Chapter 2

He was rowing her across a still mountain lake, playing with her in the snow, tucking a single red maple leaf behind her ear. Spring, summer, autumn, winter. Every season of the year had been gathered up like tribute and laid at the feet of another woman, each one a frame in a love story that was never meant for me to see.

Taking a slow breath that did nothing to steady the trembling in my hands, I opened one of the videos. In it, Lorenzo stood at the edge of the ocean, the wind off the water tugging at his collar, and he called her My Carina in a voice I had not heard him use since before our alliance was sealed before the elders.

She asked him softly, the way a woman asks when she already knows the answer, "Do you love me?"

This was my husband of seven years. The made man bound to the Romano bloodline by blood-pact and oath. The father of the child I was carrying low and heavy beneath my ribs. And he answered her with a warmth that had gone cold in our own house years ago.

I'll always love you, Adriana.

I played it again. And again. The tears came without my permission, sliding down my face while the light bled out of the room and dusk pooled in the corners of our marital territory like something spilled and left to dry. I did not turn on a single lamp. I sat in the dark with the small glowing screen and let it show me, over and over, exactly where I stood.

Lorenzo came home long after the windows had gone black. I heard the soft mechanism of the front locks, the particular weight of his step on the marble, the door closing with the unhurried confidence of a man who believed he owed no one an account of his hours. His voice, when it reached me, was gentle. Indulgent. A man performing tenderness for an audience he assumed was grateful.

"Francesca. Why are you sitting in the dark like this? Dio, you'll trip and break your neck. Think of the baby."

He found the switch and the room flared to light. I turned my face quickly, dragging the back of my wrist across my cheeks before he could read what was written there. He crossed to me and went down on one knee in front of my chair, taking my hand in both of his, and for one obscene moment he looked exactly like the man who had once promised the matriarch of my bloodline that he would guard me with his life.

"Why are you crying?" he murmured, lifting my hand, pressing his mouth to my belly with a reverence that turned my stomach. "Who made my wife sad? Who upset our little one? Tell me his name."

As if a name had ever frightened him into faithfulness.

He leaned close, and that was when it reached me. Jasmine. The same sweet, expensive jasmine that clung to him like evidence he was too arrogant to wash off. I held my voice flat and level, the way my mother taught me a Romano woman holds a glass when her hand wants to throw it.

"Where were you tonight?"

"At the social club. The books take longer than they used to." He said it without a flicker, settling back on his heel, perfectly at ease. "What's troubling you, cara?"

You're lying to me, Lorenzo. You were with Adriana. She had a craving for those dumplings from the east side of the territory, the ones with no runner willing to carry them across the line after dark, so you drove the better part of an hour from the west to fetch them yourself. With your own hands. And she let half the social clubs in the district watch her do it, laughing into her little camera while she filmed her capo running errands like a soldier in love.

I let none of that touch my face. I smiled instead, and I curled my fingers gently around his, and I rested my free hand over the swell of our child the way a contented woman would. "Tesoro," I said sweetly, "I have the strangest craving tonight. Those dumplings from the east side. I can't stop thinking about them."

The baby kicked, hard, as though she felt the lie I was building and wanted no part of stillness. "Would you go and get them for me?"

Something flickered behind his eyes. Annoyance, quick and ugly, gone almost before it surfaced. He slid his hand out from under mine and wiped both palms down his thighs, brushing away something only he could see, the gesture coming a beat too fast.

"Those dumplings aren't anything worth the drive," he said, the warmth draining out of his voice now that it had stopped serving him. "And you're too far along to be eating heavy. You need to watch what you put in your body." He rose to his full height, looking down at me from the comfortable distance of a man who had already decided the conversation was finished. "For the sake of our son, just hold on a little longer. Capisci?"

He did not wait to learn whether I understood.

"I'm going to wash up. I'm dead on my feet," he muttered, already turning away. "Call your mother. Have Vittoria make you something from the kitchen if you're hungry."

The bathroom door clicked shut behind him. Soft. Final. A small, careless sound, and yet I felt it close in my chest like the lid of something.

I swallowed the sob crawling up my throat. I would not give it to him. I would not give it to this house. I spread my hand flat and slow over the curve of my belly, my child, my bloodline, the one honest thing left to me in all this beautiful, poisoned territory, and I whispered into the quiet he had left behind.

"Listen to me, piccola. You and I are about to fight a very hard war together."

Chapter 3

Lorenzo's phone glowed on the long dining table, the screen pulsing like a slow heartbeat against the dark walnut. He never bothered to hide it. Not even here, in the house his marriage to my family had bought him, beneath the roof his standing in the Vitale Family rested upon. The arrogance of it sat in my throat like a stone.

Did he truly believe me that simple? A Romano daughter, raised at the knees of men who could smell a lie before it left a mouth.

