Chapter 4

"Can't sleep?"

Lila stepped onto the porch.

"Apparently not."

Ryder glanced at the empty chair beside him.

"Join the club."

Lila sat down.

The night air was cool against her skin.

For a few moments, neither of them spoke.

The town was quiet.

Most of the houses nearby were dark.

Only the distant sound of crickets filled the silence.

Lila wrapped both hands around her glass of water.

Beside her, Ryder leaned back in his chair.

The orange glow of his cigarette briefly lit his face before fading again.

"Those things are going to kill you someday," Lila said.

Ryder looked down at the cigarette.

"Probably."

"And you're okay with that?"

"No."

"Then why smoke?"

He shrugged.

"Bad habit."

"That's a terrible excuse."

"It's the only one I've got."

Lila shook her head.

"You're impossible."

"So I've been told."

A small smile tugged at her lips.

For some reason, talking to him felt easier tonight.

Maybe because there was no audience.

No Ethan.

No Rebecca.

No group of friends talking over each other.

Just the two of them.

The way it had never been before.

"You know," she said, "you never actually fixed my finger."

Ryder frowned.

"My what?"

"The fence."

His expression remained blank for two seconds.

Then understanding appeared.

"The mango tree."

"The mango tree."

A laugh escaped him.

"I forgot about that."

"I didn't."

"You cried for almost an hour."

"It hurt."

"It was a scratch."

"It was a serious injury."

"It was absolutely not a serious injury."

Lila tried to look offended.

Failed.

And started laughing.

Ryder laughed too.

The sound was softer than usual.

Less guarded.

The moment surprised her.

For years she had imagined what it would be like to spend time alone with him.

Now that it was happening, it felt strangely normal.

Comfortable.

Not magical.

Not dramatic.

Just nice.

The realization somehow made it even more dangerous.

"How's college?" Ryder asked suddenly.

Lila blinked.

"Good."

"Good?"

"You sound disappointed."

"I expected a longer answer."

"You asked a short question."

"Fair point."

He leaned back again.

"So?"

Lila smiled.

"So what?"

"Tell me something."

She considered it.

Then began talking.

About her classes.

About the friends she had made.

About the professor who seemed to enjoy giving impossible assignments.

To her surprise, Ryder actually listened.

Not the distracted kind of listening most people did.

Real listening.

The kind that made her feel like her words mattered.

When she finally stopped talking, she realized something.

She knew almost nothing about the last two years of his life.

"You never told anyone where you went."

Ryder's gaze shifted toward the darkness beyond the yard.

"I left."

"That's not an answer."

"It wasn't supposed to be."

Lila studied him quietly.

Something changed.

Only slightly.

The easy mood from before seemed to fade.

Not completely.

Just enough for her to notice.

"You don't like talking about it."

"No."

The answer was immediate.

Simple.

Final.

Lila nodded.

She could tell when a door was closed.

So she didn't push.

Instead, she looked up at the stars.

The silence returned.

Not uncomfortable.

Just thoughtful.

A few minutes later, the back door opened.

Both of them turned.

Ethan stepped outside.

His hair looked like he had lost a fight with a tornado.

He stopped when he saw them.

Then narrowed his eyes.

"What are you two doing?"

Lila laughed.

"Existing."

"At midnight?"

"It's not midnight."

"It feels like midnight."

Ethan pointed at Ryder.

"Why are you awake?"

Ryder gestured toward the cigarette.

"Making good life choices."

"Clearly."

Then Ethan pointed at Lila.

"And you?"

"I couldn't sleep."

Ethan looked between them.

His suspicion was so obvious that both of them started laughing.

"What?" Ethan demanded.

"Nothing," Lila said.

"You're both weird."

"You say that every day."

"Because it's true."

A few minutes later, Ethan disappeared back inside.

The moment the door closed behind him, Lila and Ryder laughed again.

"He's ridiculous," she said.

"You're just figuring that out now?"

The conversation lasted another twenty minutes before they finally headed inside.

For the first time in days, Lila fell asleep smiling.

