1: 1

Mom and Dad moved into a new house. The smart lock was set to recognize the faces of both dogs, but somehow it skipped mine, their own biological daughter.

I went downstairs to walk the dog and came back to find I couldn't get in.

I called my mother. She sounded irritated.

"Aren't the dogs right there? Both of them can get in. Just pick one up and hold it to the scanner."

I hauled up the fifty-pound golden retriever with a grunt, and sure enough, the lock clicked open.

I was worth less than a dog.

Once the door was open, the hurt spilled out of me.

"Can't you register my face too?"

Her face darkened. "It only holds five faces. If you take one, what happens when Scarlett Sullivan comes home?"

I'd almost forgotten. I had a precious little sister living overseas.

"She hasn't been home in years..."

I tried for a compromise. "Then just delete one of the dogs."

My father flared up instantly. "Scarlett bought those dogs. If she comes home and they can't get through the door, she'll be heartbroken."

"You ungrateful thing. Not seeing Scarlett is already killing us, and here you are twisting the knife! At least the dogs know how to make people happy."

He snatched the leash out of my hand and slammed the door in anger.

I stood there watching the little screen on the lock, the way it kept mechanically flashing the same two words: Unknown person.

I thought, fine. If the door won't let me in, I won't go in.

1

The motion-sensor light in the stairwell had gone dark long ago, leaving nothing but the black closing in around me.

The family group chat, silent for so long, suddenly came alive.

My sister Scarlett, all the way overseas, sent a message.

"Mom, I'm at the airport already. I'll be home tomorrow."

My mother posted a video of the new bedroom within seconds.

A wide, bright master bedroom, every piece of furniture brand-new and custom-made, top of the line.

An enormous closet packed full with the season's newest dresses.

"Our little princess's room is all ready. Everything's the best of the best. We're just waiting for our baby girl to come home."

My father followed right after.

His was the private little nook for the family's two golden retrievers, right next to Scarlett's bedroom.

Soft cushions, toys, treats, all arranged in neat rows, cozy and lovingly done.

"The dogs' room, right beside your bedroom."

Watching all that warmth on the screen, something sat in my chest like a wet, heavy towel.

Back in the old apartment, I'd slept on a mat on the living room floor every single day.

When we moved into this spacious new place, I thought I'd finally have a room of my own.

Instead they'd given each of the two dogs its own room, and left me a mat on the floor of the storage closet.

Nobody remembered that I was a daughter of this family too.

The next second, my boyfriend Fergus Gilbert's familiar profile picture popped up.

"Welcome home, Scarlett. I'll come to the airport with everyone to pick you up tomorrow."

I opened our chat.

Half an hour earlier, I'd been crouched by the door, aching with it.

"The new place's lock has the dogs' faces registered but not mine. I'm locked out and can't get in."

No reply.

Scrolling further up, the whole chat was a solid column of green. Every message was me, talking to myself.

The last time he'd answered me was half a month ago.

The group chat was still buzzing, and no one spared a thought for me, forgotten out here in the stairwell.

I knocked three times. Not one person answered.

"Tomorrow the whole family's going to the airport to welcome our little princess home."

The light leaking from the window went out.

I curled up alone in front of the door, the stairwell black and dead silent.

The fear and the hurt kept rising up in me, layer over layer.

I opened Fergus's chat and typed with shaking hands.

"Fergus, I'm so cold, and a little scared. Could I stay at your place for the night?"

The same man who'd answered my sister in the group chat within seconds ignored my plea for help all over again.

A dense, pinprick ache spread through my chest.

I buried my head against my knees and pressed down the sting behind my eyes.

I counted the time, minute by minute, second by second, until at last it was dawn.

Through the thick door I could hear my mother clearly, humming a cheerful little tune.

My father murmuring to the dogs.

"Your big sister's coming home today. Aren't you happy?"

They finished getting ready, and when they pulled the door open they finally saw the miserable state of me.

None of the guilt or remorse I'd imagined. Instead they came down on me with a barrage of blame.

"Your sister's about to land and you're crouched at the door not even changed. What kind of look is that?"

My father's face went livid.

"Are you doing this on purpose? Making sure your sister doesn't feel welcome?"

"You cold, heartless thing. Selfish since the day you were born, always keeping everything for yourself, can't even stand your own sister!"

