01 Divorce and Heartbreak

(Winona)

It’s been two months since I saw my husband Jayden. I’m almost positive he’s coming to ask me for a divorce right now but I’m not giving up.

Three years ago, after a car accident, he lost his memory, and I lay in a coma for a year. When I woke up, all I wanted to do was see him again. All I wanted was for us to be the couple we once were.

When I found him, it was like a knife straight through my heart. Not only didn’t he remember me, but he loved another woman, Ashlyn. My heart pounds and tears swell in my eyes as I listen to the husband I love speak to me over a call like he hates me more than anything else in the world.

“Despite what you did, I’m coming there,” he seethes over the phone. “I want this over once and for all and I’m coming back to see that happens. I’ll be there at dinner time.”

He believes I drugged him into sleeping with me two months ago. “I did nothing. This is all a mistake, if only you could remember how much we loved each other…” I beg.

“Don’t start with these lies again,” he roars.

My hands shake as I hold my cell phone away from my ear. My heart breaks all over again but I’m determined to help him remember me. One day he will. Please let him remember me.

“I’m not lying to you, I swear. I love you.” My voice fades because I’ve almost given up hope on us. I let out a small sob despite myself.

“Don’t start on fake tears. You’re pathetic. I know what you’re trying to do. Mother warned me you’d do this.”

His mother always hated me. She never wanted him to marry me. I wasn’t good enough. My family had no status or money. She’d forbidden him to marry me and said she’d cut him from the will and the family billions if he did.

But Jayden said he didn’t care about what she said. He loved me and even if we had to start with nothing, we’d build our own world together. I was more important to him than money or his family who constantly hated anyone not in their financial league.

“Jayden. We went to Vegas. We got married. Then we had the accident on the way back. Getting married was your idea, not mine.”

“I don’t care what you say. So, we got married but you tricked me into it.”

“No. That’s not true. You loved me then we had an accident and everything changed.”

“Liar!” he roars again. “I have all the proof I need. There’s nothing you can do to convince me otherwise.” Then the call is disconnected.

In these two years, I never gave up on our love. It was too real, too deep, too passionate. But right now, I’m doubting everything. His family is powerful. Ashlyn has the family background they want. She’s lying to him as well.

Tears pour down my face. Perhaps I should just walk away. God knows I’d tried everything to get him to remember. To trigger something in his head to make him at least question the story his family had given him.

I took him to many places that were meaningful to us, but all he showed was boredom and sometimes contempt.

The last time I’d tried, he became very agitated. “I told you I don’t remember you. Why can’t you just give up? I just want a peaceful life, to be happy with the woman I love, Ashlyn. But you keep trying to convince me I loved you. How could I ever love someone like you?”

The look in his eyes that day made me realize he truly believed everything they’d said to him.

He only saw me as an obstacle, a wife he didn’t want anymore. But I got so close to helping him see what we used to be. So close.

Two months ago we got drunk together, and we slept together for the first time in two years. It was amazing and I thought I’d finally won him back.

But the next morning, Jayden was angrier than ever. He was convinced that it was just another scheme to win him back. I was still hopeful that one day he’d realize I was innocent.

But today he’s coming home and I’ve prepared all his favorite dishes and I’m sitting here waiting at the dinner table.

I hear him come in the front door. I stand up.

Maybe, here, he might remember what we had. How he loved the way I cooked for him.

But he walks into our home with the woman he fell in love with when I was in coma.

He glances over the laden table and shakes his head. “You truly are delusional. Did you think I was here to have dinner with you?” He spits the words out like venom.

“Did you really think I could ever be with you again? You may have gotten me into bed with you once, but I won’t be slumming anytime soon again. You’re pathetic.”

Behind him I notice Ashlyn with a shocked look on her face. She didn’t know we’d slept together obviously.

He stares at me with no emotions in his eyes and hands me a document. “Sign this.”

I take it and look at the heading. Divorce papers. “No. I don’t want a divorce. Just give us a chance.”

“Ashlyn and I want to get engaged. Sign the damn papers!”

This hits me so hard I want to vomit. I rush out to the kitchen sink and I vomit. It’s awful. When I’m done, I use a paper towel to wipe my mouth and go back to the dining room.

