I fall seriously ill and run a high fever all night that never breaks.

A spirit medium says I am possessed and probably will not live past 7th of July.

My grandmother does not take it seriously. She starts making me call an urn of ashes "Noah", my brother, and offers it the food she saves up each day.

But there is a secret I never tell her.

The one who comes to stand by my bed at night is a girl, not my brother.

My name is Noelle Langston. I was named after my brother, Noah.

Noah was seven years older than me. Before I was born, he fell gravely ill.

My grandmother, Elizabeth Cole, said that they had taken him everywhere for treatment—first to the village doctor, then to a major hospital in the city. He was diagnosed with leukemia, and they were told that there was no cure.

My parents, Irene Hudson and John Langston, didn't quite understand what leukemia meant, and could only say, "We'll find the money for his treatment."

The doctor looked them up and down. Then, he shook his head.

"He has acute leukemia, and it's already progressed to the late stages. The malignant white blood cells are proliferating and inhibiting the growth of his other bone marrow cells. Even with treatment…"

Upon hearing this, Mom fainted on the spot. When she woke up, she found herself surrounded by people. Grandma and Dad were standing beside her. Both of them were in tears.

"You're pregnant with another child, Irene."

My mother instinctively touched her belly. Glancing at Grandma, she asked, "What about my son?"

Dad lowered his head and couldn't meet her gaze. Grandma, on the other hand, gave her a firm answer.

Our family only had ten thousand dollars left to our name. They had decided to spend what little money they had left on Noah's treatment while letting Mom carry me to term. If he couldn't survive, then so be it.

Unfortunately, Noah died eight months later, on the day I was born.

My relatives claimed that I had stolen his life. Deep down, Mom believed it too. That was why she always looked at me with resentment.

I knew she hated me. In fact, I was named Noelle to remember my brother.

I was never close to her. So, I didn't dare to ask her what she truly thought of me.

As far as I could remember, she was always working away from home. Every year, she would send Grandma money so the latter could raise me instead.

On the rare occasions that I got to see her, she would only stare fixedly at my body. Her gaze was cold and piercing, and it sent a shiver down my spine.

"You've grown again." I'd hear her say. "If Noah were your age…"

Her gaze eventually fell on my eyes.

Grandma used to say that I looked a lot like Noah—especially my eyes.

When no one else was at home, Mom would pinch me in sensitive spots that wouldn't show, like under my arms and the inside of my thighs.

When I teared up from the pain, she sneered, "Stop crying, you useless thing. If it weren't for you, your brother would still be alive."

I wanted to tell her that it wasn't my fault, but she would only pinch harder. Eventually, I learned to keep quiet instead.

Sometimes, she would caress my hair instead. While brushing her fingers across my eyes, she'd gently murmur, "My boy."

She wasn't talking to me—she was speaking to Noah.

In this home, no one treated me better than Grandma did.

Whenever Mom and I were alone, she always seemed to know that I was in pain. Then, she'd come over and pull me away from Mom.

"Noelle is sick," she would say in a strangely gentle voice. "She needs her medication."

She was right—I was sick.

When I was very young, Mom and Grandma claimed that I was ill, even though I was no different from anyone else. Then, after I developed a stubborn fever a while ago, they made me take my medication even more frequently.

I was given three doses of herbal medicine a day, like clockwork. Whenever I refused, Grandma would berate me and claim that I was destined to live a short life.

I wasn't sick. So why did I have to swallow these nasty medications?

Besides, did she really think that I didn't know any better?

Every night, Grandma would stand by my bed and call out Noah's name. On top of that, she would make me say his name in front of his urn before I went to bed.

According to the elderly people in the village, Grandma was trying to recall a spirit. She wanted Noah to return and take my place.

From that point onward, my body grew weaker by the day.

I wasn't allowed to have a full meal. Half of my meals had to be set aside as an offering for Noah and placed in front of his ashes. It didn't matter if we had any leftovers. The portion had to be taken from my plate.

In return for my offerings, Grandma said that Noah would protect me.

Every night, she would make me kneel before his urn and call out his name. I was only allowed to go to bed after I paid my respects to him.

