F A R A H

It’s almost a week now since my encounter with Jawad I didn't hear from him, his mom used to call mom so we get in touch

Preparation for the wedding is taking place at both houses. Mom had been busy with the preparation and Yasmin is also preparing for her exam. I'm sitting on my desk working on my laptop when precious tap me on the shoulder.

“Have you heard about the news?” she whispered looking around the surrounding.

“What news?” I asked furrowing my brows.

“We're getting a new boss” she chuckled as if it's something to be excited about.

“Oh that's good” I fake a smile. My boss and also my husband to be.

“I hope he's not like the previous boss” she spat. he's far more like the previous one.

Just when we were in the middle of our talk a man walked pass us, dressed in a suit, his hands stuffed in his pocket, my gaze wandered to his face, he has light brown eyes, with a beard, he has a curl black hair. That person is none other than Jawad. I won't lie, the guy is indeed handsome.  I was busy admiring his face I didn't notice precious calling my name

“Oh Farah, I've been calling you since what are you thinking about”  “You better start walking to his office” she pointed to the office door.

“Now?” I asked

“What do you mean, you're still the secretary, you better hurry up” she pushed me toward the door.  I almost tripped.

“Come in” his voice spoke. I entered closing the door behind me; I felt my heart speeding up.

“Good morning sir, here's your schedule” I pressed my lips in a thin line. The moment our eyes met, I felt uneasy.

“Tell the rest of the staff to gather at the conference room, I will be there in thirty minutes.” He spoke without even sparing me a glance.

“Okay sir” I was about to leave when he spoke again.

“And I need a hot coffee, make it with little sugar” I close my eyes to calm myself. I walked out of his office and close the door behind me. He acts as if he doesn’t know me. Ya Allah!  announcing to everybody about the meeting, I made the hot coffee for boss Jawad.

“Here is your coffee sir” taking the cup to his lips, he took a sip and his expression changed immediately.

“What's this? I clearly told you little sugar, but you put in too much sugar” he shouted gritting his teeth.

“Sorry sir, I will make another one”

“Better, I give you 5mins to bring me my coffee” with that he shot me an angry look and dismiss me. I made another coffee making sure the sugar is not too much.

“Here is the coffee sir” placing it on his desk,

“Is everyone in the conference room?” he inquired glancing at his watch.

“Yes sir”

The conference room was filled to the brim, all waiting for the boss to arrive. Earlier event flashed through my mind I made another coffee but he didn't even drink it. An annoyed smile made it way out of my lips, I'm being calm because it's my job if not I would have given him a piece of my mind, we are not yet married and he's ordering me around. The  Sound of footsteps emerged and the door flung revealing a hard face Jawad. Without much greetings, he started talking about the sole reason for the meeting.

“As you have been informed, I will be taking over the position of the previous President, so there would be few changes” everyone's attention is on now on him.

“I want everyone to be serious with his/her work, if I find some lazy person misbehaving I won't hesitate to fire him/her” he explained the frown not leaving his hard face.

“I have already checked your profiles and I will assign you according to your background. As for the secretary, you will stay in your position, before I find a new secretary. I  hope you all understood”

“I will take that as a yes, so that's the end of today's meeting” he added getting silence in return. He left leaving everyone in total silence. I followed behind him, upon opening the door,  he's nowhere to be found again and his next meeting is in 1hour. I'm exhausted from going in and out of his office, so I dialed his office number.

“Hello, Sir you have a meeting with Mr. Anthony in one hour” before I could say another word he hung up.   I don't know why he gets angry so easily, he wasn't like this when he came to our house what has changed. I hope our marriage is not the sole reason for his arrogance towards me.

                            •••

I performed my salah, after taking a warm shower to calm my nerves changing into my nighties. After going up and down with my boss today its feels like I've carried a load of books. I lay on my back when Yasmin entered chewing on something.

“Come here Yasmin, please massage my legs” I ushered. slumping down on the bed, she started massaging my legs.

“Sis Farah, did you carry a load of blocks at work,” she asked.

“Oh no...Yasmin, working as a secretary is very hard” I muttered, remembering how I used to work tirelessly.

“Oh right, Jawad called on your phone, that time you were in the bathroom” her statement surprised me. I sat up quickly.

“So what did you tell him?” I asked curiously.

“I told him you're sleeping; I don't want to tell him you're in the bathroom” she stated calmly.

“Thank you, Yasmin, you're the best sis in the world” I pinch her cheeks playfully resulting her to let out a hiss. she hates it when I pinch her cheeks.

“Here's your food, since you're tired no need to come down I've told mom already,” she said pushing herself off the bed.

“Goodnight sis”

“Goodnight Yasmin, thank you”

“Don't mention what sisters are for” Making sure she left, I took my phone and checked the call logs. He did call. What does he want? should I call back or not?

F A R A H

I was busy with my thought when I heard the ping on my phone. Which is a  message from Jawad.