I'd crouched too long. My hands and feet had gone numb and swollen.

I braced myself against the floor and tried for a long time before I could slowly get up.

"You locked me out last night. No lock access, I couldn't get in."

My mother's eyes stalled for a moment, a flicker of guilt crossing them.

She turned her face away and waved a hand, impatient.

"Don't make excuses. Get in there and pack, don't hold us up going to get your sister!"

Not one of them cared how I'd gotten through the night.

I opened the email on my phone.

One message I'd left sitting there for a long time was still lying quietly in the inbox.

An invitation to a three-year posting with the Antarctic research expedition.

Harsh conditions, thousands of miles from home, three full years once you went.

Before, I'd clung to that thin scrap of family affection, and I'd hesitated again and again.

Now, I answered in earnest.

"I'm in. I'll report on time."

From this day on, I would stop waiting for your love to arrive.

2: 2

2

By the time I'd pulled myself together and gone downstairs, Fergus was already parked at the curb, waiting.

Dad sat up front in the passenger seat.

Mom was in the back with the two golden retrievers.

The car was big, and it was packed full.

I stood beside it and said it gently.

"There's no room. Could we leave the dogs at home?"

The words were barely out before Mom's face went cold.

"Have you got any sense at all? Scarlett's been away this long, and those two dogs are the thing she's missed most. How could we leave them behind?"

Dad's brows drew together.

"A grown woman who can't stand the smallest inconvenience. What's wrong with you taking the bus and train there? You just have to ruin the mood for everyone."

I hadn't slept all night, and my head felt heavy, my legs unsteady, everything miserable.

"Can I just not go?"

If no one was waiting for me, why force myself in, one more piece of unwanted decoration?

"What kind of heartless child are you? Your own sister comes home and you don't even want to meet her at the airport. Cold-blooded, ungrateful. We raised you all these years for nothing!"

Fergus sat in the driver's seat, silent the whole time.

He watched the whole family lay into me, watched me stand there humiliated and wretched, and he said nothing, his eyes flat and distant.

"Fine. You take the bus and train."

The car started and pulled away without a backward glance.

The sun was blazing. I rode a shared bike first, then squeezed onto a jammed bus, then transferred to the subway.

The whole way I was jolted around, dizzy and sick.

By the time I reached the airport, out of breath, I called them.

Mom's voice carried an edge of impatience.

"We've already picked Scarlett up. We're on the freeway heading home now."

Before I could get a word out, the call cut off clean.

I stood at the airport entrance, in the crowd and the noise, and looked up at the glaring sun.

And then I laughed.

Laughed until my eyes went red and my throat tightened, and inside there was nothing but wasteland.

They could set aside the best room for my sister, the grandest welcome.

But they couldn't spare even a moment to wait for me.

By the time I finally made it home, I was worn out.

Tired, thirsty, hungry.

I stood at the front door, and once again the lock wouldn't scan me in.

I knocked for a long time.

A neighbor poked their head out, puzzled.

"Your family went out for lunch. How come you didn't go?"

I pushed down the sting behind my eyes and called Mom.

"Private room, third floor, the Grand Prosper Hotel."

I pushed the door open. Fergus was sitting next to Scarlett, peeling shrimp for her.

He has a severe seafood allergy.

In our two years together, he never once touched seafood.

The whole table was covered in red, fiery Sichuan dishes.

They all remembered that Scarlett couldn't eat anything without heat.

But no one remembered that I have serious stomach ulcers and can't touch anything spicy.

They glanced up at me and went right back to their fun.

Mom brought out a beautifully wrapped gift box.

"Scarlett, this is a La Mer set. We bought it just for you."

Dad pulled out a brand-new property deed and slid it across to Scarlett.

"The new house is in your name."

Scarlett took the deed with a bright, happy smile and shot me a smug look.

"So doesn't that mean, when my sister lives at home from now on, she'll have to pay me rent?"

Fergus wiped the shrimp off his hands and produced a gift box.

"The newest necklace from the Dietrich family. Let me put it on you."

Expensive, understated luxury, dazzling.

I sat in the seat by the door and looked down at the old T-shirt on me, washed pale.

I couldn't even remember how many years it had been since I'd gotten a gift.

Back before Scarlett went abroad, every holiday my parents would smile and brush me off.