From the bathroom came the steady rush of water, the sound carrying through the still rooms, off the cold marble of the hall. I drew a breath, set both hands beneath the heavy curve of my belly, and rose from the chair with the slow, deliberate effort the child demanded of me now. I crossed to the table. Hoping, foolishly, for something quick and clean, I tried the obvious keys first. The date we were bound before the elders. His birthday. Mine. Each one rejected me in turn, a small door closing in my face.

My fingers were not steady when I keyed in the date printed on Adriana Bruno's forged ultrasound. The proof of a bloodline heir that was never his to claim.

It opened.

I bit down hard on the inside of my lip and let a thin, cold sound leave me, something that was almost a laugh and was not one at all. The messaging vault unfolded under my thumb. And there she was, exactly where I knew she would be. Her photograph beside his. Their images paired like a matched set, the way a man pairs a ring to a hand he intends to keep.

He had written, If love lasts forever. She had answered, Does it matter if we're together every day?

I went into the thread and the filth poured out of it. Darling, I miss you. Baby, when will I see you again. Two years of it, layered like silt at the bottom of a river. I would not let it take me under. I pressed my will down over my heart like a flat stone over a flame and started the screen recording, watching every honeyed word scroll past while the device drank it in for me.

Then his ordering history. I opened it and felt the floor of my stomach drop away. Prenatal supplements. Creams and skin treatments. Cosmetics, the small luxuries a man buys a woman he is tending. All of it sent to one address, again and again, out in the discreet streets of Maplewood, the quiet district where men of the life hide their kept women and their dirtier arrangements. Every parcel delivered to her hands. Not one to mine.

With one palm resting on the restless press of my baby's heel against me, I worked the other across the screen, capturing each frame. I sent the recordings and the images to myself, then went back through with patient care and erased every trace I had left behind, smoothing the surface of the water until it lay still again. When it was clean, when nothing showed, I returned the phone to the exact angle I had found it, the same blink, the same arrogance, undisturbed.

I made my slow way back to the bedroom and lowered myself down onto my side. The weight of his betrayal settled over me like cold water rising. My heart felt as though something had been torn clean through it, and I could not stop the shivering that came up from somewhere far beneath the cold weight of that betrayal. Seven years bound to him, an alliance sworn in blood between his line and mine, and I had been made into a cruel joke whispered in back rooms I would never be invited to.

The water stopped. When Lorenzo came out, a towel low at his hips and steam still clinging to his shoulders, his phone rang. Through the narrow gap where the bedroom door stood open, I watched his face. I watched it soften the way a face only softens for one name. He glanced once toward the bed, toward me, then stepped out onto the balcony and drew the glass door shut behind him with the silent care of a man who has learned to be quiet.

I could not let it lie. I forced myself up again, the child shifting and heavy, and stood close to the door where I could see him through the dark glass. The words did not reach me, but his expression did. Tender. A small smile at the corner of his mouth. Then, at something she said, the smile faltered and a faint discomfort crossed him. He wiped one palm down his thigh, then the other, brushing at something only he could see. But it passed. Of course it passed. Whatever she pressed him for, he yielded to it, the smile returning, soft and weak and damning.

The chill in my chest went down to the bone. Slowly I turned and dragged myself back to the bed, and it felt as though all the air had been pulled out of the room and carried off with it. Even breathing was a labor.

A few minutes later I heard the glass slide open, heard him cross the carpet on careful, tiptoeing feet, a made man stepping soft as a thief in his own house. He lay down behind me. One of his hands came to rest on the swell of my belly, where his child turned in the dark. The other moved to my brow, gentle, brushing the hair back from my forehead with a tenderness that no longer cost him anything because it had never once been mine. I did not move. I did not blink. Beneath his palm I drew my own hand slow and flat across the fabric over my belly, smoothing it once, the way a woman soothes the thing she is carrying.

It was not tenderness. It was the moment I sealed what came next.

Chapter 4

His voice was soft against the dark of the bedroom, the kind of softness that had once meant safety and now meant nothing at all. "Tesoro, there's a matter at the social club. Something's come up. I have to go in."

I turned my head against the pillow and looked into his eyes, deeply, the way you study a man's face when you already know what lives behind it. My last shred of hope flickered, weak as a votive candle in a draft, and I let it speak for me one final time. "I don't feel well, Lorenzo. Could you stay?"

For one breath, one foolish breath, I told myself that if he chose me over her, if he set down his ambition and lay back down beside the wife who carried his bloodline, I could find some way to forgive him. I could swallow it whole and keep this house standing.

But then I remembered what my mother had taught me in the old language of our world. Once an oath is broken, no elder, no sit-down, no amount of tribute can stitch it back together. Trust, once severed, stays severed. The string, once cut, cannot be retied.

