Kaia POV

My own mate rejected me on our wedding night. As soon as I signed the marriage certificate and prepared to consummate our new life together...he rejected me.

“I, Than Sable, Alpha of the Amber Desert Pack, reject you Kaia Glace as my Luna.” I remember his cruel cutting words as if they were only yesterday. But they weren’t, his rejection of our mate bond was two years ago.

The words still resound in my ears even after all this time.

Time, I have wasted being a semi-Luna. Time wasted with a mate that doesn’t even want me.

Than and I met at college. The noisy corridors of college seem like a lifetime ago now, so does the Than I knew back then. As soon as we returned to the Amber Desert Pack, he took on his position as the Alpha. I happily followed to become his Luna, as his mate.

The caring and supportive Than I knew at college changed instantly as soon as we were married. He rejected me even before our wedding night, even before marking me.

I’ve gone over and over again in my head what I must have said, what I did wrong, but each time I came up empty. Every time I asked him, I would get a grunt or an inaudible murmur, so I stopped asking.

His complete reversal in character makes me feel as if I imagined our college days, as if they didn’t even exist and I was living in a dream world.

An illusion.

Our mate bond is non-existent. That’s a lie, it exists but he doesn’t allow himself to get close to me, doesn’t allow himself to be alone in a room with me. It’s as if I disgust him. That it pains him to get close to me.

I hate our mate bond. The very thing that makes my heart flutter as he enters a room, or the scent of roasted chestnuts that lingers on the furniture.

Even his auburn shaded hair, muscular alpha body and hazel eyes I have come to hate. I hate the way the mate bond tricks me every day.

For an entire year after our wedding there was hardly a time that I saw Than, especially alone. He became exceedingly busy with pack affairs and used it as an excuse to stay away from me.

I tried to solve the issue I may have caused, to save our marriage. I must have done something wrong...

But when I found out what the real problem in our marriage was, I stopped trying. I gave up...because it was just too insurmountable.

So, for the last year I’ve remained quiet in the house he has assigned to me.

In all honesty, I’ve grown tired of the life I lead, this wasn’t the life I imagined for myself.

I tried to communicate with Than. I tried to put across my case to leave the Amber Desert pack, but he always said that there was still time.

I’m not sure what kind of measure of time he was referring to, but I felt out of time.

Anyway, it turned out that I was his "Luna", but in reality, I was his imprisoned canary.

However, I never gave up and ran, because I felt that my life should not be like this, and besides, I also had my own things that needed to be resolved.

“Kaia?” His growl reaches my ears as I sit in my bedroom, an internal sigh escaping me for his disturbance.

I walk out of my bedroom and downstairs, at first thinking I imagined his voice. Because why would he be here?

But his lingering scent was the key detail of him actually being here.

I walk into my living area to find him standing, his back to me. I can feel the chemical reaction of the mate bond trying to encourage me to touch him, to give into that gravitational pull to once again experience those tingles that only a mate can give.

I resist.

“What are you doing here?” He never visits me, why now.

“This is my pack, I can go wherever I want.” His voice holds an irritation to it.

He has clearly been in night training; he is sweaty and dirty...his white tight vest now tingeing on the grey side, his jeans muddy from being left on the ground. His auburn hair now shaved down, not the long boyish strands I used to enjoy running my fingers through.

He spins, his eyes turning a deeper brown as they flash at me...I’m only wearing a black slip. I thought I’d be alone as usual, no point dressing up for oneself.

“Than, why are you here?”

“I’ve incurred a slight problem...”

“A slight problem? And I can help how?”

He doesn’t respond to me, but he finds himself comfortable enough to walk into my kitchen and fetch my bottle of vodka. By the smell reaching my nostrils, he’s already downed a bottle of whiskey this night. I won’t talk to him like this, he can walk himself out.

I head up the stairs, towards my bedroom when I hear his footsteps following me up the stairs. I turn to face him on the landing, his peculiar behaviour piquing my interest.

His hand pulls at my arm, pulling me into him, his lips taking me off guard as they almost touch mine. “It would seem I need to have a child...” His voice is cold...holding some kind of resentment.

“A child?” I hide my scoff internally, as my wolf growls in my mind. She hates him, hates him for rejecting us.

His eyes are on me now for my disrespectful comment. His aura increasing, an invisible command trying to force me to submit.

He’s always struggled to make me submit and it gives me deep joy to know how much that grates on him.

He doesn’t know why.

“Can I ask why now? Where has this come from? Let’s not pretend that you have any feelings for me Than. Why bring a child up in this unloving and toxic environment?” I untangle myself from his hold and create some much-needed distance between us.

“The pack needs an heir; you are the Luna after all.”

He does what I was praying to the moon goddess for him not to do, he starts walking towards me. His prowling steps resulting in my spine to shiver.