"You're sisters. One gift between you is enough. No need to waste money."

But those so-called shared gifts were always the style Scarlett liked, in her size.

Later, once Scarlett was overseas, they switched to a new line.

"Scarlett's suffering all alone in another country while you sit comfortably at home. What right do you have to fight her for gifts?"

Year after year, the same thing.

I'd long since grown used to having nothing, used to not being the favored one.

An unfamiliar number came through.

It was the project lead for the Antarctic research expedition.

"Miss Sullivan, I'm confirming with you again. The three-year posting in Antarctica. Are you certain you can accept the position and report for duty?"

"The conditions are harsh, the term is long. Once you confirm, there's no going back."

I didn't hesitate for a second.

"I'm certain."

3: 3

3

I hung up and walked back into the private room, and Scarlett suddenly turned to me.

"Fliss, what present did you get me?"

Every eye in the room settled on me.

I stood there, my throat dry and tight.

Locked out all night, then running around all day.

I hadn't even had a sip of water. Where would I have found the energy to buy a gift?

When I said nothing, Scarlett's eyes filmed over with tears.

"Fliss, is it that you don't want me back home?"

Then came the reproaches from my parents, one after another.

"Felicity Sullivan, how can you be so thoughtless? Your sister finally comes home and you don't have a single kind gesture for her?"

"So selfish. How can you be this petty?"

"We raised you for nothing. Not an ounce of sisterly feeling. Cold-blooded and heartless."

Fergus lifted his eyes to me, distant and indifferent.

"Fliss, what you did really was wrong."

I kept my head down and bit down hard on my lip.

Scalding tears fell, one drop at a time, onto the white rice in front of me.

They had welcomed my sister home with full, happy hearts.

They'd remembered to lay out a table of fine food for her, expensive gifts, a house paid in full, they'd even remembered a special feast for the dogs.

The only thing they'd forgotten was that today was my birthday too.

After the meal, Fergus did something rare and came to talk to me.

"Fliss, there's something I want to say to you."

Something stirred in me.

I thought he was going to explain why he'd ignored my messages last night.

I thought he still remembered that today was my birthday.

But he hesitated a long while before he raised his eyes to me.

"Scarlett just got back, and she can't keep up with the pace here yet. I'm worried she won't find a decent job."

"I want to refer her into our company."

I froze where I stood.

The company Fergus worked at was the leading firm in the area.

The bar to get in was sky-high. Ordinary people fought tooth and nail and still never made it.

Even I, with a degree from a top university, had to wear him down for a long time just to land a referral for an internship spot.

A translator position on the overseas projects. The time zones were flipped, days and nights blurred into one.

I often stayed up proofreading drafts until two or three in the morning.

I didn't dare take time off, didn't dare make a mistake, didn't dare ease up for a second.

I ground through a full six months of it.

Now the internship was almost over, and my coworkers all said that with how hard I worked, being made permanent wouldn't be a problem.

But the company also had an unwritten rule: each employee could only refer one person.

"Fergus, what exactly are you saying?"

He lowered his eyes, but his tone left no room for argument.

"Fliss, resign on your own and give the position to her."

I'd already decided to join the Antarctic expedition.

But resigning on my own and being forced out to make room for someone else were two very different things.

"Fergus, you know how hard I fought to be made permanent, how much I put into it."

"And now, with one word from you, I'm supposed to just hand it all over?"

"And if I don't agree to resign?"

He flushed, embarrassed and angry.

"Felicity Sullivan, Scarlett is your sister, not a stranger."

"If you won't resign, I'll have the company fire you outright. Scarlett studied abroad, her English is better, she's a better fit for the position anyway."

"Think it over carefully. Don't make everyone lose face."

With that he left me standing there and strode off to catch up with Scarlett ahead.

The two of them walked shoulder to shoulder, talking and laughing.

My phone buzzed. A message from the project lead of the Antarctic expedition.

"Miss Sullivan, we depart in three days. We've prepared a welcome package for you here, a full set of daily supplies, cold-weather gear, and a food kit, everything covered. You don't need to bring a thing, just show up."

Those few short lines, I read them over ten times.

It was the only kindness, the only bit of warmth I received on my birthday today.

I lifted my hand and quietly wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes.

It's all right. I'll be gone soon.