: Living Expenses

The day I won the Best Newcomer Award, I broke up with my boyfriend.

With red-rimmed eyes, he swallowed his pride and begged me, "Please don't leave me. I swear I'll start getting acting jobs!"

I said nothing, simply turning and getting into a Rolls-Royce.

Later, he shot to fame online, thanks to his superb performance in a web series. He proposed to me in public, vowing to love and pamper me just like he had before.

After we were married, he forced me to watch him film every single scene. I would sit behind the camera, watching him and his rumored love interest embrace and kiss, completely lost in each other.

I knew he wanted me to suffer. What he didn't know was that the web series that launched his career was a role I secured for him by donating a kidney to a powerful tycoon's unforgettable past love.

And now, that same kidney is failing. I don't have long to live.

1

Cole Alastair seemed utterly absorbed in his kiss with her. It didn't look like acting at all.

She was Jenna Ivory, a rising starlet. Just like her name suggested, her skin was as smooth as cream and as radiant as light. She was the second female lead in the show and Cole Alastair's rumored girlfriend.

In the span of a single year, Cole Alastair had already taken on two projects that featured intimate scenes with Jenna Ivory. They had even trended online together several times. Many fans were shipping them hard, saying they were a match made in heaven.

It seemed they had all forgotten—forgotten that Cole Alastair still had a wife, a non-celebrity like me.

Cole Alastair called and told me to visit the set.

As payment, he offered me $75,000. I readily agreed.

I had no choice. I was desperate for money. With my kidneys failing, my other organs were also being affected. I needed that $75,000 to stay alive.

It couldn't cure me, but it could buy me more time.

The moment I arrived on set, the first thing I saw was Cole Alastair and Jenna Ivory filming an intimate scene.

He didn't seem to notice me. I stood off to the side, watching by myself.

The young women nearby began to whisper as they looked me over.

"Who is that woman? How did she just walk onto our set?"

"She has good features, but she's way too thin. And she doesn't seem to put any effort into her appearance."

I heard their chatter but just let the corners of my mouth lift in a slight smile. I didn't acknowledge them or offer any explanation.

The scene finally wrapped.

Beaming, she linked her arm through his and made small talk with the crew.

"Great work, everyone!"

He didn't pull away.

Suddenly, her smile froze the instant she saw me.

This was the first time we had met. From the look on her face, she seemed to recognize me, which I found a little surprising.

But she didn't remove her hand from Cole Alastair's arm.

Cole Alastair noticed me then, too.

With his eyes half-lidded, he gently tugged her hand, pulling her arm tighter against him. The two of them looked even more intimate.

He never once looked me directly in the eye.

Jenna Ivory put on a troubled, pitiful expression and looked at Cole Alastair. "Saozi won't mind, will she?"

'Her name shouldn't be Jenna Ivory. It should be scheming innocent.'

He seemed completely oblivious to how manipulative she sounded.

"She's very magnanimous; she won't mind," he said. "The only thing she minds is whether I've sent her living expenses on time."

His voice was warm, as gentle as a placid spring pool.

There was a time when I, too, was the recipient of that tenderness, but that was long ago, back when we were young.

After he became famous, he started scattering that tenderness in every direction, bestowing it upon various other actresses.

Now, after a year, I was finally meeting his legendary rumored girlfriend.

This rumored girlfriend seemed different from all the others.

Ever since the rumors about her and Cole Alastair started, I hadn't seen his name linked to any other scandals.

And you have to understand, Cole Alastair was a well-known Player King, both inside and outside the entertainment industry.

But his fans didn't mind. They even joked that his image could never be ruined, because he was already a train wreck to begin with.

'For a Player King to finally settle down... he must be serious this time.'

I looked at the two of them without a hint of displeasure on my face. In fact, I even wore a faint smile.

"That's right, I don't mind. I'm just here to pick up my living expenses. Cole, if you ever decide you want a divorce, just let me know. I'm on call, and it won't cost you a thing."

The words had barely left my mouth when my phone buzzed with a text message: a deposit of $75,000.

'Mission accomplished.'

I looked up at Cole Alastair, smiling.

"Thanks! I'll be going now."

With that, I turned and walked away coolly, without a single glance back.

It seemed I hadn't followed the script Jenna Ivory had in mind. She just stood there watching me leave, stunned into a long silence.

2

I'm long past being the kind of girl in her twenties who would cry and throw a fit over love.

"Sophie Shaw, how about I give you another $75,000 to watch me do another kissing scene?"

The voice behind me was so familiar I knew it was Cole Alastair without even turning around.

"Sure," I said, turning around with a radiant smile.

'Only a fool passes up easy money.'

During a break on set, Cole Alastair went back to his dressing room to change outfits.

That left just Jenna Ivory and me staring at each other.

I didn't have the energy to just stand there, so I pulled over a chair and sat down.

I lowered my head, closed my eyes to rest, and stopped looking at her.

'What was there to look at? Every extra glance I gave her would prove I still cared about Cole Alastair, and he didn't deserve that.'

BANG!—

A sudden, loud noise erupted right next to me.

I reflexively opened my tired eyes and turned my head toward the source of the sound.

My eyes fell upon Jenna Ivory, sprawled pitifully on the ground like a trampled flower, her hand covering the right side of her face.

The loud bang didn't just catch my attention; the other staff members on set all turned to stare as well.

