Before, every time we went out to eat, he used to remind me over and over: no shrimp, not even the tiny dried flakes.

Because I was allergic.

Now he was holding a shrimp dumpling up to my mouth, telling me to eat.

"Morton, I'm allergic."

His hand froze.

Something blank flickered across his face.

I took the dumpling from his fingers and set it gently back on the plate.

Stood up, grabbed my bag, walked out.

At the office, my assistant handed me the funding-suspension approval form.

She added something while she was at it.

Ever since Kathleen showed up, the budget had been getting siphoned off.

At the rate it was burning, there'd be nothing left for next season's tournament. No point even competing.

I picked up the pen and signed my name in the box marked Halt Disbursement.

Over the next few days, Morton came home early for once.

He'd bring me a milk tea, sit with me on the couch for a while.

Just like before.

But I knew it wasn't the same anymore.

When Kathleen's call came in, he hesitated, then took it.

"Haven't you been saying I'm always out all night?"

"Come with me today. See for yourself. It's just gaming, nothing else."

I didn't want to go.

But I didn't want any complications in these last few days before the divorce either.

So I let him pull me along, to the team's club.

The players saw me and called out with grins.

"Morton, you finally brought your wife out."

Kathleen peeked out from behind her screen and smiled.

"You came, Sydney. Want to sit beside us and watch us play? Might be a little boring, though."

Morton dragged over a chair and set it next to his.

"Syd, just watch us play. I'll teach you the basics when we get home."

"It's a ranked match right now. I have to focus."

I sat down.

The screen glowed, the action fast.

My fingers twitched on instinct.

When the round ended, Kathleen stretched, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye.

"Morton, Sydney's been watching forever. Want me to give up my seat and show her a few things?"

She stood and patted the chair.

"Come on, Sydney. I'll teach you the absolute basics. Just learn to move around first."

"No need."

"Don't be shy. Everybody starts from zero."

Morton frowned and looked at me.

"Kathleen's being nice enough to teach you. Just learn a little. Then you can play with me down the line."

"Aren't you always bothered that I squad up online with her? If you learn it yourself, problem solved, right?"

Kathleen had already bent down, one hand on my shoulder, the other closing over mine to guide my fingers to the keys.

"Here, this is the skill button."

"No need."

"Sydney, it's really easy."

"I said no need. Your level isn't good enough to teach me."

Kathleen's hand went stiff on my shoulder.

Morton's face darkened.

"Sydney, you don't even know how to play. What are you talking about?"

"If Kathleen's not good enough, then you do it."

The year I was eighteen.

ZGL finals, my team and I turned the whole thing around in the last round.

The applause was deafening, so loud that standing up on that stage, my ears rang with it.

My parents watched me from the crowd, cheering.

They'd never wanted me to go pro, but that day they flew four hours to get there, sat in the front row, watched from start to finish.

It was the brightest day of my life.

Then their flight home went down.

After that, I inherited the Wendell Group my parents left behind, and never touched a game again.

The ringing was back in my ears.

The roar of applause, tangled with the sound of a plane going down, looped through my head and wouldn't stop.

"Sydney, quit acting tough. If you're so good, play a round and show me."

The voices tangled together, swelling louder.

Morton's hand was still pulling at me.

I wrenched free, raised my arm, and brought my palm across his face.

"I said. No."

The whole room went silent.

Kathleen reacted first, hurrying to Morton's side, lifting a hand to brush his cheek.

"Morton, are you okay? Does it hurt?"

His face had gone ashen, but the moment he saw how pale I was, his voice dropped.

"Forget it. If she won't play, she won't play."

"Why do you look so awful? Are you feeling sick?"

I shook off his hand.

"I'm fine."

He reached for me again, and this time I didn't pull away.

"Let's go."

Back home, he eased me down onto the couch.

"Rest here. I'll get you a glass of water."

His phone buzzed without stopping.

He silenced it without looking.

A rare thing.

"Go ahead and check it."

"It's fine. You're not feeling well. I'm staying with you. I'm not going anywhere."

"Morton, just check it. If something's come up, go. I could use the sleep anyway."

He glanced at me, hesitation in his eyes, but also a flicker of relief.

"I'll be back soon."

I watched him go, and remembered all the times he'd promised the same thing. Not once had he ever come back.

That night I dreamed.

I saw a boy, fierce and burning with the same fire I'd once had.

The boy on the stage blurred into the girl I used to be, the arena roaring with applause.

My parents smiled and told me to do what I loved.

When I woke, the pillow was wet.

My hands were still shaking.

But something had shifted.

The thing that had been lodged in my chest for eight years finally loosened.

I cleaned myself up and went to the hospital for my post-op checkup.

On my way out, I saw Morton at the far end of the hallway, holding Kathleen up.

So careful. So anxious. Terrified of hurting her.

He used to be like that with me, back when my stomach acted up.

He saw me and froze.

"Sydney? What are you doing at the hospital?"

I slid my hand behind my back.

"Routine checkup. It's nothing."

Kathleen came over. "Sydney, this is all my fault. Something happened last night, just a small accident, and Morton was worried, so he came with me."

She paused.

"He didn't even know you were here. Don't blame him. Blame me."

Her hand rested on his forearm, and a glint of triumph crossed the corner of her eye.

"I don't blame anyone. You two are busy."

Hearing me say it without a fight, without a scene, Morton frowned.

"Sydney, what is going on with you?"

I looked at him and tightened my grip on the papers in my hand.

"Nothing. Take good care of her."

As I turned to leave, Kathleen let out a soft sigh behind me.

"Morton, Sydney's such a good person. If it were me, I could never be that gracious."

I didn't look back.

I walked out of the hospital, hailed a cab, and went to the county clerk's office.

I had the divorce certificate in my hand.

Back home.

The gardenia he'd given me sat wilting on the balcony, its leaves browned at the edges. I didn't know when it had died.

Our wedding photo hung on the living room wall, both of us laughing in it. I hadn't smiled at him in a long time.

In the bedroom drawer, his allergy medicine was still there, expired now. And his "baby girl" was gone too.

I called my assistant.

"List the house. Quick sale."

The second I hung up, my phone buzzed.

【Sydney, I can't be there with you tonight after all. Kathleen and the others set up a thing for me.

Since you're not feeling well, just rest at home. I'll come back early and ring in midnight with you.】

That was when it hit me.

Today was Morton's birthday.

In the old days, I'd start planning the surprise a month out.

Booking the restaurant, picking the gift, writing the card. I even counted the candles on the cake to make sure they were exact.

Now I'd forgotten.

So even the dates carved into your bones could fade, given enough time.

I didn't reply. I just packed everything of his into one box.

On top, I laid two things. A divorce certificate, and an abortion record.

Call it the last birthday gift I'd ever give him.

“Morton! Your wife shipped something over from across town. Birthday gift, right?”

Morton heard his teammate and crossed the room, wineglass in hand.

A second ago, my silence had been sitting in his chest like a stone.

But the moment he saw the box, the breath went out of him in relief.

“Open it, open it! Let's see what she sent!”

“She nails it every single year. No way this one's any different!”

……

Morton smiled and reached for the lid.

Then his phone buzzed.

He looked down, and went completely still.