“You can pretend to be sick all you want. I’m not falling for that. Just sign the divorce.”

Ashlyn just looks at me blankly but I see something flash over her face like worry or fear. Maybe hearing I’d been with Jayden recently has her rattled.

“Can’t you see they are lying to you. Ashlyn, your mother. Your mother always hated you being with me. But you didn’t care. You were ready to walk away with nothing.”

“Walk away from what my father built up? Walk away from what is rightfully mine? Now I know you’re crazy. I would never do that. Sign these papers now and you I will see that you have money for life. That’s all you ever wanted anyway. Now you can have it. Just let me walk away.”

“It was never about the money for me.”

“That’s not true. I have proof. If you don’t sign now I will see that you never have anything. I’ll ban you in this city, in this whole country. You’re conniving and evil. Just let me go, take the money and go and find some other man to scheme. I promise I wont get in your way,” He snaps.

The fury on his face almost scares me.

I grip the divorce papers and sigh.

He glares at me and pushes a pen at me because he can tell I’ve given up.

“I can honestly say one thing.”

His voice is quiet now and my heart skips a beat in hope. Maybe he has something nice to say as I take the pen.

“I wish I never met you.”

“Me too.”

Heartbroken and hurt, I signed the papers.

02 Letting Him Go

(Winona)

I’m packing up my personal things. Slowly placing the possessions I love into boxes. My heart is torn apart as I glance around the house I’d started to set up as my forever home. The one I’d build a family with Jayden in and live happily ever after.

Fresh tears start as I think about maybe never being a mother now. I just can’t imagine myself ever loving anyone else as much as I love Jayden. I certainly can’t see myself pregnant and happy with another man.

I grew up in a loveless and abusive family. The shining light was a kind and loving foster mother I got to live with when I went to college and university.

Come to think of it, she was as much responsible for my success as Jayden was at the time. That home made me forget my awful early childhood and see the world could be a nicer place. You know what? I’m going home to her. She never ever judged. She never tried to tell me not to see Jayden.

My father was a drunk and my mother was cold because she never wanted a baby to have to care for. I always swore I’d love my children more than anything else in the world even if I’d never planned for them.

My cell phone buzzes and it’s Lisa. I need a friend more than anything right now even if Lisa is a little unhinged at times, her heart is in the right place and she seems to have grown up a lot this past year.

“Hi.” I sniffle.

“You’re crying again.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I can’t believe he’s treating you this way. And as for Ashlyn, unbelievable. She was practically our best friend. Like a little sister.”

“I guess love makes you do stupid things.”

Lisa is silent for a second. “That may be true but you don’t need to make excuses for them. They deserve each other.”

“You are right about that.” I am hurt beyond anything I could ever imagine. But, if this is what he wants then they are welcome to each other. I’ll find a way to reinvent myself again.

“It would be much healthier for you to just move on and stop living in the past. I want you to be happy again.”

Bless her, she really cares about me. My life was so dark and lonely during high school. I didn’t fit in. I hated myself. My parents hated me. I had no other family. Then Jayden showed up like a shining light of hope just before I was moved to a foster home.

At first I was sure it was all a prank and he was going to just laugh at me with his friends. But Jayden was different. He didn’t care what anyone else thought about him being my friend.

I guess with someone like Jayden and his family no one was brave enough to say anything to him.

“Without his unconditional love and support I’d have probably done something awful,” I tell her.

“Don’t say that. You wouldn’t. You are much stronger than you think. You got those scholarships and you got your degrees. Jayden didn’t do the work for you.”

“But maybe I’d never have gone to college let alone graduated university without his support. He never gave up on me and I will never give up on him. I’ll never give up on us.” I tell her with a strength inside me I’d almost forgotten about. But it’s pointless now.

“Just promise me, you’ll use that determination to also build a life for yourself. You are worth it.”

I take a deep breath. She’s right. I do need to make a life for myself. “I will. I’m going back to my home city in a few days. I’ll start fresh.”

“We’ll catch up before you leave town. It’s my birthday the day after tomorrow.”

