I opened my eyes slowly because my body felt so sore and found myself in a white room with the sound of an electrocardiogram machine filling the room where I was lying. I didn’t see anyone around me when I realized I was in the hospital. Somehow, I got there.

My stomach still hurts, even though it’s not as painful as before.

“Ah, you’re finally conscious, Ma’am.” A nurse entered.

I replied with a weak nod, hoping to get good information from the nurse about my condition. I don’t know how long I was unconscious, but I remember everything that happened to Clara and me. I remember very well that Clara’s condition was not my fault. I didn’t push her at all.

“How long have I been unconscious?” I asked.

“One week, Ma’am,” the nurse replied while examining my condition.

Ah, I didn’t think it had been that long. But why didn’t Felix show up in front of me? He should at least be worried about our baby if he weren’t worried about me.

“My baby! How is my baby? He’s fine, right?” I just remembered that. I tried to sit impatiently, waiting to hear from the nurse, but my stomach felt even worse than I thought, causing me to collapse back on the pillow.

The nurse tried to calm me down, but I was not calm, of course. Maybe this is the right time to tell Felix I am pregnant with his child.

“Is there a family that can be contacted to discuss your condition and that of your fetus, ma’am?” asked the nurse.

“Family? So, there’s been no one to accompany me all this time?”

The nurse shook her head. “We tried to talk to your husband, but he didn’t want to.”

Instantly, my chest tightened at the sound of it. Felix wasn’t the slightest bit worried about me. He didn’t show the slightest concern and acted as if we were strangers. I felt that Felix was starting to consider me not as his wife.

I have been thrown away now.

“Then just tell me. What happened to me and my fetus?” I asked forcefully.

“You had a miscarriage, Ma’am. And we had to remove your womb immediately because if left in, it would be dangerous for you.”

My gaze was blank, and my ears suddenly deaf, unable to hear anything around me: silence but no calm in my mind. Yes, my world had collapsed. The womb that had been my reason for survival between Felix and Clara was gone. Then what was the point of living now? Everything was gone.

My heart was cracked, shattered, then turned to ashes. Everything was useless.

“Ma’am, are you okay?” Slowly, the nurse’s voice was heard again.

I just nodded uncertainly in response to the nurse’s question.

“It’s gotten so bad because you were late coming to the hospital. Otherwise, even if you had a miscarriage, it’s possible that you wouldn’t have had to experience fetal damage, Ma’am.”

“So?” I am weak, but I still asked it.

“You won’t be able to get pregnant again after removing the womb.”

I burst into tears. My pride in being a woman was being able to give birth to a child. Now it’s gone. I am a useless woman. Even if I reincarnate into life after this, I will feel worthless.

“What about my husband?”

“He came with his other wife and asked for an ambulance to pick you up at home.”

His other wife. It must be Clara. Felix was only worried about Clara, the cause of the destruction of my life.

Not only Clara but Felix is also guilty of what happened to me!

I didn’t ask Felix to prioritize me over Clara because I also knew how Clara was feeling at the time. But at least he took us to the hospital at the same time. He didn’t just come to take Clara without thinking about me.

The information the nurse said cut me to the core.

“Please contact your family to ask for their consent for the surgical removal of your womb.” The nurse ended the conversation.

I was still silent, full of anger, disappointment, sadness, and regret all at once. The pain in my stomach was unmatched by the collapse of my world in just a moment. Who should I share my sorrow with if even my husband is indifferent?

Besides, I have no family. Since I was a child, I lived in an orphanage because my parents had an accident and died. Felix was the only one after that. If I told my in-laws, I would be blamed, too. They would think I was making up stories.

All that was left was myself.

“Alice!” Felix shouted, suddenly coming and yelling at me.

I turned around with a feeling of resignation. “What is it this time?” I asked weakly.

“You killed my baby and Clara!” Felix snapped.

Ah, I see. Clara might have a miscarriage, too. But really, I didn’t push her in the slightest. Even on those stairs, I didn’t touch her. She was the one who tried to push me off. Yeah, I thought this would happen. Their love was so strong, and I was the culprit for them.

“But Clara is still alive, Felix. You can have another baby with her,” I remarked indifferently.

Yes, bland. There wasn’t the slightest desire to defend myself against such accusations. I was already immersed in a reality that hurt me so much. My body could move, but my heart was paralyzed.

“ALICE!” Felix shouted.

“DON’T YELL AT ME!” I replied, raising my tone even though my voice was trembling violently.

I pointed at his face while glaring at him. “You and your whore are the killers!” I snapped.

“What do you mean? You’re still alive.”

“It doesn’t matter if you believe it or not, but Clara tried to hurt me, and she fell herself.” I started to slow down my voice a little.

“It was your fault, Alice. You—”

“It was your fault! You only defended the whore who didn’t carry your child!”

Felix was instantly silent. He stared at me in disbelief. His gaze showed that he was not ready to accept the fact that the child Clara had conceived was not his. His desire to be with Clara again was extreme, as could be seen in his eyes.

It could be seen in his eyes; Felix never wanted me.

