I had lived two lives. In both, I followed Dominic Valenti into quiet exile after he stepped back from the family's operations, living in some forgotten corner of the territory, wanting nothing from the world. And in both, his adopted sister clawed her way into the Montecarlo estate and dragged us down with her. Our home was raided. Our family, executed to the last. It always started the same way. She would show up at our door, mascara streaking her cheeks, sobbing that the Don had cast her aside, that he'd chosen another woman as his wife. Dominic would set down whatever he was holding and exhale through his teeth. "You know I can't stand watching you cry." Then he'd pull his old pistol from the lockbox and follow her back to Aurelia. It took dying twice for me to understand. All that talk of sibling devotion. Every word of it was a lie.

——

Dominic Valenti was returning to Aurelia in triumph, and every eligible girl in the old borough had rushed to the gates of the social club to welcome him home.

I was the only one walking the other way.

My little sister Giulietta tugged at my sleeve. "Serafina, aren't we going to meet him?"

I should have been. In both my previous lives, that was exactly what I'd done.

The script never changed.

I congratulated him on his victory.

He proposed in front of the entire neighborhood.

We married, we grew old together, we never parted.

It took a third life to see the truth: I'd given my heart to the wrong man.

I tightened my grip on Giulietta's hand. "We're going home."

The crowd pressed in from every side, the air thick with exhaust and cigarette smoke and the stench of too many bodies. Each breath felt like swallowing stones.

Giulietta pointed at my hair. "But you got up before dawn to do your hair. Wasn't that for him?"

"Did he make you angry? Is that why you won't let him see your pretty hairdo?"

I had no answer for that.

I reached up and pulled the sprig of orange blossom from my hair.

Placed it in my palm and crushed it, slowly, between my fingers.

Once, a bright-eyed boy had tucked an orange blossom behind my ear on the steps of his family's church.

He made me promise to wear one when I came to welcome him home from whatever war the family sent him to fight.

And so for ten years, I, who never cared for anything flashy or ornate, always pinned the freshest orange blossom I could find before going to see him.

I stood beside him through his glory days, his tailored suits and black sedans, his meteoric rise through the Valenti ranks.

And my reward was a bullet in the dark and a family in the ground.

This life, I intended to live differently.

I walked faster.

Giulietta rose on her toes and hurried to keep up.

Behind us, the crowd erupted.

The low growl of an engine hammered closer, louder, vibrating through the pavement beneath my feet.

"Serafina!"

A man's voice split the air beside my ear.

My feet stopped. My body turned, stiff as a board.

Dominic Valenti stood tall beside the open door of his black armored SUV, his charcoal suit cut like a weapon, a signet ring catching the light on his right hand. Sharp brows, striking eyes. He was so handsome it almost hurt to look at him.

"Not going to congratulate me on my victory?"

He watched me, expectation written across his face.

Every girl in the crowd turned to stare at me, green with envy.

Once, I would have basked in those looks.

Savored the certainty that I was the only one in Dominic Valenti's heart.

Until I saw with my own eyes what he did for Carmela Valenti.

Then I understood. All that devotion he'd shown me was nothing but a screen to hide the feelings he could never let the world see.

My voice came out flat. "The line of people waiting to congratulate you stretches from one end of Aurelia to the other, Dominic. You won't miss me."

His brow furrowed. "Three years apart, Serafina, and this is what you have to say to me?"

I let my gaze drift across his face, calm as still water. "Oh, one more thing. When you find the time, send our betrothal contract back to the Corsetti family."

Dominic froze.

He stepped away from the vehicle and nearly stumbled on the curb.

"What is that supposed to mean? Explain yourself."

I had no interest in explaining anything to him.

The only thought in my head was to get as far from here as possible.

Girls swarmed around Dominic, closing in like a tide. Two of his soldiers shifted uncomfortably, hands drifting toward their waistbands, unsure whether to hold the crowd or hold their boss together.

I seized the chance and slipped away with Giulietta.

She squeezed my palm. "You don't want him anymore, Serafina?"

"Everyone says he's the one who held the southern corridor. They're all fighting over him!"

"Why doesn't my sister want the great hero?"

