Ex-husband's Regrets Worth Nothing

TODAY IS THE DAY.

Finally! The day I've been waiting for is here! The person I had been waiting for for the last five years, the love of my life, has finally returned. I could almost hear the crumbling of my stomach, not because I am hungry, it’s because I am excited and I am yearning for his presence. I guess I have jitters—butterflies in my stomach.

At long last, he lived up to his commitments, to his promises to me. He didn't leave me hanging here and waiting for nothing.

He came back for me…

For the nth time, I’ve been glazing to the mirror, fixing my hair and pouting my lips to assure the red lipstick on my lips looked neat. At that moment, I was just thinking that I had to look pretty for him.

But then, I didn't waste any time and raced down the stairs to get to him. I didn't care if I trip—I nearly did. But that didn’t matter to me. I can hardly wait ‘til I can give him a big embrace, feel his lips against mine once again, shower him kisses, and express to him how much I have missed him and how much I adore him.

I can't wait to look into his eyes and see his face. I can't wait to be in his arms and to clasp his arms on my own. I yearned for him to call out my name and tell me how much he loves me while also assuring me that he would not leave me.

Finally, we will be together again.

‘We will be together again.’ That’s the voice inside my head that keeps on repeating.

As I strolled around the halls, I had the most genuine smile on my face, slightly hiding the excitement and the nervousness. ‘Gosh! Why am I acting like this?’ At that moment, I couldn't wait to say hello to him and catch up with him again.

However…

I thought I was prepared, but then I heard his mother speak the words that would break my whole world. The words that shattered me into pieces.

“Son, please accept my love and support at your wedding. You and Melissa make a terrific match! Congratulations on your wedding!” Mrs. Williams commented on the happy couple while gazing at them with awe and affection.

What I have been told just can't be real. He told me that he loves me, and he told me that he was going to marry me.

‘No! This is not true!’ I kept on convincing myself but deep down I started to be frantic. I believed in him. He told me that I am the one. He assured me, and I choose to have faith in it up to this very moment. He made a promise and I believed, until right now—despite the words that I have heard—I, I chose to believe.

I was so exhausted that I slumped against the wall next to it. I could feel the muscles throughout my whole body wasting away. I have lost all sensation in my body. This has the potential to kill me. This might be the death of me.

‘He can't be married. There’s no fucking way!’

I was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of betrayal and grief as I gazed at him as uncontrolled tears streamed down my face. As his eyes connected with mine, it caused my heart to stop beating. I can tell that he was in anguish by the way that he was staring at me. ‘I don’t get it. How can he do this to me after the times we shared together?’ But then, he pulled away his gaze, he made the decision to turn his head away from me while maintaining a blank face and an unwavering coldness, as if he didn't care how I was feeling.

‘He can't be married. There’s no fucking way!’

I still tried to convince myself as I continued repeating those words. But even if I pinch myself or slap my face… nothing changes.

Nothing.

I had to wait for a whole five years. Imagine, a whole fucking five years! I continued to stay true to you and devoted to him, pouring all my love and attention to him. In the expectation that one day we would be together. It's impossible for me to understand this. It is impossible for him to be married... especially not to my closest friend.

To Melissa… my dearest friend.

I then gave her a look that was equal parts betrayal and loathing. In response, she smirked at me in a devilish way as if she was really pleased with what she had accomplished.

‘Why Melissa? What have I done to you that is wrong?’ As the tears continued to pour, I thought, my mascara was smeared all over my face.

Never in a million years did I imagine that today would turn out to be like this. I really ought to be joyful right now. How did I get to the point where I was sobbing and trying to hide from their sight?

“I'm quite angry that you chose not to inform me about it. How was it possible for you to be married without telling us?” Mr. Williams mumbled something in a displeased tone.

“Right. And didn't the two of you, Faith and you, have a thing going on? You have completely taken us by surprise,” Mrs. Williams said while wearing a broad grin on her face. It was clear that they had affection for Melissa. It was clear as broad daylight, she liked Melissa.

I stood in the shadows behind the walls, crying uncontrollably, eavesdropping to their conversation. Even though the sight of him caused my eyes to water and blur again, I still looked at him and realized how I am still in love with him. I was still able to see him quite clearly—and only him.

'Was my love a joke to you?' I heaved a sigh of relief.

Was my love merely a game that you finished playing when it was over? I made a fist with both hands.

"Atlas, how could you do this to me after everything?" I whispered to myself and wiped my eyes with a tissue.

'Why, when all I did was to love you?'

Finally, I walked away.