“It should have been you who died, Alice.” Felix cursed me and then left.

Felix's curse didn't come true that easily.

The womb removal operation was successful. After two weeks of recovery at the hospital, I returned to Felix's house. The person who hasn't shown up at all since he cursed me to death. I confessed to the doctor that I had no family, and I signed the operation consent letter myself.

I felt sorry for myself.

I hoped that while I was having surgery, there would be someone sitting outside the operating room waiting and praying that God would save me for them and that I could return to them in the best possible condition. But that was just the hope of someone without one in this life.

After post-operative recovery, I decided to divorce Felix.

I will return to Felix's house with a divorce letter and a large bag to transport all my belongings. After learning that he did not want me, I did not apologize and would not beg for his love again.

My sorrow has not been healed, but I want to get up for my life in the future. For that reason, I decided to release Felix from my life.

“Mrs. Richard, you're back!” Shouted my driver, who opened the front gate of Felix's house to greet me so warmly.

“Not Mrs. Richard. I'm Alice Jazellin.” I emphasized that I no longer had any relationship with Felix.

“What do you mean? Please don't go, ma'am. Mr. Felix will soon realize how much he loves you, Mrs. Alice.”

I gave my driver a small smile. I was glad that at least one person wanted me to be there. But after all, this was Felix's house.

“Why is it so quiet, sir? Where is Mr. Felix?” I asked.

The driver just bowed his head without answering. For that reason, I entered the house. And I found it beautifully decorated—with balloons, candles, flowers, and much more. In the middle of it all, Clara and Felix hugged each other, missing each other.

Of course, I was hurt to see the man I loved hugging his ex-girlfriend. But there was nothing I could do. Felix looked so happy, comfortable, and calm with Clara. I saw that this was the umpteenth time Felix had fallen in love with Clara.

With the same great love. Unbeatable.

I stayed in place, trying to remain calm, waiting for them to finish and only then talk to Felix. But no! The fact was that I couldn't see the two of them any longer, and I decided to leave without being seen by them.

“Sir, why didn't you tell me a Clara was in this house?” I was angry with my private driver.

“I don't know how to tell you, ma'am.”

“All right. I'm sorry for scolding you,” I said guiltily.

I took some money from my bag and Felix's divorce papers. I gave it all to the driver.

“Thank you for your good work, sir. Please give this letter to Mr. Felix,” I said and left.

I shouldn't have to think about my belongings at Felix's house if I knew I would only get more hurt when I met Felix, who could never escape Clara. I admit that they are a lover who are compatible. Their love is equal.

I gave Felix up for Clara, I swear. But I can never forgive what they have done to destroy my life.

Now, I have no one but myself. Even if I die, there will be no family to mourn for me. For my miscarriage alone, I mourned alone, and my baby's father went back to his ex-girlfriend. I would love to laugh at my unfortunate fate.

Beep... beep... beep...

My cell phone rang, and Felix's name was on the screen. I immediately answered the phone, curious what he wanted to say after days of not seeing me, not contacting me, not even knowing if I was still alive or not.

“Come home now!” his voice sounded commanding and firm.

I didn't answer immediately. Go home where? I don't have a place to live now, and I don't know where I'm going and what I will do in the future.

“Alice, do you hear me?” Felix began to raise his tone of voice.

“I'm on my way home,” I replied listlessly.

“Where are you going? I heard you went home, but go out again.”

“Can I ask you one last favor?” I ignored his question about my return.

I just stopped by earlier. I didn't go home because ever since I had the divorce papers in my hand, I had no place in the house or Felix's heart.

“What do you mean by last request?”

I was silent for a long time because my throat was choked. If I kept talking, my voice would sound trembling and sad. I didn't want Felix to know that I wasn't okay. Maybe he wouldn't care, but it's better to keep it that way than to ask about my situation after hearing my sad voice.

“Please sign the divorce papers that I left with the House Driver. Then, let's not contact each other and meet again,” I said finally.

There was silence for a moment. I didn't understand why Felix was silent after I had stated my wish. Either he didn't hear or was overjoyed that I had freed him from our friendship, brotherhood, and marriage. I released him from all his relationships with me.

“I don't want to,” Felix replied threateningly.

“Mr. Felix, I'm just asking for your signature.”

“I told you I don't want to!”

My steps stopped. "It's okay," I sighed.

The court has accepted my divorce lawsuit. Next is mediation and trial. And if Felix doesn't show up for those two things, it will be even easier for me to disappear from his life immediately. I'm not asking for anything from my divorce lawsuit. I want to let go.

“After I gave you everything, you want to leave?!” Felix shouted again from across. From his voice, he sounded like he had lost his temper.

“I didn't ask for it, Felix. You gave it to me.”

“Then you have to pay for everything. Don't expect to get away from me if you don't pay for it, Alice!”

My sadness grew.

The rain fell heavily, suddenly wetting the earth. The people passing by ran around looking for shade, but not with me. I let the rain wet my whole body, which was still petrified by what Felix had said. Not only could I not escape from Felix's life, but Felix also considered all his help a debt, and I knew it was not a small one.

