"So, the best thing I could advise you is to live with Liam separately. You will not be safe if you are always with your husband, Kris. He should've been brought to a healthcare facility, so we can help him treat his disorder."

I clenched my trembling fist. Logan's suggestion was actually the one I should've done now. For Sarah and I's safety, the only thing that comes with my mind is to escape.

"Based on what I heard from you, one of the symptoms of DID is that he suddenly becomes a different person in front of you without any specific reason. It's because a person diagnosed with this kind of disorder tends to have over 100 alters in their personalities." Logan got his pen pointing to his temple, as if he's thinking something. "I need to see your husband by myself, Kris. It's not enough for me to know from you what he does or what happens to him day after day."

"I can see his symptoms, yes. But as a professional, I shouldn't diagnose a person having this kind of illness without checking him by myself."

"Looks like I'm going to have trouble with that part, Logan," I mumbled with honesty. "Even Mother Minda doesn't want to believe that my husband might have a mental disorder. And if I try to convince Liam to get checked up, I would just bait myself to get beaten by him again."

Liam's a health worker. And by attempting to tell him about my suspicions about his behavior I have noticed in him lately, he will surely be offended. After all, no one could ever accept the idea of ​​them... having mental disorder---if ever my husband really has.

"You must find a way, Kirsten. The welfare of your husband, yourself and your child depends on this. I have to check him up by myself just to make sure the symptoms really are related to DID. Because if that's the case... you need to keep yourself and your child away from him. That's the best thing you can do," he added.

"But I'm his wife," I protested, not even bothering to wipe the tears that escaped from my eyes. "I promised him in church that in sickness and in health, I will always be by his side. Through thickness and thinness, I will remain his wife."

"I'm fvcking tired of getting beaten by him, actually. There's no place for the wound anymore on my body because he's filled all the space. And there isn't a night that he doesn't succeed in making me cry before bed. Over a decade of marriage, or over the ten years I have shared with him my life on one roof, he has never made me feel loved, treasured and protected."

"What he felt and gave me was pure pain, sorrow, resentment and crying. His beautiful promises he had pledged to the Lord on the day of our wedding turned out to be the opposite of those." I was smiling the whole time while speaking bitterly. "Despite that, I still don't have enough reason to leave him. It's still not enough for me to abandon the promises I made to him in front of God. Promises are made to be fulfilled, not just for people to say something and to increase the promises that were broken."

"I am still Liam's wife. Sometimes I think of running away from the house or breaking up with him, but at the end of the day... I also suddenly realize that running away is not the answer to our current problem. Especially now that I know my husband needs me if ever his mental state is not okay. Instead of beating my hasty retreat from him, I should've stayed."

I closed my mouth to breathe a little while. "I will do my best to bring Liam to you. Even if it costs my life to suffer the hell out of him again, I will do just to bring him with you."

And I was about to leave his office when he spoke, "You deserve someone better, Kris. You can keep your promise to him. But, staying with a man who couldn't even love you from ten years of marriage is too much to sacrifice."

"Don't settle to be with a man who couldn't even treat you better, Kris."

I completely turned away from him but my legs stayed in place. "And my promise to him is to love him eternally. I promised to love him as long as my heart keeps beating, and as long as I'm still breathing. To the mountains and back, I shall love no one other than the man standing as my groom on our wedding day."

"It literally hurts to love him, but I will always be willing to endure the pain," my last words before leaving his office.

*****

Here I am again, having problems waiting for the taxi going home. It's still early, Liam is definitely not at home yet. As for weekdays, he always comes home late at night, so I don't have to worry. And I didn't bother to bring a car with me since Mother Minda just helped me run away from home earlier. The bodyguards don't know that I left the house... and I'm still hoping I won't get caught.

"Kris!"

I turned around when I heard Logan's voice. He ran up to me and handed me the handkerchief that I had left in his office.

"You forgot--"

"Why is my wife outside the house?" Logan didn't finish what he had to say when I saw my husband walking behind him, looking at Logan badly.

"Care to explain why you forbid me, wife?"

I was afraid to look away from Liam. Even though I couldn't see it, I knew that at this time, he was staring at me as well as Logan.

"I'm her friend--"

"I'm not talking to you." Liam walked towards me as he held my wrist harshly. "You owe me an explanation."

Logan's eyes showed a lot of concern for me but I just signaled him not to interfere. Even against my will, I let Liam pulled me inside his car.

And from his hold, I could sense another war was about to happen. The fire inside him began to burn... and a minute from now, I will, again, metamorphose into ashes.

"Tell me why?" Liam's deep and terrifying voice enveloped my body as my body shivered so hard while sitting at the edge of the bed. "What's your reason for leaving the house without my consent? I didn't fail to remind you, didn't I? I told you not to go outside, Kris! Is that too much to ask?"

I want to answer him yes. I want to voice out my feelings and I want to show him that he is exaggerating by locking me up here inside the hell he used to call a palace before. But I ended up saying, "I'm sorry."

Even though I don't see any reason for me to apologize, to cut this conversation short, I apologized.