I’d forgotten. “Oh, Lisa. Sure, we’ll catch up. I’ll send you my room number when I check into the hotel.” I disconnect the call and sigh. My whole life has changed so much in a few years.

My cell buzzes again. It’s Lance. He’s been Jayden’s best friend for as long as Lisa has been mine and we’d also formed an unlikely if not awkward friendship.

I think he was sweet on me first up but I only had eyes for Jayden and Lance respected his friend enough to let it go. Plus Lance isn’t the type to settle down, lord knows Lisa had tried with him.

Now we seem caught up in some weird zone where Lance wants to be on Jayden’s side but then he still wants to be friends with me. I don’t think he can see how to have both without Jayden and I being together again. But he also cannot get through to Jayden.

Whatever the proof is that Jayden has, must be super convincing.

I let the call go because I don’t think I can talk crap about my situation with Lance right now. My phone insistently buzzes again, and again. I’ll just get this over with, I guess. “Lance, hi.”

“Hey there. I’m throwing a surprise party for Lisa at my house. Jayden will be there. You should come. It’ll be like old times. Might help activate his memory.”

“No thanks.” I’ve spent almost a year trying to activate his memory. Nothing has worked. Not even a night of passion. That just made Jayden even more hostile towards me.

“Really? I think you should. I mean, it’s been ages since us four hung out like that. Not since Vegas, and um, well, the accident.”

“Nothing is the same now, Lance. But I do thank you for the support.”

“I think we should at least try and help him remember how happy you guys were.”

“I’m done trying. If he does remember it has to be when he is ready. We clearly can’t force this. And what if he never remembers? I can’t just hang about with him hating on me forever. I spent a year in a coma. I need a life now.”

“Are you really sure?” he asks again.

“I signed the divorce papers yesterday. I’m leaving town.”

“What!? Why would you sign for a divorce? I mean, he’s worth an absolute mint.”

“Because I can’t keep hanging on to false hope. Jayden has made his feelings clear. I may be hurt and angry but I’m not an idiot. Let them have their life together. I’m going to make my own life.”

“Wow. I guess you’ve restored my faith in human nature. I can’t find anyone who won’t date me for my money.”

I want to say that’s because he’s a shallow idiot but I don’t. “One day you’ll find someone to love.”

“Maybe. Are you sure you won’t come along anyway? Lisa would love you there.”

“I’ll keep in touch.” I lie because it’s just easier right now.

I disconnect the call and walk to the box of baby things Jayden and I once collected together. The softness of a lemon-colored blanket starts a new set of tears rolling.

Behind me an acid voice speaks. “Still fake-crying I see. Give it up, Winona. You and my son were never meant to be.

03 Pregnancy? Oh No!

(Winona)

“Why are you here? How did you get in? The door was locked.”

Every aspect of Judy Brennan was perfect. Her thousand-dollar outfit. Her smile. Her trim, athletic shape. But the shiniest apples are sometimes rotten inside. This shiny apple was the most rotten I’d ever known.

“This is Jayden’s house. Of course, I have a key. I have every right to stop by and see if you need help getting your sorry backside as far away from here as possible.”

I’m about to say something back and the urge to vomit hits me. I rush to the bathroom and try to throw up in the washbasin. I’ve had nothing to eat and I just heave and cough until my stomach hurts.

But every day this week I’ve been nauseous, and I can’t eat much. I figured it’s the stress. Now it’s just this horrid woman.

She’s in the bathroom doorway. “Hmph… sick again are you? Ashlyn told me you’d vomited last week when they came by with the divorce papers. She told me you’d been with Jayden not so long ago too.”

Even though she scares the crap out of me, I splash cold water on my face, dry it with a towel and straighten up. “That’s none of Ashlyn’s or your business. He’s a grown man. His sex life is his business. Besides, if he had a commitment with Ashlyn, he wouldn’t have done anything with me. He’s not like that.”

“Well, They’re engaged now. Of course you would use your body to tempt him. That’s how you got him in the first place. I bet you did anything and everything he wanted to keep him,” she sneers.

“He approached me. I would never have met him if he hadn’t pursued it.” I know it’s pointless trying to convince her. “If it wasn’t for him, we’d never have fallen in love.”