---

The next morning began with shouting.

Lila walked downstairs to find Ethan standing in the kitchen.

"I need help."

"No," Ryder said immediately.

"You don't even know what I need."

"I know enough."

Ethan ignored him and looked at Lila.

"You too."

Lila groaned.

"Why?"

"Because I asked nicely."

"You didn't."

"I was about to."

Ryder grabbed a piece of toast.

"This should be interesting."

Half an hour later, the three of them were heading into town.

Lila still wasn't entirely sure why she had agreed.

Something about picking up supplies.

Something about helping load things.

Most of Ethan's explanations stopped making sense after the first five minutes.

The afternoon passed surprisingly quickly.

They visited several stores.

Ethan complained constantly.

Ryder mocked him constantly.

And somehow, Lila found herself laughing more than she had in weeks.

For the first time, she wasn't watching Ryder from across a room.

She was actually spending time with him.

Getting to know him.

Not the bad boy everyone talked about.

The real person underneath.

As the sun began to set, they started walking back toward the truck.

Ethan had gone ahead to return a cart.

Lila followed a few steps behind.

Distracted.

Not paying attention.

Her sandal caught on a crack in the pavement.

The world tilted.

A startled gasp escaped her.

Then a hand closed around her arm.

Firm.

Steady.

Stopping her before she could fall.

Lila froze.

So did Ryder.

For one brief second, neither moved.

His hand remained around her arm.

Her heartbeat stumbled.

Then Ryder released her immediately.

"You okay?"

His voice sounded normal.

Completely normal.

As if nothing had happened.

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

She nodded.

Ryder studied her for a moment.

Then stepped back.

The little girl he remembered would have been crying by now.

The thought appeared unexpectedly.

And for some reason, it made him pause.

Because somewhere along the way, Ethan's little sister had grown up.

And he was only just beginning to notice.

The thought stayed with him all the way home.

Chapter 5

Lila woke up smiling.

The moment she realized it, she buried her face in her pillow.

"This is embarrassing," she muttered.

Unfortunately, it was true.

Ever since the trip into town yesterday, she had been replaying certain moments in her head.

Not because anything special had happened.

Nothing special had happened.

At least, that was what she kept telling herself.

Ryder had caught her when she almost fell.

That was it.

A normal thing.

A decent thing.

The kind of thing anyone would have done.

So why did she keep thinking about it?

With a groan, she sat up.

The answer was obvious.

Because it was Ryder.

And that was exactly the problem.

Half an hour later, she made her way downstairs.

The smell of coffee greeted her immediately.

The kitchen was already occupied.

Of course it was.

Ryder sat at the counter eating cereal.

Her cereal.

Lila stopped in the doorway.

"Are you serious?"

Ryder glanced up.

"Morning, Princess."

"That's my cereal."

"No, it's my cereal now."

She walked over and grabbed the box.

"You didn't buy this."

"You didn't label it."

"Who labels cereal?"

"People who live with thieves."

Ryder laughed.

The sound was annoyingly attractive.

Lila hated that.

Ethan entered the kitchen at that exact moment.

One look at the cereal box between them and he sighed.

"You're fighting over breakfast?"

"He's stealing."

"I'm surviving."

"You're impossible."

"So I've been told."

Ethan poured himself coffee.

"You two sound like an old married couple."

Lila nearly dropped the cereal.

Ryder choked on his coffee.

Ethan immediately looked pleased with himself.

"Oh, that's funny."

"Shut up, Ethan."

"Didn't say anything."

"You literally just said something."

"I regret nothing."

The rest of breakfast passed in the usual chaos.

By the end of it, Lila found herself laughing despite her best efforts.

Which was becoming a dangerous habit.

Because every day Ryder spent in the house felt easier than the day before.

And that was not good.

Not for her heart.

---

The afternoon sun hung high in the sky.

Most of Ethan's friends had wandered over again.

Apparently their backyard had become the unofficial meeting place for half the town.

Lila sat beneath the shade of the large oak tree near the fence.