And as expected, Lorenzo gave me that troubled, charming smile, the one that had moved better men than him to forgive worse than this. His hand came to rest on the blanket near my hip, light, performative. "Sweetheart, this is the territory I've been chasing for two years. The thing that makes me. I can't miss the meet."

"I'll send word to your mother. Let Vittoria come sit with you, sì? She'll fuss over you the way you like."

A wave of nausea rolled through me, cold, and goosebumps rose along my arms beneath the sheets. Still, I gathered the words from somewhere deep and pushed them out, even and quiet. "Drive safely."

I lay there in the dark and said nothing more, watching him dress in the spill of light from the closet. The careful fold of his collar. The flat of his palms wiping down the front of his trousers, brushing at fabric that held nothing, a habit he wore the way other men wore cologne. He did it twice. He did not know I was counting.

Then the door, then his steps on the stairs, then the low growl of the engine in the courtyard below.

Slowly, I rose. One hand braced beneath the swell of my belly, I made my way down the staircase of the house that bore both our names, past the cold marble and the dark wood, and out into the night where a hired car idled at the gate. I gave the driver the only address that mattered now.

"Maplewood Estates."

He nodded and pulled into the streets. Maplewood. The discreet district at the edge of the territory, the quiet pocket of leafy lanes and high hedges where men of the life kept the things they did not want the Family to see. Kept women. Dirty arrangements. The secret half of a married man's life, tucked behind wrought iron and good landscaping.

The driver moved fast through the empty roads, and just as we turned onto the lane, I saw it. Lorenzo's car, sliding to the curb ahead of us like it belonged there, like it had done this a hundred times before. My stomach clenched so hard I had to breathe through my teeth. I leaned forward and told the driver to stop behind the broad trunk of an oak, out of the reach of the streetlamp's glow.

From the dark of the back seat, I watched her come.

Adriana. She fluttered down the front steps and into his arms like a butterfly, light and weightless, the way a woman moves when she has never once feared for her life. He caught her against his chest, gentle, careful, and laid his hand flat against her stomach. Her flat stomach. His face changed into something I had not seen turned toward me in months, a soft, tender reproach, fond and indulgent, and he tapped the tip of her nose with one finger like she was something precious he could not believe was his.

I cradled my own belly with one hand, the real weight of his blood, the true heir of the bloodline, and with the other I drew my phone from my coat. My thumb found the camera. The world narrowed to that small bright rectangle, and my fingers trembled against the glass as I watched through it. Watched him lift her into the passenger seat as if she were made of spun sugar. Watched him reach across her and draw the seatbelt down and buckle it with a care he had never once shown the woman carrying his child.

My eyes burned. The heat of it climbed up the back of my throat. I blinked, hard, and forced it down, because tears were a luxury and I could not afford a single one tonight.

"Follow that car," I said. My voice did not shake. I would not let it.

The road climbed onto the overpass and the neon of the territory streamed past the window in long smears of red and gold, the lights of the clubs and the fronts and the all-night places where men like my husband fed their appetites and called it business. In the daze of it my nails found the window frame and dug in until one split at the quick, and the bright clean shock of the pain pulled me back into my own body. I lifted the bleeding finger to my mouth and bit down on it, hard, the copper taste sharp on my tongue, anchoring me to the seat, to the breath in my chest, to the child who needed me steady.

As the car wove through the streets I said it to myself, over and over, the way my mother had said her rosary through her own war. Francesca, endure it. The pain will pass. You are Romano blood. The pain will pass.

We came at last to the gates of Riverside, the hospital the old families trusted, where the doctors asked no questions and the names in the ledgers stayed quiet. I paid the driver through the little glowing square on my phone, my split finger smearing faint red across the glass.

As I gathered myself to step out, the driver, who had not said a word the whole ride, turned in his seat. There was something in his weathered face I had not expected, a plain human kindness, the kind that does not belong to my world at all.

"Miss," he said gently. "Take care of yourself. For the baby's sake. Whatever it is, don't go hurting yourself over it."

I had told no one. Not a soul since the night the tribute ledger first whispered the truth to me. The secret sat in me like poison, eating its slow way through everything I was, and I had carried it alone with my mouth shut, the way our world demands a woman carry her shame. Omertà. Silence above all. And here was a stranger, a man who would never know my name, offering me a single clean breath of air and pulling me back, just for a moment, from the edge of the abyss I had been staring into for days.

I closed the car door softly and gave him the first true smile I had managed in a week.

"Don't worry, Sir," I said. "No one can hurt me anymore." I rested my hand flat against my belly and went very still, and for one slow moment I did not blink. The decision settled in me, final and quiet, smooth as my palm sliding over the curve of my child. "Because I am about to throw the trash exactly where it belongs."

Don’t Call Me Your Donna Anymore

Chapter 2
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