Maybe it’s me who needs convincing the way he is now is because of the amnesia. That what we had was real. I might not be able to be with him now but he did love me. He really did. He just can’t remember and neither of us can help that.

“He never really loved you; it was lust. Now he can see what you’re really like. A gold digger. Ashlyn is ladylike enough to wait until they are married. He does have respect like that, you’re right.”

Actually, Jayden and I never had sex for a whole two years because he respected me wanting to wait until I was ready. The night I was ready, prom night, he was ready. It was slow and beautiful and perfect. That night bound our souls together.

I didn’t think anything would ever stop him loving me. “Why can’t you just admit you are wrong. I made him happy. Blind Freddy could see that.”

“That’s your story but I know if you have his first-born, you have his fortune in the palm of your hand. Don’t tell me that wouldn’t be a factor for any woman? He never wanted kids. I don’t know why you’re crying over baby things. This is a fantasy you’ve conned him into.”

“Unlike you, some people aren’t motivated by money or power. We wanted a baby.”

“Your family is trash. Of course you’re motivated by money. You want everything you didn’t get with your family and you tried to use Jayden and Ashlyn to get it. Playing big sister and devoted wife. Ashlyn was always meant to be with Jayden. It was arranged from the day she was born.”

I can’t hide my surprise and disgust at this statement. “Arranged? My God, you’re all stark raving mad. Love is love.” I feel a little sorry for Ashlyn now. Clearly, she’s been groomed to love Jayden. “You cannot dictate what the heart wants.”

“I’m doing okay so far.”

I’m beginning to see I’ve really dodged a bullet here. I can never trust her and I would never leave any child of mine with her. “You are evil. One day, Jayden will see that.” I know I shouldn’t bait her like that but I’m so angry right now.

I swear she will not bring me down. I will succeed despite her.

“I can tell you; your tricks won’t work. Even if you are pregnant now.” Her voice is low and dangerous. “I’ll make sure you are out of his life forever.”

My mind is racing. Pregnant? She thinks I might be pregnant?

The possibility rams into my mind. I am on the pill to try and regulate my period but it’s the low-dosage because my hormones are shot with the other medications. Endometriosis means getting pregnant will be almost impossible without intervention. Almost.

I cannot let her think I think she’s right. “I’m not pregnant. Doctor says it’s a virus, that’s all. I’d hate being pregnant right now. When I have kids it will never be to a grandmother as delusional and controlling as you.”

She steps into the bathroom and into my personal space. “You better not be pregnant. If I find out you are, I will take that baby from you and you’ll never see it again. Your child will learn to hate you as much as my son does now.” Her threat is very real. “Or perhaps I’ll have to tell my grandchild, the mother died in an accident.”

I feel the color drain from my face. I’m not taking any chances.

My heart pounds and I know to take this woman at her word. “I’m not pregnant. Now get out. The storage people will be here soon.” I’m not letting her think she intimidates me for long. “I can’t wait to get away from you all.”

“Don’t think you can fight me. I have police, judges, politicians in my pocket.”

I stand up straighter and pull my shoulders back to pretend I don’t care and that she doesn’t scare me. “Just leave. I need to go, and you’re holding me up.”

She scoffs at me again, but she does leave. I lock the door behind her and put the chain in. I race to the bedroom cupboard. I know I had a test there leftover from before.

I see it in the back corner and grab it. Still in date. My head is spinning and my hands shake as I rip it from the packaging and lock the bathroom door behind me.

Five minutes later I see two blue lines. Oh no. I am pregnant with his baby. But, oh my goodness! I am pregnant against all the odds. Now I know I have to leave here and make a life for myself and my child. I don’t want this baby being raised in such a toxic environment.

I don’t want to risk miscarriage in such a toxic environment.

Stuffing the packaging and the test into my handbag so she can’t find it accidentally after I’m gone. It honestly would not surprise me if she had someone go through the trash.

I put my handbag over my shoulder and picked up my overnight bag. I walk out the door and pull it shut behind me. Any sadness from leaving here has been replaced with survival instinct. I will leave and not ever come back near this place again.

I now have a new priority growing inside me. I have to protect my baby from that monster.