This man was your typical alpha...tall, muscles, predatory eyes to help seal the deal...but it’s the inside that sickens me.

Yet there’s as part of me that hopes I have it wrong, that there has been some kind of misunderstanding between us since the wedding...because why would we be matched together?

As he comes closer his scent tickles at my senses, the roasted chestnut smell now mixed with heavy alcohol.

He’s in front of me before I can do anything, his hand stroking at my face. A deep gulp forming in his throat, as if it pains him to touch me.

As soon as his fingers are on me, I want to moan with pleasure from his touch, from the tingles that I hadn’t felt in so long.

I’m entranced by the tingles that just naturally continue, as his mouth kisses the tip of my shoulder. He pulls at my black spaghetti slip strap, running his tongue across the skin.

A guttural moan escapes me as my head rolls back. I push my wolf away, was it selfish of me to enjoy what was owed to me? What was destined to me?

“It’s just a child Kaia...” He slurs on his own words as his hand grips at my neck, his hand angling my neck...a growl rumbling in his chest.

Just a child? How can he say that?

The mate bond was already weaving its magic. His closeness was doing things to me, his scent overpowering my thought process. I hated how the mate bond reduced me to this.

“Say yes...” His lips are by my ear and I have to bite down on my tongue to keep my moans in check.

My body is lost in the lustful feel of his touch at my lower core as his free hand lifts under my hem and pushes my panties aside. His other hand remains at my neck, keeping me upright as his thumb now creates circular motions at my clit.

Would a child make him love me again? Would a child bring us closer?

I don’t think so, how could I knowingly bring a child into a relationship where the father can’t be in the same room as the mother.

“No!” I gasp out, my body now fighting against the mate bond. Waking up from its spell.

“No?” He seethes in my ear, his hand tightening around my neck.

“No, I said no.” I snarl at him, the tightness around my throat now hurting.

I start to push on his chest, but he is built like a brick wall. He doesn’t listen to my rejection, his hand continuing down below.

“Get your hands off me...” I snarl at him, my teeth close enough to his face to bite.

His jaw tense, as his eyes glare at me.

*trigger warning*

He pushes me back into my bedroom where the back of my legs hit against the bed. I lift my leg to kick him where it hurts, to snap him out of his lustful haze. But he blocks my knee with his, pushing my legs apart.

Still holding onto my throat, he pushes us onto the edge of the bed where I am locked in his hold, using all my strength to fight it.

His other hand is now blocking my punches and clawing attempts, before I feel him grip tightly onto my hip. I hear him unzip his jeans, the denim dropping to the floor.

Before I know it, he thrusts into me, too hard. I can feel myself burning inside as he overstretches me.

Something inside of me freezes, telling me that I want this child...the treacherous mate bond trying to convince me even now.

Tears are flowing down my face as I struggle with his harsh thrusts.

I’m pinned, not making any movement at all. His hand now off my neck and both pinning my body down.

I can’t look at him, my eyes are slammed shut, I know I’ll relive this...I want the memory already gone.

I’m not sure what the measure of time is but it feels like an eternity before I feel him chasing his own release.

“Alora...” He lowly growls as I feel him climax, his seed spilling into me.

Tears escape me as I lay still. As he releases his tight hold on me, my hands clamp over my mouth to keep my sobs silent.

Alora.

She was the reason my marriage was a fake.

She was my marital nightmare.

Kaia POV

I couldn’t sleep, not with him next to me. He hasn’t moved, and I’m frozen as his arm lays across my waist, as if what had just happened was a happy thing for me. As if he were trying to keep me safe.

My mind keeps going over and over what had just happened.

Reliving every moment.

He called out her name...her name.

Alora.

She was the person that Than loved deeply, she was the reason why he never gave our mate bond a chance.

He has thrown it away for her!

I don’t even know who she is, where she is. All I know from snippets of information is that she was in a coma, and Than could never get over her.

That’s when I stopped trying to work on our mate bond. I couldn’t fight against something so strong that it would overpower a mate bond….

A mate bond that is designed by the Moon Goddess herself.

I knew that no matter what I tried, how much I tried to change myself for him...I could never escape the curse of Alora. It was far better for my own wellbeing to just let them be.

His use of her name whilst inside of me, as she lays in a coma, is enough proof that

I will never be able to replace her in his heart.

................

When he woke up, I pretended to be asleep, I couldn’t look him in the eyes.

When I finally went downstairs, I hoped he would have left, returned to the alpha house for breakfast. But my heart feels strained as I smell his scent in the kitchen.

I sigh internally at the realisation that he has stayed.

He plates up some breakfast food on the table, it didn’t matter what he made, I know I haven’t got the stomach to eat this morning.

Usually, I can enjoy my food peacefully knowing I am alone.

