crumpled in my fist, tears still wet on my face.

The manager walked over and nudged my shin with her foot.

"Alright, alright, they're gone. Clean yourself up. Weren't you taking the afternoon off for the hospital? Get going."

I managed a smile at her, took the money, and limped out on bruised knees, hobbling all the way to the hospital.

In the cardiology office, the senior physician took off his glasses and studied my test results. He let out a long sigh.

"Elaine, when we advised you to terminate the pregnancy, it was because your heart couldn't have carried to full term. If you'd had that baby, it would have killed you."

"But the way things are going now, you might not even last another month. You're only twenty-nine. Are you really going to give up?"

I lifted my head and gave him a smile.

"I just came to pick up my prescription, Dr. Chavez. I'll go home and take it."

"Pills aren't going to cut it. You need surgery!"

"I can't afford it."

Three words. They stopped him cold.

He was quiet for a while. Then he said, "I heard your ex-husband has done very well for himself."

"He's my ex-husband, not my enemy. What's so hard about asking? Nothing's more important than staying alive."

My throat tightened. I held back the tears and looked at Dr. Chavez.

After a long silence, I shook my head.

"I owe him too much."

The heart condition had been discovered in the second year of my marriage. That same year, I found out I was pregnant.

It started with shortness of breath and a tightness in my chest. I went to the hospital behind Sean's back and had myself examined. Dr. Chavez looked at my results and told me:

"Miss, you're pregnant."

The joy had barely touched my heart before his next words crushed it:

"But your heart is in very poor condition. If you insist on carrying to term, we could lose both you and the baby. Our medical team's recommendation is to terminate the pregnancy."

It was snowing lightly that evening, so Sean came home late. He walked through the door with a grin and handed me a roasted sweet potato.

"Worked overtime today. Boss gave me an extra fifty bucks, so I figured I'd get you something nice. Eat it while it's hot."

I cradled it in both hands, the heat turning my palms red, but I couldn't bring myself to set it down.

He crouched in front of me, eyes bright.

"Elaine, once I land a big payday, we'll move somewhere with proper heating. You'll never have to freeze again."

I looked at him. At his reddened nose. At the light in his eyes. My throat closed up.

I laughed through my tears, broke the sweet potato in half, and held one piece out to him.

He took it, bit off a huge chunk, and winced at the heat, grinning at me like a fool.

The next day, I hid the test results.

The day after that, I came home from the hospital and found Sean holding a piece of paper, his face flushed with excitement.

"Elaine, you're pregnant! How could you keep this from me? We're finally going to have a baby!"

"And today's a double celebration. I finally landed an investor. Our whole future just opened up!"

He swept me into his arms and spun me around until I was dizzy, my heart hammering against my ribs.

I didn't know how to tell him. I couldn't keep this baby, because it would kill me.

I knew him. The moment he found out, he would abandon everything and pour every last dollar into saving me.

But how could I let him? He'd clawed his way out of nowhere, fought tooth and nail to build something, all so he could give me a home.

His dream. His future. Everything he had was riding on that plan.

I didn't want to die. But I couldn't watch everything he'd worked for collapse, either. So I ended the pregnancy, and then I drove him away.

I scraped together every penny I could and bought the cheapest medication available, and through news headlines and magazine covers, I pieced together the story of a man who'd made it.

Then came the day we met again at the bridal shop.

I stumbled out of the hospital in a daze, the report crumpled in my fist, barely able to walk a straight line.

I hadn't gotten far when I ran into Rebecca, fresh from a prenatal checkup. Her eyes lit up the moment she saw me. She snatched the report from my hand. "Well, well. Heart disease?"

She let out a cold laugh.

"Elaine Cox. Five years ago you thought he was too poor, so you got rid of the baby and dumped him. Now that he's rich, what, you're hoping he'll pay for your treatment?"

"Let me make one thing clear. Sean is mine now. Don't even think about it."

I drew a slow breath and finally spoke.

"Miss Henson, Sean and I were never headed in the same direction. We were just too young back then."

"I'll figure out the medical bills on my own. Take good care of him. I wish you both a happy marriage."

I stepped around her. I'd barely taken two steps before a shriek split the air behind me.

I turned. Rebecca was on the ground, clutching her stomach, her face twisted in horror.

"You pushed me! My baby! My baby!"

I froze. My mind went blank.

I moved toward her to help her up, but Sean came rushing in and shoved me aside. I hit the ground, and my vision flickered black.

Rebecca collapsed into his arms, sobbing so hard she could barely breathe.

"Sean, she saw that I'm pregnant and she pushed me..."

Sean lifted his head. His gaze found me, cold as steel.

"Elaine Cox. Five years ago you killed my child. Now you want to kill a second one?"

Agony ripped through my chest. I shook my head, desperate to deny it, but his palm had already connected with my face.

The force snapped my head sideways. My cheek burned white-hot, and a high-pitched ringing flooded my ears.

Sean held Rebecca in his arms, his eyes filled with nothing but disgust as he looked at me.

"Elaine, honestly? I don't think someone like you deserves to be alive."

I opened my mouth to speak, but my throat closed up like something was lodged inside it.

"As a wife, you were a gold-digger. Disloyal. Faithless. As a mother, you were heartless enough to kill your own child. As a human being, you're selfish, cold-blooded, fickle, and paranoid."

"The worst thing I ever did in my life was meet you."

His voice was a blade, each word carving into my heart.

"Sean, what happened back then..." I started, trying to explain.

But he had already picked up the medical report from the floor. A smile twisted across his face, uglier than tears.

"What, you're going to tell me it was because of your heart condition? Trying to play the victim so you can squeeze out some money?"

"You want to know what I think? This disease is karma. Karma for abandoning your husband and murdering your child."

"God sees everything."

Karma.

The word left his mouth, and suddenly I laughed. I laughed and laughed until tears streamed down my face.

Countless times coughing up blood. Countless nightmares. Countless cardiac arrests, hovering at death's door. All karma.

Every mouthful of blood. Every tear. Every searing, crushing pain in my chest. All the punishment I deserved.

Drowning in blood and tears, I finally understood. I nodded, smiling.

"Yes. This is my karma."

"Sean, you'll get your wish. I'll go die."