A faint smile touched my lips.

'Such a stupid, cliché trick, and they were pulling it on me.'

And just then, as if on cue, Cole Alastair walked out of the dressing room.

The intended audience for this little play had arrived, just in time to see this supposed scene of me bullying her.

He rushed over, bent down, and gently helped Jenna Ivory up from the floor.

Only then did Jenna Ivory move the hand covering her right cheek, revealing a bright red handprint. Tears welled in her eyes. I have to admit, even *I* felt a pang of pity for her, to say nothing of anyone else.

'This woman was truly ruthless, to strike herself that hard.'

"Cole, don't blame Saozi. It was my fault, I lost my footing."

Her voice trembled as if she had been deeply wronged.

As she finished speaking, tears streamed down her face. She played the part of the wronged and pitiful victim to perfection.

Who wouldn't be taken in by that performance? Even I was a little convinced.

'As expected of a famous actress. She's got skills.'

'She just doesn't have much common sense about getting slapped. I'm right-handed, so if I had hit her, the mark would be on her left cheek.'

He tenderly wiped the tears from her face, his fingertips gently lifting her chin to carefully examine the red mark with a pained expression.

Seeing the worry in his eyes, my heart dropped. It felt like something inside me had just shattered.

'He's really fallen for her.'

I turned my head away slightly, averting my gaze. Gripping the armrest, I slowly pushed myself to my feet.

'Looks like I won't be getting that $75,000 after all.'

I was about to walk away, but his cold voice stopped me.

"Sophie Shaw, do you think I'm still the same Cole Alastair who used to revolve entirely around you?"

His tone was so cold and unfamiliar it made my nose sting with the urge to cry. I didn't dare turn my head to look at him.

"Apologize to Jenna Ivory. Now."

His tone was practically an order.

'I was about to lose control of my emotions.'

'So many people here were waiting to see me make a fool of myself. I couldn't cry.'

I pretended not to hear him and strode quickly away.

I had barely rounded a corner just outside the set when I became so exhausted my forehead was beaded with sweat. I had to lean against the wall, gasping for breath.

The Attending Physician called.

"Ms. Shaw, we have your test results. On top of your pre-existing condition, they show your red blood cell count is even lower, and you have an irregular heartbeat. You need to come to the hospital immediately for further tests."

: I Can't Find My Way Home

3

The Attending Physician said I might also have a heart condition, so they did a cardiac catheterization.

The blockage in my arteries was severe. I needed a stent.

But my stomach also needed to be checked, so they did an endoscopy, which nearly killed me.

'This kidney failure is so annoying.'

"Ms. Shaw, it looks like your balance isn't enough to cover the upcoming expenses," a young nurse informed me in a low voice.

I lay on the hospital bed, feeling the chill of the room and smelling the antiseptic in the air.

"Just use whatever money is left as you see fit. That's all I have."

I didn't want to call Cole Alastair again, even though in his eyes, I only married him for his money.

'How did we end up like this?'

I remember it wasn't always like this.

Back then, he was just a Z-list actor, lucky to land a few roles as an extra in a month.

But I had a steady job as an office clerk back then, making about $500 a month.

I confidently puffed out my chest and told him I'd support him.

And I really did spend my entire $500 monthly salary on our expenses.

But my meager salary couldn't handle any unexpected changes in our lives.

I remember one autumn, I got sick for a few days, which made us fall behind on rent. The landlord kicked us out.

In Riverfall, it always drizzles in the autumn, and of course, it was drizzling nonstop that day.

We huddled together under an umbrella in the autumn rain. It shielded our upper bodies, but the water dripping and splashing around our feet soaked the cuffs of our pants.

It didn't feel dramatic back then, nor did it feel humiliatingly destitute. All I felt was hope for the future.

'Come on! My husband is going to be a superstar!'

I told him I had a friend I could borrow money from, someone who would definitely lend it to me. I asked him to wait for me at an internet cafe.

'What friends did I have back then?'

I went to sell my blood.

Soon after, I came back to him with $100, my face pale. I forced a wide grin.

"Cole, we have money now!"

We found a shabby room in a shared apartment for $75 a month. The landlord must have seen how pathetic we looked, because he didn't ask for a security deposit.

The paint on the walls was peeling, and it was covered in random stickers. The autumn wind blowing in felt bitingly cold.

But back then, our love was stronger than gold. Sleeping in each other's arms on a full-sized bed felt like it was all worth it.

Later on, we moved into a huge villa.

A single bedroom was bigger than that entire shared apartment.

The house was always the perfect temperature and lavishly decorated, but I always felt cold.

Colder even than this hospital room.

Memories flashed through my mind one after another.

My phone started ringing.

I didn't want to look at it, and I didn't want to answer.

"Your phone is ringing." The Attending Physician, who hadn't left yet, held the phone out to me.

I felt a little helpless.

I had no choice but to take it.

The caller ID showed an 11-digit number.

It was Cole Alastair's number. I had deleted him from my contacts a long time ago.

But I still had the number memorized.

I didn't want to answer, so I hung up.

He called back immediately.

Exasperated, I lightly swiped the screen and answered the call.

As soon as the call connected, his voice, thick with grievance, came through.

"Soph, I think I'm lost... I can't find my way home. Can you come get me, please?"

His hoarse voice held a sob, like a lost and helpless child.