I didn't know how to explain it to her.

Probably because when a great hero decides to betray you, he does it more ruthlessly than anyone else.

He doesn't just crush your heart.

And it would cost my entire family their lives.

A marriage that ended in execution and ruin was one I could not afford.

And no longer wanted.

I hadn't even made it back to the Corsetti house yet.

The news of my broken engagement with Dominic Valenti had already swept through Aurelia.

The visitors lined up outside the Corsetti residence, waiting to pay their respects to my father, were the first to catch the scent of it. One by one, they picked up their gifts and left.

"Does the eldest Corsetti girl still think her family is what it used to be? Marrying into the Valenti family was already above her station!"

"I only wanted to get close to Dominic Valenti through the Corsettis. Otherwise, who'd bother warming up to a house this cold?"

"Who does Serafina Corsetti think she is? All she has is a reputation as the sharpest woman in the old borough. Other women would kill to stand beside Dominic Valenti, and she's been sitting on that engagement for years. Now she breaks it off in front of everyone? Who is she trying to impress?"

"Dominic Valenti earned his name young. A seat on the Commission is right around the corner. The Corsettis are going to regret this until their guts turn green."

...

I listened to all of it. My heart was still as dead water.

Giulietta's little face flushed scarlet with rage. "They look down on you, Sister. They look down on our whole family..."

I patted her head. "Giulietta, what other people think doesn't matter. What matters is that our family stays together, safe and sound."

Giulietta sniffled.

Then her eyes lit up.

"Father!"

She threw herself into our father's arms the moment he stepped through the gate, still wearing the dark suit he kept for sit-downs at the social club.

The complaints poured out of her in a torrent: everything that happened outside the compound with Dominic, every snide remark from every fair-weather visitor who'd turned tail and left.

I clutched the edge of my sleeve, unable to meet my father's eyes.

Not until I heard him ask, "Why don't you want to marry him?"

His tone was gentle. He didn't seem angry.

Only then did I dare speak. "I don't have feelings for him anymore."

It was the most straightforward reason I could think of.

I could hardly tell my father that I had been bound to Dominic Valenti twice before. That the first time, I fell from a cliff and died. That the second time, I lost my head on the executioner's block, the whole Corsetti family lined up beside me, every last one put to the sword.

He wouldn't believe me even if I told him. Better to say nothing.

My father studied me, brow furrowed. "Serafina, you have never been reckless."

"There must be another reason."

"Since you won't say, I won't press."

"But let me remind you of one thing. Dominic has been by your side since childhood. He has always adored you. A match like that is rare. Don't do something you'll regret."

A rare match?

I used to believe that too. That Dominic Valenti was everything I could hope for.

We were promised to each other before we were born, the contract sealed before the Commission when our mothers were still carrying us. We grew up side by side.

From the first stirrings of young love, I dreamed of growing old with him. I held that dream for ten years.

Every letter he sent from the southern corridor, I smoothed flat beneath a paperweight and tucked carefully into a box, layer upon layer.

During the worst of the territorial war, when word came that he was dead, I carved both our names into a plaque of olive wood. Even if he was gone, I would keep his name beside mine.

That was how much I loved him.

And Dominic?

To pave the way for Carmela's entry into the Montecarlo family, he surrendered his crew and laid down his guns.

He told me, "Serafina, you've always been so understanding. I know you'll support my decision."

He asked me to give up my standing in the old borough and follow him to the outskirts, to a life stripped of territory and protection.

When I was carrying his child, he turned around and drove back to Aurelia, all to prop up Carmela's position.

I tried to stop him.

He said I had changed.

"The Serafina I knew would never be this unreasonable."

I stood there, frozen.

Something cracked open in my chest, and the cold wind howled straight through.

Three years of marriage. Three years in that safehouse on the edge of nothing, choking down whatever I could put together from what was left in the pantry.

Hands that once held embroidery needles split open at the knuckles from hauling firewood.

When the kindling was too damp to catch, I got on my hands and knees and blew into the stove until tears streamed down my face.

I never once complained.

And in the end, because Carmela whispered one word of grievance, he blamed me.

I ran after their car.

I just wanted to ask what I had done wrong.

