Ariana POV

Caroline looked at me with a serious face. Right now, we were in one of the cafeterias which was quite quiet. The woman urged me to talk privately and seriously about my relationship with Sean.

“Ana, marriage is not an experiment, don’t be reckless, you don’t know her let alone love her.” Caroline started, I could tell she was holding back her emotions right now, I could feel the aura of real annoyance she was emitting. I can only stare.

“I don’t have the balls to argue, everything was what my parents wanted and this seems to have been planned since I was little, well, before I was even born,” I said honestly and resignedly, Caroline chuckling in disapproval.

“Where’s your assertiveness?? Where’s the independent Ariana?? Do you guys love each other??” Caroline bombarded me with questions, I shook my head.

“I don’t know, but I didn’t hate him the first time I found out, if he’s my future husband, it’s not like most people would immediately refuse.”

We were silent for a while, then Caroline broke the silence between us. My mind is full.

“If one day you start to love him be honest with your own feelings, don’t hurt yourself.” Caroline took my hand, I nodded.

“And I hope you don’t experience unrequited love again.”

I also remembered Phillip, you could say he was the first person to make me feeling have boyfriend, but my feelings were not reciprocated. Phillip only thinks of me as his younger brother and he likes another girl. Since then, I became traumatized to start new feelings for other men, I was afraid of being rejected. I put my chin on my palm, I’m still confused about my decision to have a relationship with Sean who will soon enter the stage of marriage.

My cell phone rang, Sean’s name was on the screen, I just stared at my cellphone lying on the table without wanting to answer it, I needed time to think about all of this, finally the phone went silent again.

“Why wasn’t it picked up?” asked Caroline, I took a deep breath.

“I need time to think.” That’s all I can say, and it’s true, I need some time to think, I don’t know how much time is left for me before I let everything go according to fate(?) that has been determined for me, I’m not sure.

My phone rang again with the same caller, I decided to turn it into silent mode.

“What if he doesn’t love me?” The question just came out, because right now I was thinking the worst.

“You guys are just getting started, why do you always think of the worst first?”

Shrugging my shoulders. Sometimes it becomes a habit of mine, thinking the worst so I can be prepared if it happens but Caroline always raves about it and defies me to always think that way, she says it dampens my optimism, I’m just getting ready instead of wanting to give up.

“Live this to the best of your ability, if he is toying with you, I will kill him myself.”

I smiled as I looked at Caroline, she is my cousin who is very understanding and is like my own sister.

“He wants me to quit Entertainment,” I tell him, and Caroline looks at me in disbelief, she almost jumps out of her chair. I know this news must have shaken him too.

“What??? And you accept it???”

I nodded, Caroline plodding languidly into the back of her chair.

“Are you okay if I stop?” I asked worriedly, Caroline smiling lightly as she waved one of her hands.

“I’m not a nameless manager, Ana, even without looking for artists those artists come to me,” he concluded arrogantly, I pressed my lower lip to mock his arrogance, but what Caroline said was true. He is one of the experienced artist managers and the most sought after by artists out there.

“I’d better take you home, I also want to meet Aunt Alina,” said Caroline, we left our seats. Just as we were about to pass the cafe door, Sean’s figure blocked our path and I could clearly see that the man was holding back his emotions.

“I want to talk to you, Ariana,” he said with a slight hiss, I’m like a rabbit that will be eaten by an anaconda now.

“I’ll wait at home.” Caroline left without trying to help me. When Caroline’s figure was out of sight, Sean grabbed my wrist and then slightly dragged me to his car. Luckily I didn’t bring my Audi here, I went with Caroline after the launching of my second single.

Today, Sean came to my house to ask for my guest list. After yesterday we measured the ring and ordered the invitation, today he and I had to take it to the printer to complete the printing request. We sat on the couch in the living room looking at the list of names we were going to invite to the wedding.

I handed him my list of names, he frowned.

“Why only a little?” he asked to which I shrugged nonchalantly.

“I don’t really have many friends,” I mumbled, Sean narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

“Are you ashamed of this marriage?”

I was surprised and a little offended by the question. What does she mean by saying ‘I’m ashamed of this marriage?’ Instead, I feel like the luckiest woman to be married to a billionaire.

“No, I don’t really have many friends, they’re all just acquaintances, unlike you.” I glanced at the guest list he made.

“Why most men?” he asked again. Oh, God! What’s wrong with this guy??

“Isn’t that right? Isn’t that great? They can tell I’m yours now,” I commented, looking at him, trying not to upset him. Sean put my guest list on top of his guest list, then unexpectedly he kissed me a little harshly and passionately.

I was getting used to his treatment, I wrapped my arms around his sturdy neck, one of his hands squeezed my breasts, my passion sped up and my groin throbbed. Sean’s kiss moved to my neck and continued down to my chewy mound that was wrapped in a bra, I shamelessly sighed his name, this was so delicious, my stomach was tickled by millions of flying butterflies. Sean unhook my bra which was in front of me without realizing it when my shirt button was fully open. My position is now lying on the sofa and Sean is fondling my chewy mound, I squeeze his hair while enjoying the caress, my groin is throbbing and my body wants more, then I hear the sound of a car entering the garage, my eyes open in surprise.