Mom is picking you up tomorrow to shop for the wedding dress. The way he wrote the wedding dress with exclamation mark made me think otherwise.

I replied with an 'Okay' keeping my phone on the nightstand making sure it's in silent mode and lay on my bed, before I know it, I fell into a deep slumber.

                            •••

I was working on some files that needed to be printed out when I heard the landline phone ringing.

“Hello” I answered politely.

“Where are the files I asked you to bring” Jawad spoke in a low tone, the way he speaks tells me he's not in a good mood.

“I'm sorry sir, I will bring it right aw...” he didn't even let me finish and he hung up what's this supposed to mean. We are not even married but he's showing his true self. Ya Allah help me! I prayed.

I gathered the files from my desk drawer and quickly made my way to his office. knocking on it, I heard him say 'come in'. Before entering I mouthed hasbunallahu wa ni'imal wakil and breath in and out to keep me calm. I opened the door and entered.

“Here are the files sir,” I said in a low voice, keeping the files on his desk after I notice he didn't even glance at me. I was about to leave when he finally opened his mouth.

“Mom is coming by 2 O'Clock, you can leave early” he lifted his face and our eyes met. I quickly avert my gaze.

“Okay,” I answered. I left his office hurriedly closing the door behind me.

I don't know why Aunt Khadija did not call me herself.

I checked my phone and it is 1:00 o'clock I have one hour to get back home and get ready; I don't want to keep Aunt Khadija waiting. 

As I reached home, I greeted my mom by kissing her in the cheeks.

“Farah what time is Aunt Khadija picking you up,” she asked. so she also knew.

“She's coming by 2:00 o'clock” I shouted, I was already halfway to my room.

I took a warm shower, it has become my habit whenever I came back from work the first thing I do is to take a shower. I perform my wudhu and prayed Zuhr.

wearing a polka dot blouse, I tied my hair in a bun and place on my black scarf. Taking my phone and purse, I rushed down. I checked the time 5 mins to 2 o'clock she will be here anytime now. I didn't finish closing my thoughts when the doorbell rang.

“It must be Khadija,” Mom said while peeling Apples.

“Yes, I will get the door” I walked toward the door; opening it revealing Aunt Khadija, wearing a lovely dress and with a floral scarf wrapped on her hair.

“Assalamu Alaikum Aunt Khadija”

“Wa alaiki Salam Farah” she embraces me in a hug, aunt Khadija is a kind-hearted woman. The moment they saw each other with mom, their face lit up with happiness. They embraced each other in a hug. After chatting for a while about the wedding preparation we decided to leave.

“Okay Farah, let's get going the driver is waiting outside,” she said.

“Take care, I know if Yasmin comes back she will throw a tantrum that you didn't take her with you” Mom interjected. We both laugh.

Our car came to a halt in front of a big shop. Upon entering the shop, my mouth hung open seeing how the shop is filled with beautiful wedding dresses. A lady approached us.

“Assalamu Alaikum Mrs. Abdallah,” the lady said. she knows  Aunt, which means Aunt is a Customer here.

“Wa Alaikum Salam Fadila, we are here for the dresses”

“Okay Ma'am Follow me” the lady called Fadila said. She leads us to a room where VIP was written boldly on the top.

Fadila brought many dresses which I can't even count t

“Farah try these ones let's see which one will fit,” Aunt Khadija said.

I tried almost all the clothes, With Aunt not liking them. After much digging, we finally choose some.

“Let's choose this for the Walima” Aunt declared, eyeing the ash Abaya with emerald stones design at the front while the back has a small bow tie around the waist area.

“Masha Allah this will fit perfectly” Fadila chirped in.

“We will take those Fadila” aunt announced pointing at a pile of dresses of different designs laid on the Sofa.

After going around shopping at numerous shops we decided to feed our stomach, stopping at a restaurant.  Aunt said we should order take out, the moment we went back to the car I started digging in, I completely forgot about mother-in-law that is sitting beside me because I was very hungry food is life. You can't do without food.

Around 6:00 we finally drove back to my house the driver helped me with the bags, I bid aunt Khadija goodbye.

“Goodnight Farah extends my greeting to your Mom, I can't go in as it's getting late already”

“Insha Allah”

I entered the house spotting my mom sitting in the living room holding a cup h while Yasmin is sitting beside her.

“Mom I'm back” I announced

“Welcome back, Yasmin go and help your sister with the bags” the way Yasmin was frowning her face tells me she's angry we didn't take her along.

“I can't wait for the day sis Farah, In less than five days you will be married” it’s very easy to calm Yasmin I changed her mood from frowning to smiling I will surely miss my little sister. Just the thought of living my house made my body weak.

“Are you that eager to see me get married?” I asked after we kept the shopping bag aside.

“It's not like that, I'm just happy,” she explained. I could see her expression it's like she's holding back herself.

“You know, I'm not leaving you and Mom forever, we will still be getting in touch.” I reached for her hands, squeezing them.