"I'm sorry for breaking your rules, Liam."

"It's okay." Even though I was looking at the floor, I could clearly see from the floor the fall of the lab coat he had just taken off. "But, please..." And I don't really like what's about to happen tonight.

Liam pushed my shoulder lightly just to lay my body down on the bed. "I don't want the same thing to happen again, hmm? You know what I don't like is when you’re breaking my rules. I hate seeing you with another man, you know that. I don't care if that bastard was your college friend. I still cannot afford seeing you with that guy. I’m jealous.”

He's now on my top, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. "I could sense that guy likes you. It's obvious in his eyes that you're his type, Kris. That’s what I hate the most, you know me. What’s my property should stay mine. I don’t share you with anybody…”

"Because you're mine, Kris."

Now that he finished unbuttoning the polo shirt he was wearing up to his chin, he took it off completely to reveal his broad and built masculine body to me. I couldn't erase the fact that Liam made his body more beautiful because of his routine every weekend that he goes to the gym.

"I only have you and your body." He finally owned my lips after saying those words.

And I was like... answering his kiss emotionless. A few months passed when we last had sex because Liam was also very busy at work. I won't deny that I also missed us doing something that a couple does. But in the past years and with my experience of marriage with him, I'm no longer enjoying having sex with Liam.

His lips slowly traveled to my neck. His kiss was so irresistible and at the same time, it felt warm. And when he was lifting my blouse up, it was my hands that stopped him. I immediately lifted my top and took it off. Showing my body to him while wearing only my brassiere, the shape of his grin increased and he suddenly buried his face in my chest. Ugh! That was too fast.

I bite my lips, unbuttoning the piece of clothes left in my upper part. When I felt his tongue in my nipple, I couldn't breathe and my eyes were left closed.

"You're so good at doing that," I moaned.

It's tickling that what he's doing is making my vagina also wet, without realizing it, one of my hands hastily took off my underwear to finger myself while Liam is just busy doing his business with my breasts. And it was damn satisfying.

"You're too fast, wife--"

"Hold on."

I moved away from his face that was buried in my chest so that my eyes traveled to his pants. Shit. I've always wanted to feel that inside me. I'm getting impatient with how long Liam licks my nipple. I couldn't wait any longer!

"Enter me," I spoke as my eyes focused on his belt that I wanted to remove.

And his hands are now unraveling his sword. It's so slow that because I'm so bored, I help him take off his pants and undies, and I hold his dick. His dick that entered mine over several times.

"Coming in." At the same time, it finally entered my core.

Liam and I have done this many times... and I could say... he never gets tired of it. My vagina never gets tired of his bananas.

"Hmm..."

"Come on, don't be shy!"

I was just kidding him but Liam agreed. Ouch! My livid, livid body couldn't do anything but roll its eyes because of how satisfying I felt. It hurts but it's okay. He was riding me faster and faster until the pain I felt earlier when he hit me... was replaced by pleasure.

And he's fucking me with his hands still playing with my nipple. He licked my breast so deliciously that it shook one after the other because of the strength of his grind.

"The idea that I won't enjoy sharing temptations with you turned out to be just a piece of fiction," I whispered amidst my burning desire slowly eating my sanity.

"Kris..."

"Faster... Liam..."

"I'm about to explode..."

"No--"

"I mean it." And in just a snap, his juice exploded inside me. It was hot and sticky, so he made sure to take the pet out. "Are you okay--"

"Tired." I just lay on the bed and closed my eyes.

I didn't enjoy what we did, actually. Besides the fact that I was hooked... the idea that I made him fuck me because of me... longing for sex. I also have needs as a woman... and just now that was given to me again.

"I hope we can create something by this time," I heard him whisper.

I really hope so. Maybe Liam will come back to his senses when we have our own child.

Crazy as it may sound, I'm still hoping his condition will get better once a baby comes into our life. Maybe there is still a chance that he will be a good husband to me if that happens. Because Liam started to be a monster in my eyes right after we found out that I... have no capacity to carry a child.

A week of no good communication with Liam because of his tight schedule, and here he is... just freaking out to stop me from having coffee.

"No, Kirsten! Don't drink that!" Liam ran up to me to grab the coffee that Mother Minda just brought me here in the garden area.

"Are you also forbidding me to drink coffee?" I asked calmly. I don't want to fight with him now... I'm not ready to get my body hurt.

He violently grabbed the coffee cup and threw it on the grass. At the same time, I saw behind Liam that his two bodyguards were holding Mother Minda.

Liam was about to turn his back to me when I stopped him. "What's going on? Where are you taking Mother Minda?!"

"In the place where she belongs." To my surprise, he brought his face to me with a bad expression. "There is no problem with you, Kris. The doctor's diagnosis of your womb’s inability to get pregnant was not true."

"H-How? H-How did you say that? You're a doctor, Liam! Doctors can't make mistakes in diagnosing--"

"That old woman confessed to me!" And his finger was pointing in Mother Minda's direction. "I caught her in action. She put some medicine in the coffee you were drinking. And I forced her to tell the truth."