But I can’t eat, thanks to him I now feel awkward in my own house. He keeps looking at me, yet I can’t look at him. I can sense his regret, that he wants to apologise but I can’t hear it...not right now.

“Kaia...” His voice calls out my name. My ears hearing it as if he were miles away, not sitting across the table from me. I didn’t even realise I was lost in deep thought.

I finally look up at him as he places his cutlery on the table, his plate just as full as mine.

Also untouched.

The constant rubbing of his forehead informs me that he has a heavy hangover and is feeling remorse.

“I...” He starts to speak, his mouth open but his lips unable to form any words. I continue to look up at him, to see him in a distressed way when the door slams open...with Zane rushing in, closely followed by Freya.

“Zane, now’s not a good time.” He growls lowly at the intrusion of his beta.

An intrusion into my home. Something that was also starting to feel as if it were being taken away from me.

“Apologies Alpha but the pack doctor has news...You won’t believe it but Alora is showing signs of waking up.”

“What?” Than’s eyes are wide as he jumps to his feet, sprinting away.

As he hastily tries to leave my house, he doesn’t even look back at me as he runs to the front door, followed by Zane.

Their frantic departure leaves an unsettled feeling within me, my wolf trying to voice her concern.

“What will you do if she really wakes up?” Freya quietly asks me as she picks up Than’s plate and takes it into the kitchen.

“What can I do?” I shrug helplessly, as I push the plate aside, all appetite has completely left me now.

I slowly stand up and willingly return to my room...to be alone.

…….

My mind needed an outlet, it needed normality. To complete a task, I had some level of control over.

Turning on my laptop I notice that I have received an email.

Opening the email it informs me that there was still no progress on the investigation into Father. The email reads that there is a possibility that he might have been sighted at the Dark Phantom Pack.

I haven’t seen Father since I was sixteen. Not since our pack was attacked and he ordered my immediate departure.

Closing the laptop, I look down at my wrist. I only now notice Than’s finger marks still evident from last night. Nausea overwhelms me and I rush into the bathroom and vomit into the toilet.

Needing to clean myself, I manage to step into the shower, my lower core still sore from last night, from his overzealous actions. I wanted to wash him off me, his seed had overspilled and dried on my upper thighs.

I turn off the water and reach for a towel. As I dry myself off in front of the long mirror, I’m shocked to see the marks and bruises all over my body.

The most prominent on my neck and hips, how had I not noticed already? I’m littered with both physical and mental scars of what he has done to me.

I must spend the next hour sitting at the edge of the bed, staring at myself in the mirror.

Freya’s words recalling in my mind...“What will you do if she really wakes up?”

What will I do if she wakes up? If she never wakes up, will I be able to survive like this forever?

Perhaps seeing her will help me to decide, perhaps seeing her will answer some questions.

I feel as if seeing her will shed some light on my confusion...

I need to see her....

.....

That evening, I couldn’t stop my curiosity getting the better of me.

I know I shouldn’t go,

I should stay in my home, lock the doors and keep myself to myself. But I couldn’t help it, my intrigue was too strong.

Against my better judgement I left my house and sneaked through the pack, everyone fast asleep. The pack at its quietest.

I dressed to disguise myself. I didn’t need to bother with my hoodie, not one person stopped me or even recognised me when I reached the hospital.

Some Luna I was eh?

I followed my wolf’s intuition. Surely a person in a coma would be in the intensive care unit? I don’t even know what she looks like. All I have to go by is the name Alora.

Keeping my face hidden as much as I can, I locate the patient board to find her assigned to room B5. It takes me a few moments to build up the courage to enter her room.

Was I being disrespectful? Visiting someone who was in a coma?

No, he’s betrayed me by choosing her over our mate bond. Denying my place as Luna because of her.

I shouldn’t be here, this was wrong. But I can’t seem to control my own behaviour.

I nervously push the door open, my eyes darting immediately to the girl on the bed attached to a ventilator for breathing.

This was the person that has captured my mate’s heart so deeply that I never stood a chance? This was my competition? A girl that can’t even breathe by herself?

This is who he has been holding back on me for, on our mate bond....

I slowly walk up to her, my hand already stretched out. My heartbeat becoming faster and faster until I get a closer look at the still body lying on the hospital bed.

I take one last look at her before I...

As my eyes gaze upon her, my body freezes like a statue before my eyes have a chance to catch up.

She looks exactly like me?

My heart continues to race and my head starts to rush, a dizzy spell threatening to take over me.

Is that why I am here, why I am in this pack... Because I look like her?

Kaia POV

She’s my double, identical to me. Her skin isn’t as olive toned as mine, she’s paler from having been away from the sunlight, from being stuck in this hospital bed...but there’s no doubt that she is my double.

My mind can’t seem to process what my eyes are seeing.