She claimed that it would make my brother watch over me and allow me to live a long life under his protection. However, I overheard her conversation with a medium.

"Giving him half of her meals is the same as giving him half of her life," the medium said.

By the end of it all, my life would become his.

Little did they know that Noah had never returned to the house. The spirit that appeared in the house had always been a girl.

When I developed another high fever, Grandma asked my parents to return home. Mom looked anxious, but Dad was expressionless.

Mom asked Grandma, "Are you telling me the truth, Mom? Is Noah really back?"

They assumed that I was unconscious and began to openly discuss Noah's return. Sensing their eyes on me, I tried my best to stop myself from trembling.

"While I was lighting a candle for him a few days ago, I saw an obscure shadow eating the food we offered. It was Noah—he came back."

Dad frowned. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he ultimately stayed silent.

"My son… My son is back."

Mom started to cry, but Grandma immediately hushed her. She didn't want Mom to wake me up.

"So what if I wake her up? This brat should've died ages ago!" Mom barked. "Haven't we been raising her all these years just so Noah can return?"

She added, "Have you forgotten about your promise to me, Mom? You said that—"

Before she could finish, Grandma snapped, "I remember everything!"

Grandma slammed her cane against the concrete floor and declared, "I haven't forgotten about my promise. Now shut up and do as I say!"

Grandma rarely lost her temper. Hence, her outburst shocked Mom and caused her to fall silent.

Moments later, Mom finally asked, "Are you sure this will work, Mom?"

"It'll work. I even brought in a medium. It has to work no matter what."

"Will Noah's spirit be back once she wakes up?"

"If he's not back this time around, he'll definitely be here the next time," Grandma stated firmly.

Overjoyed, Mom immediately declared that she was going to get me some supplements.

"This body is far too thin. Did the doctor mention that she was malnourished? I'll need to get some supplements. I can't have Noah falling sick the moment he returns…" she said as she walked out the door.

As her voice faded, I heard Grandma and Dad whispering to each other. They seemed to be talking about a cliff and swapping lives.

I caught fragments of their conversation before I wasn't able to focus anymore.

At that moment, I couldn't move my body at all. By the time I woke up the next day, I might not even be myself anymore. Unfortunately for me, there was nothing I could do about it.

…

When I regained consciousness, the medium was calling my name.

"Noelle? Noelle."

I forced my eyes open, but the medium was nowhere in sight. Instead, I saw a young girl dressed in white. Her expression was grim, and she was staring at me without saying a single word.

She stepped toward me and lowered her head to look at me. Blood dripped from her face onto mine. The liquid was thick and sticky, and it smelled like rusted metal.

I wanted to grimace and ask her to get away from me, but I couldn't move a muscle.

Next to my ear, the voice calling my name grew louder and louder. At some point, it even sounded slightly sharp.

I wanted to lift my hands and cover my ears.

"So loud…"

I managed to mutter. When I opened my eyes again, Grandma was sitting beside me, staring anxiously at my face.

"Did it work?" she asked the medium.

The medium glanced at me again.

Mom's tears were dripping onto the floor.

"Noah! My dear son!" she cried.

"Mom? Grandma? How am I alive? Why are you guys crying?"

Mom looked puzzled. "Who are you?"

"I'm Noah, Noah Langston," I replied slowly, trying to act like my brother when he was younger.

"It worked!" the medium exclaimed.

Grandma reacted before anyone else could. Pulling me into a tight embrace, she said, "Noah—you're finally back."

Mom seemed like she was in disbelief.

"Is Noah actually—"

Before she could finish her sentence, Grandma and the medium immediately reprimanded her in a stern voice.

"Don't be ridiculous! Noah is right here."

And just like that, I became my brother, Noah Langston.

I hadn't expected everything to go so smoothly, and I didn't think they'd believe me without question.

I used what little I knew of Noah based on what Grandma told me and learned how to act like him. I mimicked his preferences and the way he spoke.

Noah hadn't come back. I was pretending to be him, but none of them had seemed to notice.

Although I had a new identity, I still had to drink the herbal medicine every day.

Each time I did, I would drift into a heavy sleep. At first, I'd force myself to stay awake by secretly pinching myself. I wanted to figure out what Grandma was trying to do.