I lost my footing at the cliff's edge. Two lives gone in an instant: mine, and my unborn child's.

Then came the second life. I was careful beyond measure, steering clear of the cliff road, making it back to Aurelia alive. I said every kind word I could think of, poured out every ounce of devotion I had. But he still raised his crew and stormed the Montecarlo compound for Carmela Valenti's sake. The entire Corsetti family was executed because of it. I stared at him through burning eyes and asked, "Why?" Why sacrifice so many lives for one Carmela Valenti? He reached up and wiped the tears from the corner of my eye. "Because she's my sister." "I would betray the whole world to see her happy. What's the extermination of three families compared to that?" In that moment, I finally understood. Childhood sweethearts, steadfast husband and wife, all of it was a lie. The only person Dominic Valenti had ever cared about was Carmela.

……

I pulled myself out of the memories and unclenched my fists, my palms aching where my nails had dug in.

"Father," I said quietly, "I want to enter the selection."

He blinked in surprise. "You mean you want to join the Montecarlo alliance selection?"

I nodded.

His lips moved soundlessly for a moment. "Serafina, even if you don't marry Dominic, there are plenty of fine young men from good families in Aurelia worth considering. Marriage is too important a matter to decide out of spite."

I cut him off. "Besides Luciano Montecarlo, who in this syndicate outranks Dominic Valenti?"

"The Corsettis aren't what they used to be. You've already been generous enough to let me break the blood oath with the Valentis on a whim."

"But I refuse to let our family keep fading."

"Besides, a daughter of a legacy family will have to present herself to the Montecarlos sooner or later. If not me, it will be Giulietta."

Father let out a long sigh.

Luciano Montecarlo was cold by nature. Nothing like Dominic, who knew how to charm. In my previous life, only Carmela had set her sights on the Montecarlo estate. She had been singularly obsessed with becoming the Don's wife.

The old Don was wary of Luciano forming alliances with powerful families. Dominic had to surrender his command of the Crimson Crew before Carmela could be admitted into the Montecarlo inner circle. To prove his loyalty and pave the way for her, Dominic had also handed over every last dollar of the Valenti war chest, including my dowry.

The day we left Aurelia, Carmela came to see us off in tears. She leaned close to my ear and whispered, "Rest easy out in the country, sister-in-law. I'll put your dowry to good use."

My heart sank like a stone. So my dowry had never been surrendered to the Montecarlos. It had gone straight to Carmela. That was the first time I discovered Dominic had lied to me.

……

Father sent for the best portrait artist in Aurelia to paint my likeness for the selection portfolio. I had barely settled into my pose in the front parlor when Dominic came through the gates of the Corsetti house. Two of his soldiers stayed at the curb, engines idling. He spotted me, faltered mid-stride, and took a moment to adjust the collar of his coat before closing the distance. His expression was ice.

"You don't think you owe me an explanation for this broken engagement?"

I lifted my gaze to meet his. "I wanted it broken, so I broke it. What is there to explain?"

"Or does the great Underboss Valenti intend to force a marriage?"

In the past, I had been nothing but gentle and considerate in front of him. Never willful. Never a harsh word. Dominic's brow creased.

"What's gotten into you?"

"Are you upset that I didn't write these past few months?"

"I figured I'd be coming home soon enough. There was no need to waste runners on letters."

I let out a mocking laugh. "Funny. I hear Miss Valenti received one every single day, delivered by personal courier."

"What happened to not wasting runners, Underboss?"

Dominic looked at me with open disappointment. "Carmela is my sister. You're really going to make an issue out of a few family letters?"

"Serafina, we haven't seen each other in three years. When did you become so jealous?"

His sister. The same excuse. The same lie, told to me and to himself. I wiped the smile from my face.

"What I've become is none of Underboss Valenti's concern."

"The betrothal contract has been returned. We're both free. Don't let me keep you."

"Serafina Corsetti!" Dominic seized my wrist. "There's a limit to throwing tantrums."

"Our engagement was sealed before we were even born. You can't just tear it up!"

He thought I was throwing a tantrum.

He had no idea that reaching this moment had cost me two lifetimes.