How was this even possible?

I walk to the end of the bed, picking up her medical record to see what the hell happened to her.

Than never speaks of her. Apparently never letting anyone get close enough to visit her.

Reading the report, it says she consumed wolfsbane.

Wolfsbane? What would have possessed her to do that? Wolfsbane isn’t something you drink accidentally. It’s a controlled substance, it’s incredibly hard to get hold of.

It’s meant to be excruciatingly painful to consume, an unbearable pain.

I didn’t dare to stay here any longer. I mechanically put the medical record back and walked out of her room, off the entire hospital ward.

I’m not even sure how I got back home. I must have gone into robot mode, my mind taking over as my body remained in a level of shock. I just feel like my legs are shaking all the time, only just keeping it together until I am alone in my own house.

Once I close the front door my mind and body finally reconnect, and I have to hold onto the wall for support.

My legs finally give way as I slowly fall against the wall onto the floor.

My legs tuck into my chest, calling out for my arms to embrace them, which I do.

I provide myself the only support I’ll ever get.

I just sit on the floor trying to work on calming my breathing down.

Why did Alora and I look so similar? She was skinny from being on life support, her face sunken but there was no mistaking our similarities.

More than similarities, our mirror image.

Wait...he approached me at college, made a point of introducing himself to me. Is that why? Because I look like her?

Did he even feel the humming of our bond, the gravitational pull... Or did he only come up to me because I resembled his comatose beloved?

I was an Alora substitute...

I haven’t moved all night, my back sore from having sat all night in the same position, against the hard wall.

What was I really doing here? This question has been plaguing me all night.

That’s when I heard him. It must be the break of dawn for him to be outside on his way to training.

Anger takes over me, my wolf using my bereaved state...because I was in bereavement, bereavement for a mate bond that will never be. For being tricked for too long.

“I saw her!” I call out to him as I open my front door. He turns to face me before ushering his beta, Zane, to continue without him.

“Saw who?” He walks closer to my house but doesn’t enter. I don’t think I want him in here now anyhow.

“Alora.”

His eyes that weren’t particularly interested in talking to me, now dart immediately to mine.

“You have?” He takes a step closer to me, his arm now raised and leaning against the top of my porch.

“Is that the only reason you spoke to me that day at college, because I look like her?”

“Yes!” He answers too quick, too cold hearted.

“Does the mate bond mean nothing to you?” I start to shake, my own words sounding higher than I anticipated.

“How could you...” I whisper out.

“Well now you know, there is nothing to hide.” He starts to back away, not even trying to fight for me once.

Not even an apology...resulting in my anger boiling over.

“You’re a fucking dickhead, I fucking hate you! Don’t come anywhere near me or my house again!” I scream out at him, slamming the door unable to look at him any longer.

........

2 months later

I haven’t seen Than once in the last 2 weeks.

Not once.

Rumour has it that he’s been by Alora’s bed side every day and night. Freya also informed me that the signs of her reawakening are becoming more and more evident.

I’ve increasingly been feeling more uncomfortable in my own skin and with Than being constantly at the hospital it has afforded me a chance to secretly buy a pregnancy test.

I’ve not had a chance to look at it yet, I’ve been standing here for 20 minutes unable to pick it up from the sink. What if I am?

What will that mean for this sick weird love triangle I’m finding myself in?

“Come on Kaia, we can figure it out together. Just look at it.” My wolf encourages me to find the strength to check the result.

With her companionship and support, I find the courage to look at the results.

“Two lines...” I gasp, my free hand clasping at my mouth.

“Two lines...that’s good right? Means a negative?” My wolf’s voice sounds in my head.

“No, two lines is...” I check the box again just to be certain.

“Positive. What am I going to do?”

The positive pregnancy test sat next to me all night on my bedside table. I couldn’t keep my eyes off it. I had to check it numerous of times in the night to make sure I read the results correctly.

Pulling myself out of bed I knew I had to tell him. As much as I hate him right now, this child is still the pack heir.

He’ll either be at the alpha home or the hospital, and I’d rather tell him without her being in the same room. Hence, I was already heading to the alpha house first to check.

As I reach the front garden, both he and Beta Zane head out of the front door together.

I’m not sure what possesses me to do so, but I hide behind one of the large trees as not to be seen.

“Why not wait until Alora wakes up to have a child?”

“We need an heir now, to strengthen the future of this pack.”

“What if Kaia gives you a child, and Alora wakes up?”

“Simple, the child is mine.”

“And Kaia?”

“If Alora wakes up, the wolfsbane has ravaged her kidneys to a stage of disrepair. Kaia will be the organ donor. She won’t have a choice! The doctors already know the score.”

I stop listening, blood bumping in my ears blocking out any other noise.

Organ donor? For her?