I saw her lean toward my face, with her ear pointed my way. She was so close that I could clearly see the dark mole on her earlobe.

As it turned out, she was checking if I was still breathing. She was afraid that Noah, who had exchanged lives with me, would die.

After a long pause, she let out a long sigh and slowly walked out of the room.

"Everything is going smoothly," she said to the medium, who was standing by the door.

Mom couldn't help but burst into tears again. She wept as she softly called out Noah's name.

This was the first time I had ever seen her cry so much. It seemed as though she had reserved all her tears for my brother.

I wasn't surprised when Grandma reprimanded her and told her not to cry in front of me.

As the sound of footsteps faded away, the medium suddenly spoke again.

"I don't think it will progress this quickly. The girl might be tricking you. We should give her a stronger dosage tomorrow."

Grandma hesitated. "But I…"

"You need to be decisive. It won't work if you hesitate. A life must be traded for the other to live."

"Will this actually work?"

"Don't worry. Once, I saved a boy who drowned on the east side of the village the same way."

I had heard of this method a long time ago.

When I was younger, I heard Grandma speaking to a family who had just lost their son. They claimed there was a medium in the village who could bring back the dead and allow them to inhabit another body. Hence, a family managed to bring their dead son back and placed his spirit in their daughter's body.

On top of that, the medium also had a secret method to turn a girl's body into a boy's. If one consumed a certain medication for an extended period of time, they would be able to bring back the dead.

Back then, they thought I was too young to understand. So, they didn't avoid discussing this in front of me.

After pointing a finger in my direction, I clearly heard the woman of the household say, "It has to be done before they come of age. Otherwise, it won't work anymore."

Because of that, I spent more than a decade being cautious and careful. I always behaved respectfully and obediently. I tried to make Grandma remember my worth so she wouldn't exchange me for Noah.

I used to think that she loved me more than she loved him. But to my dismay, a few months before I turned 16, she suddenly made me start taking medication, one that was meant to exchange my life for Noah's.

I burst into tears and refused to take it, but she grabbed my chin and forced the concoction down my throat.

"How will you get better if you don't take your medicine?"

From that point onward, I spent my days drifting in and out of sleep. I'd take the medicine once I woke up. Then, after taking it, I'd fall back asleep again.

I could hear voices next to my ear, but I couldn't move my body no matter how hard I tried.

"Noelle is always unconscious. This can't be right. She's basically a dead body at this point."

"Everyone else goes through the same thing. Why is your family any different? Just bear with it. It'll be over in a few months."

Mom sounded frightened. In a hesitant voice, she said, "I keep feeling like there's someone else in the house—especially when I get up in the middle of the night to drink water. It always feels like there's something chilly right behind me…"

"Don't be ridiculous!"

Grandma cut her off before she could spiral further. "She should be honored that she can save a son of our family! What trouble could a young girl like her possibly stir up? If she's looking for someone to blame, she should direct all her grievances at me. I'd like to see what she can do!"

"This doesn't make sense…" the medium trailed off, deep in thought.

"Unless," her gaze fell on me as she added, "Noelle is still in this body, and Noah hasn't been swapped over. That means he's still out there."

A cold sweat broke out across my body. I felt as if I had been exposed. I wasn't able to move, but it felt like my body was frozen as well.

"Let's give her another glass of sigil-infused water tonight."

I silently prayed that the medium was a fraud and that her sigil-infused water was a hoax. That was the only way I could stay alive.

I didn't want to die.

When I woke up again, it was still dark outside. This was the earliest I had woken up in a long time.

I stared at the dark ceiling and spaced out.

All of a sudden, I heard footsteps approaching me from a distance away. Oddly enough, the footsteps stopped beside me even though I didn't hear the door open.

I let out a faint sigh and felt a sudden chill.

When I slowly opened my eyes, I saw the young girl from before. She was dressed in white, and her face was blurred.

When her hand reached toward my face, I immediately shut my eyes in fear.

"Noelle. Noelle." I heard her whisper my name.

I curled up under the blanket and stayed completely still. My back was drenched in a cold sweat.