“Sean, aaahh.” I tried to fight this pleasure, Sean’s kiss went down to my stomach.

“Sean, Mooom.” I stifled a sigh, Sean’s kiss stopped in front of my groin which was still covered in hotpants, I heard the sound of a car door closing, and we hurried to fix our appearance, Sean kissed the top of my breasts before he hooked my bra back on.

“Mine,” he whispered sensually in front of my twin mountains, I held my breath for a moment then exhaled again when Sean re-attached my bra and helped button my shirt, mama came after a few seconds we finished cleaning.

“Wooooww, who’s being intimate, Mama’s jealous...,” Mama mocked, I took a deep breath and then chuckled, I glanced at Sean who was smiling holding back his laughter.

“How was the invitation? Is it done?” asked mom.

“Today will be, Mom.” I answered.

“Yes, Mama, go to the room first, I want to rest for a while,” said Mama, then left in front of us, I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Can I continue with that?”

One hit landed on Sean’s arm, the man groaned in pain.

“Feel it! Who told you to be perverted,” I snapped, squinting my eyes in disgust.

“But you want?!” Sean giggled, I pouted my lips, he’s annoying when he’s in his annoying mode like this. He tucked my hair that was hanging down from my face behind my ear. He grabbed my chin and made me look at him for a moment then kissed me again like a few moments ago. I tried to push his body but it had no effect at all, I was afraid mama would see us. When the kiss returned to my neck I tried to make Sean stop.

“I’ll see you later, Sean!” I said trying to hold back my sigh.

“I want you now, Ariana,” Sean pleads against my neck.

“Not now,” I said, and Sean pulled his face away from my neck and looked at me.

“Why??”

I bit my lip nervously, I’m not ready to do it anyway, he will be my first man if he will do it later after we get married.

“I’m… not ready yet,” I admitted embarrassed, I looked at Sean nervously mixed with embarrassment, I knew for sure he had often had sex with women.

“Have you ever had sex with a man before?”

I don’t know what color my face is now, hearing that vulgar question, I’m definitely embarrassed. Shaking my head while looking down, Sean lifted my chin, he looked at me with a look that I couldn’t understand.

“Is that true??” he asked as if he didn’t believe me. I turned my head and tried to shift my thoughts and attention to our guest list. I’m feeling embarrassed right now, this is the first time a man has asked so openly about my sex life. Sean grabbed one of my hands which was currently holding the paper, he put the paper I was holding on the table, he kissed my fingers which were in his grip.

“I want to be the first for you,” Sean said while looking at me with his sincere gaze, I was stunned. I suddenly hesitated to make a decision.

“Not now, I’m not ready.” That’s all I can say, and it’s a fact. Giving up one’s virginity is not like giving up a packet of candy, but it’s about the dignity and honor of a woman.

On our way to the printing press, Sean was still curious about my sex life and about my relationship. I started to open up to him, it’s better than hiding something from him, but can I make him open up to me like I did?

“Sorry if I’m not what you imagined.” Suddenly I was nervous because I was worried that Sean didn’t like women like me, I was clumsy and not like women in today’s world who have a wide and free relationship. Sean smiled and that made me ask.

“Maybe that’s why you became my family’s ideal son-in-law candidate,” said Sean, there was a little pride in me, but why only the prospective son-in-law? Why not a future wife?

“I once had a serious relationship with a woman but failed, maybe we weren’t meant to be,” he said, I just listened quietly, not wanting to interrupt.

We arrived at our destination, after our business was finished, Sean took me to his office. All eyes seemed to judge me from head to toe as Sean and I entered the elegant skyscraper. As if understanding my nervousness, Sean pulled me closer to him.

“It’s a good thing you don’t have fans in this office, so I can breathe a sigh of relief,” he said as we were alone in the elevator.

“You don’t like my fans, do you?” I asked, Sean put his hands in his pants pockets.

“I have a problem with people being mean to other people,” he excused, I felt he was jealous but I still had my doubts about this assumption.

“I’m just trying to appreciate people who want to support me while I’m in my profession, for me fans are an important part for someone who has a job in Entertainment.”

I don’t mean to defend anyone, it’s just that I want to appreciate the people who have supported me all this time.

“After we get married, you don’t need your fans anymore,” he concluded in a tone that didn’t want to be disputed, the look on his face changed the atmosphere around me into an uncomfortable one, how serious is the impact the fans have on him? My Inner Goddess folded her lips into her mouth.

Sean held my hand as we walked out of the elevator. I love the warm grip of his hand and it protects my little hand. Sean introduced me to his secretary, and I felt disapproving of him having a female secretary.

“Could you change your secretary?” I asked as we entered his cozy study. Sean looked at me questioningly.

“Why? she is a competent person in doing his job.” Sean sat in his work chair while I sat on the sofa. I feel embarrassed, stupid and nervous at the same time, but I also have to put a rule here, after he wanted me to quit my profession and hate my fans, I felt I also had the right to neutralize my jealousy.