Almost all parts of my body are shaking badly, and I still have the courage to speak. "W-What?"

"She puts abortion pills in your coffee, Kris. Do you remember when you took a positive pregnancy test?"

I nodded. Of course, I remember that. It was one of the happiest days in my life when I found out I was pregnant.

"She mixed the abortion pills you took that day, so you bled so badly. And that's also why the doctor said that the child's attachment to your womb was not strong. It was really not the idea that you can’t carry a child..."

"Because that witch manipulates us."

I was just looking at that old woman who I treasured the most for the past years and served as my mother while living in this house. She's the one I always vented my anger on every time Liam would beat me like a ramshackle piece of toy.

"Mom..." I made my walk towards her direction with my eyes shedding tears for being betrayed by her. "I won't believe in him. You know how I hate him, hmm?" I only whispered just to make sure Liam won't have heard. "I won't believe you really did it unless you confessed. I know you can't do that--"

"Forgive me, dear," and Mother Minda's answer broke my broken heart. "You will also understand my reason why I did that--"

"Then, what's your reason?! Why don't you tell me now?" I felt Liam getting closer to me and he slightly pulled me away from Mother Minda. "I trusted you! I even considered you my mother because of how lighthearted I am towards you and how kind you are to me. Is that all just showing off?! You pretend to be nice to me but you're also one of those demons living in this hell?!"

"How could you do that?! Are you still human? Don't you even feel guilty for what you do? You know that Liam and I want to have children. We have suffered for a long time for a lie that I am the one with the problem so far we have no children!"

"Kris, come in. Get some rest--"

"I hope you carry your sin to hell! You just killed my son, oh! You made me look like a useless wife to Liam because I couldn't give him a son!"

"And now... you're planning to kill my son again now that you know something happened to us? You're an old beast! I can't forgive you no matter what reason you have for doing this to us!"

"Bring her inside."

"No, Liam! I'm not done with that--" My line was cut short by an injection calming myself down. My body suddenly went weak because one of Liam's bodyguards injected me with some pill... and afterwards, everything went black.

*****

The worst effect of the medicine that was injected into me, I might say. It was late at night when I woke up from my deep sleep. And if it wasn't because of Sarah's loud and continuous sobs, I wouldn't wake up. I went downstairs to see the reason why she's crying, and...

"Mom!" I ran over to Sarah and helped her stand up from her kneeling in a basin full of legumes. "What do you think you're doing, mom? Why are you making my daughter kneel on the legume?"

"Not your business anymore."

She turned her back on me when this time, I couldn't control myself to raise my voice at her.

"She's my daughter. Of course she's part of my business!"

"She's not your flesh... nor my son's. I don't have a grandchild as stupid as that girl." Without wasting her time to face me, she replied and afterwards, she went to the second floor.

Even if I want to let myself cry because of her insult to Sarah, I know I shouldn't. I have to be strong for my daughter.

"I'm sorry, mommy..." Sarah pleaded with her tears streaming down her cheeks. "I did my best to get a perfect score in my exam today. I reviewed all night and tried to memorize all the terms I put in the notes."

"But... I still haven't perfected it. I still have two items that haven't been corrected. I'm sorry, mommy!" She cried and came to me and hugged me.

I never dreamed of raising my own child to be grade conscious. I don't want to pressure her in her studies and always instill in her brain that she is not allowed to get an imperfect score and grades of at least 95. Although Sarah is not my real daughter, I love her very much and I am proud of her as her mother. She didn't have to finish her school as the valedictorian of her batch just so I could be proud of her.

There is nothing wrong with her. Nothing is missing. The only thing wrong in her life was when she ended up in our family... in Liam's family who had very high expectations for her. That's why my daughter is having a hard time coping up with her grandma's huge expectations... that even if I disobey her to stay up at night with her school, she still continues.

"Get rest, baby. Get some sleep, okay?"

"But I have to study, mommy. I have an exam tomorrow. I have to make up for Grandma and also have good news to tell Daddy."

She struggled to get up from the bed and then she proceeded to her study table, she opened her notes and started reading. Although she's not feeling well because she's still moaning about the painful knee she just knelt on the legume, she still forced herself to study. And as her mother, it's annoying that I can't do anything to free Sarah from this kind of life. She's too young to suffer this kind of life. She should've enjoyed her youth, she didn't burn her eyebrows too early.

When I finally got out of the room, I was planning to talk with my mother-in-law, only to find that my stomach suddenly felt sick. I was feeling like vomiting. I ran into the bathroom here on the first floor and threw up.

"This kind of feeling was familiar..."

Even though I was nervous, I immediately went to my room and took my PT from there. I immediately entered the bathroom and then tested myself if my heart was beating right at this moment. I waited a few seconds and when I was sure I was ready to look at the pregnancy test... I took a look at it.

And I saw two lines.

"I..." I had tears in my mouth. "I'm p-pregnant..."

This is my second time having butterflies in my stomach for receiving good news from heaven. I just hope this time... nothing bad happens. I can't afford to lose a child in my womb for the second time... for Pete's sake.