“I know, I will surely miss you sis Farah” a lone tear fell from her eyes. knowing how my little sister is, she can't hold on for too long. pulling her In for a hug, I rub circle on her back.

“I will miss you too, and Mom too”

•••

F A R A H

I can't believe I'm getting married today, it feels so surreal. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, dressed in the Ash Abaya, my face decorated with makeup, with henna on my both hands. I touched the gold bangles on my hands Mom gave me that papa has been keeping it for my marriage. I look totally different. A small drop of tear roll down my cheeks I wish papa was alive to witness this day, to see his daughter getting married.

The door flung open revealing my Mom dressed in her beautiful purple Camisole gown. I wiped off the tear not wanting to spoil my mom's mood she's very happy about the marriage. She trekked towards me, with a smile on her face.

“My daughter you look beautiful, I know if your papa was still alive he will be happy too” the tears I've been holding escaped.

“No Farah, don't... It will ruin your makeup” mom said wiping off the tear with her palms. I can't help it.

“I will miss you” she added.

“I will miss you too Mom” just then Yasmin came in clearing her throat.

“Okay, enough with the crying, the guests are waiting for the bride,” Yasmin said happily. I suddenly felt nervous

“Let me go, you come together with Yasmin,” Mom said and she went out leaving us two.

“Sis Farah, you look so beautiful, if Jawad sees you he won't take his eyes off you” she chuckled if only what she said will be true.

We descended down, Yasmin holding me by my arm. My heart is suddenly beating faster. I heard the sound of people muttering 'Masha Allah' my head is down all through. I'm damn nervous. I sat beside Jawad who is looking very handsome, as I watch him my heart skip a bit because of the way he looks at me, I can't read the expression on his face.

“So let's start,” the imam said bringing us out of our trance.

After signing the marriage certificate the imam pronounced us husband and wife. Now I will live with Jawad for the rest of my life.

                             •••

“Come on Farah, don't act like a kid, you're now a married woman” I held her tightly. My makeup is now ruined with too much crying. I don't want to leave my Mom. Holding my face, she kissed my forehead.

“My baby don't cry, it's not like you're leaving us forever, in fact I know Khadija will take care of you like her daughter. So I want you to stop crying” mom said fake frowning, I know she's holding back her tears too, she's just pretending.

After Mother and daughter bonding, we drove off, now I'm left with Jawad. I broke into another sob remembering how I left my family. Before we left I saw a drop of tears on Mom's face I know she's holding it in. As for Yasmin, we cried in each other's arms not wanting to let go. I'm going to miss my family.

Throughout the drive, Jawad didn't even glance at my direction. I know he's also being forced but he should at least show some respect. I wiped away the tears it’s of no use now.

As we enter the massive mansion we were greeted with the presence of the family, Aunt Khadija embraces me in a motherly hug.

“You look beautiful Farah” aunt said touching my cheeks

“Thank you” I muttered, not having more strength in my body.

After passing through all the welcoming things from the Jawad family, I was taken to my room or should I say our room.

My eyes linger at the big king size bed now I will be sharing a room with Jawad and that the same bed, just me and him. The thought made a shiver ran down my spine.

I sat quietly on the bed contemplating on what to do next, since the time we came I didn't see Jawad again Allah knows where he went off to.

I was deep in my thought when I heard the sound of footsteps, I tried holding in my beating heart. He marched to the closet and took out some blanket.  What is he using the blanket for? My inner mind asked. He dropped it on the floor.

“You should sleep on the couch because I don't share my bed,” he said emotionless. What is this supposed to mean?  I was just about to speak when he cut me off.

“And before you ask any further question let me make something clear for you, this marriage is absolutely nothing to me, In fact, I agreed to this marriage because of my own reason, so don't give your hopes high about this marriage” he spat. my body went weak hearing his statement.

Marching to the closet again, he took out some clothes and head to the bathroom. He was about to enter then stopped.

“Oh and make sure this conversation stays between me and you, if you don't want to get yourself into trouble”  with that he entered the bathroom closing the doors.

My body went completely weak, I don't know what to think, a painful tear escapes me ya Allah what just happened. So this is what he meant at that time when he told me I will know him when we get married. All the smiles are fake.

It was supposed to be a night filled with happiness and peace but it seems I thought too highly about this marriage.  Ya Allah.

I don't know for how long I sat there, totally shocked. Many thoughts were running inside my mind. I turned at the bathroom door being opened. He was now dressed into a shirt and jeans, he didn't cast a single look in my direction. Slouching himself on the king-sized bed, which is too big for him, he switched off the light not minding that I'm in the room.

I managed to get myself off the couch, taking my Nighties, I trekked quietly to the bathroom, glancing at him through my left eyes. I don't know if he's really sleeping or pretending to.

I changed out of my clothes, and did wudhu and prayed two Raka'at. Ya Allah, whatever hardship I'm going to encounter in this marriage make it easier for me.

   •••