Wait a minute, am I jealous??

This is so embarrassing! My Inner Goddess blushed as she fanned her face gracefully.

“I think I have a problem with a female secretary led by a male boss like you,” I said as I folded my arms in front of my chest, I turned my face to look at one of my shoulders.

“Problems?? What problems can arise between the boss and the secretary?”

I feel stupid voicing my opinion, does he really not understand or is he trying to embarrass me by forcing me to admit that I’m really jealous?? My mood suddenly changed drastically, handsome master mood changer, this is very annoying.

“I’ve heard that the boss has an affair with his secretary,” I guessed.

“That’s ridiculous, Ariana.”

“That’s not ridiculous, I don’t want to have that problem in the future, what is the worst thing in a relationship besides betrayal?”

“You’re beautiful when you’re angry and jealous at the same time.”

Look, he teases me when I’m angry. How annoying is this, are men really like this?

“I’m not changing my secretary,” he concluded, and I was disappointed. I woke up feeling angry mixed with disappointment.

“Then don’t forbid me to meet my fans and leave my profession,” I said, then stepped out of the room that was no longer comfortable for me.

When the elevator door was about to close, I saw Sean trying to chase after me but in vain, the elevator had brought me down to the lobby. I don’t like it when I’m the only one who has to follow the rules. My feet took me to the bus stop not far from Sean’s office, my cell phone rang and I knew it was from him.

Why am I jealous?? Is it because he is also jealous of my fans?? But that’s just my assumption, but the signs are like jealous people.

I visited a cafe owned by a close friend, countless visits to this place, when I wanted to be alone and think about something, this place became my main choice. The cafe owner who is a tall man with a pleasant smile greets me, Eden always greets me with that smile when I come here.

“Wouw! Look, who’s coming, our dazzling future millionaire,” Eden exclaimed which made me roll my eyes, I knew he was mocking me.

“Where’s your future husband? Why don’t you bring him here?” Eden acted like she was looking for someone.

“He’s busy,” I lied, I immediately distracted him with my order.

Eden also accompanied me to talk, I always like to spill my thoughts on him.

“Women are very possessive of the man they love.”

I think he’s going too far to jump to conclusions.

“Me? Love him? Ed, we even just met a few days ago at that very sudden matchmaking event.”

Eden looks at me with his patient attitude, this is what I like about him he can be patient for me when I argue with him.

“You’re getting married, Ana, you must know that it’s no joke and you’re trying to take defensive steps because he’s the same way about you, you’re trying to make your relationship work later.”

I sighed and asked in my mind, why didn’t Eden become a psychiatrist and open a consultation service? I envy Carmen—his wife—who has a husband like Eden. The man’s cell phone rang, he begged to say goodbye to answer his cell phone call. Thinking back to Eden’s words, I totally agree, it’s true I tried to make our relationship work without any problems in the beginning, I tried to give a warning just like he did.

Eden returned, and we continued this serious conversation. I’m like consulting a psychiatrist right now, about how to understand a relationship and the behavior it causes.

“I know you feel you are not getting justice here, but try to understand, maybe his judgment is right, he knows better about the people he works with.”

“I’m trying to minimize the reproach for strangers trying to ruin my household, that’s all, I admit his decision for me to quit the world that raises my name is a solid assumption but isn’t it worth my request???!” I don’t know why I’m still trying to defend my actions.

“I think you have to look at it from all angles, you have to talk to him, you have to talk.”

Talk to him??! I’m prestige. A couple entered the cafe and several other diners, it gave me a long pause to think, while Eden was busy preparing food accompanied by a female and male employee. I stared out the glass wall, my first time in a relationship, a huge leap for me to not have to waste so much time dating, but I also felt this was a little rash. Without realizing it, Sean was sitting where Eden sat before, I was surprised when he looked at me with his gaze that always gave deep reactions to my soul.

“Are you still mad at me?” he asked, I nodded, maybe Eden was right, we should talk.

“I’m just trying to keep our relationship going with a little risk going forward,” I said voicing my thoughts.

“Me too,” he whispered, which surprised me. He has the same desire as me, my Inner Goddess is like a teenager who has just been given romantic words by a young man.

“I’ll try to consider your proposal, but you know, changing employees isn’t as easy as changing underwear, if he’s competent it’s going to be very difficult.”

Sean took my hand then held it, there was a seriousness in his eyes, and like a magic that made me want to do anything for this man.

“I want you, Ariana, more than you know, you’re like a new hope to me.”

I was taken aback, and the bubble of hope inside me slowly grew. I stared at his beautiful golden eyes, trying to find something to argue with, but something inside of me seemed to melt away, and a warm feeling slowly filled me.

“Marry me, Ariana.”

And I was like being showered by thousands of rose petals with a heavenly fragrance, a man I never even imagined his presence proposed and asked me to marry him, this is more than just listening to your lottery number being mentioned then getting the grand prize, all the debates that I had prepared just disappeared , and the offer became the solution to this problem.