I always refused his help; I just wanted to be with him because I felt safe. I didn't realize I depended on him for part of my life, but it was a form of security. I never wanted to rely on him or his family for my needs.

I never wanted to go to college, so I decided to work. But Felix convinced me not to think about any costs. I even quit my job after marrying him at his request.

From the speaker of my cell phone, which was still connected to Felix, I heard his lighthearted laughter.

“Give up, Alice, then come back here,” he said confidently that I would give up.

“Just tell me how much I have to pay. I'll pay it.” I doubt I can repay all my debts, but it's better than returning to him.

Felix's sigh was clear. He was probably calculating all my debts. I still have savings, although not much, and I can start working again. I don't know how long I will pay everything back, but I will try as hard as possible.

“It might be more than a million dollars, Alice. You won't have that kind of money in a week.” Felix mentioned the total.

“One week?”

“Yes. If you don't pay it within a week, I'm unsure what I can do either.”

No way. Even applying for a loan from the bank wouldn't be that quick. Yes, if the loan I applied for was accepted. The amount is too big for me, and I currently have nothing to offer as collateral.

“Give it a little longer, please,” I begged despairingly.

“You're the one who wants to leave me in a hurry, Alice.”

“But how could I earn that much in a week?”

“If you know that, why are you threatening me? Come back, and I won't bring up all my help. Oh, if you want to earn money quickly, you can become a paid prostitute for those rich men out there.”

The phone disconnected.

I dropped the cell phone, feeling so hurt by Felix's last sentence, which advised me to become a prostitute. I know myself, and I am not that low. I also never knew that Felix looked down on me so much that he didn't hesitate to say it.

My eyes were glazed as I stared at the street that was starting to empty of vehicles. The rain was still pouring down heavily, and my tears fell, covered by the rainwater that wet my face. But it wasn't sobs that came out of my mouth, but laughter so loud. My voice fought with the sound of rain splashing on the earth. My tears fell, but I laughed while beating my chest.

It felt like my whole life was falling apart; every part melted away.

I sat down and looked deep into the ground. How unfortunate I am. The person I love the most, the only person I rely on and give my whole life for him, hurts me deeply.

I took the small cutter I always carried everywhere in my bag, putting the sharpest part on my wrist. I lost my common sense. All I wanted was to get away from this cruel world, from the people who hurt me. I was desperate about everything, and my mind was stuck.

“Mr. Felix declared war. Why did you give up before attacking?”

Suddenly, someone snatched the cutter from my hand. And when I looked up to see who it was, it turned out to be a man in a very neat suit, holding a black umbrella and staring at me mockingly.

His face was familiar, but I didn't know who he was yet.

“Who are you?” I asked, wiping away my tears.

The man crouched to match my height as I sat on the ground. “Don't you remember me? I'm Philip John Charlos. The man that Mr. Felix Richard put in prison five years ago.” He introduced himself.

Ah, yes, I remember! This man before me is one of Felix's most hated business enemies. He was in prison because Felix reported him on charges of illegal arms smuggling. But three years later, I heard from the newspapers that Philip had escaped from his cell without a trace.

“I've heard about you being dumped by Mr. Felix.” Philip returned the cutter he took from me.

“Don't interfere!” I said bitterly.

“You had a miscarriage, lost your uterus, and Mr. Felix went back to his ex-girlfriend. I know everything.”

I was surprised by that. “Yes, he's a famous company owner. The news must have spread quickly.” I tried to look uninterested in him.

I decided to get up and leave. Not only did I not want to deal with Felix's friends, but I also didn't want to deal with Felix's enemies. Everything about Felix had nothing to do with me.

“You're so stupid to want to die on top of Mr. Felix's happiness.” Philip was still shouting at me as I walked away from him.

“When you could have taken revenge first, at least what happens to you and your death later wouldn't have been in vain, Alice.” He didn't give up and started to follow me.

“Revenge also has a cost. I don't have anything,” I replied.

“I'll help you.”

My steps stopped at the offer from Philip. I turned around and faced him directly. His slightly greenish eyes radiated a light of enthusiasm and seriousness about his words. Hey, is he proposing to be my friend? But I can't just trust a stranger.

“Why do you want to help me?” I asked, still suspicious.

“Mr. Felix threw me into the hell of prison. I will make him feel hell, too. And you, you are the person Mr. Felix hurt the most. Don't you want him to feel as much pain as you do?” he explained bluntly.

All his words were true. I'm stuck, and I could die at any moment. But it would be pointless to let Felix be happy while I suffered alone.

“I agree.” I reached out to shake his hand.

Yes, I will make hell for the two people who destroyed my life. Of course, I will pay off all my debts no matter what. It's not worth risking my life for Felix all this time. Even though Felix always helped me because he had wealth, it doesn't mean I didn't reply to help him.

But it's all a debt. If I had to pay for his help, Felix would have to pay for what he did to me.

This has just begun. Slowly but surely, I will lead Felix to the hell of the world!