A book rested in her lap.

Unfortunately, she had been staring at the same page for ten minutes.

Her eyes kept drifting toward the patio.

Toward Ryder.

He was sitting with Ethan and a few others.

Laughing.

Talking.

Looking completely at home.

The strange thing was how natural it felt.

As though he had never left.

As though the last two years had never happened.

A familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.

"You're staring."

Lila jumped.

Rebecca dropped into the empty chair beside her.

"I am not."

"You absolutely are."

"I was reading."

Rebecca looked at the unopened page.

"Sure."

Lila narrowed her eyes.

Rebecca laughed.

Today, Rebecca looked stunning.

A fitted yellow sundress hugged her figure perfectly.

Her blonde hair was pulled into a loose ponytail.

As always, she carried herself with effortless confidence.

People noticed Rebecca when she entered a room.

They always had.

Lila glanced away.

"Why are you here?"

Rebecca gasped dramatically.

"Wow."

"I wasn't trying to be rude, i just asked."

"I came to see my friends."

Lila followed Rebecca's gaze.

Straight toward Ryder.

"Right."

Rebecca smiled.

"What was that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Alright."

Before Lila could answer, Ethan called Rebecca's name.

Rebecca stood.

"That's my cue."

Then she headed directly toward Ryder.

Lila watched her go.

Watched Rebecca slide effortlessly into the conversation.

Watched everyone make room for her.

Watched Ryder smile when she said something.

The uncomfortable feeling in Lila's chest returned.

It wasn't fair.

Rebecca hadn't done anything wrong.

Neither had Ryder.

But every time they stood beside each other, they looked like they belonged.

And Lila hated herself for noticing.

---

The evening passed quickly.

Music played.

People came and went.

Food disappeared.

Laughter filled the backyard.

For everyone else, it was a normal summer evening.

For Lila, it felt strangely exhausting.

By the time the last guests started leaving, she was relieved.

Rebecca was one of the last people still there.

She and Ryder stood near the gate talking quietly.

Lila looked away before she could hear what they were saying.

It wasn't her business.

She repeated that several times.

It still didn't help.

Eventually, she escaped upstairs.

A shower helped.

A movie helped.

For a little while, she managed not to think about Ryder at all.

That lasted approximately twenty minutes.

By ten o'clock, the house had finally fallen silent.

Ethan had gone to bed.

The lights downstairs were mostly off.

Everything felt peaceful.

Lila curled beneath her blanket and opened her book.

A chapter later, she realized she was thirsty.

With a sigh, she climbed out of bed.

The hallway was quiet.

The stairs creaked softly beneath her feet.

She headed toward the kitchen.

The closer she got, the more she realized she wasn't alone.

Voices drifted through the darkness.

One of them belonged to Rebecca.

Lila slowed.

Confused.

She thought Rebecca had gone home.

The second voice belonged to Ryder.

Her stomach tightened slightly.

They were probably saying goodbye.

That was all.

Nothing unusual.

Nothing important.

Lila stepped into the kitchen.

And froze.

Rebecca was standing very close to Ryder.

Much closer than before.

For a second, Lila couldn't understand what she was seeing.

Then Rebecca lifted her hand.

Touched Ryder's jaw.

And kissed him.

Lila's breath caught.

The world seemed to stop.

Everything became strangely quiet.

Strangely distant.

Rebecca was kissing Ryder.

And Ryder wasn't pulling away.

He wasn't stopping her.

He wasn't stepping back.

He was kissing her back.

The glass slipped from Lila's fingers.

The sharp sound shattered the silence.

Ryder's head snapped up.

Their eyes met.

And in that single horrible second, Lila knew.

Her heart had just broken right in front of him.

The sound of breaking glass seemed to echo through the kitchen.

For a moment, nobody moved.

Lila stood frozen near the doorway.

Rebecca's hand dropped from Ryder's shoulder.

Ryder turned.

The moment he saw Lila, his expression changed.

"Lila—"

"I'm sorry."

The words left her mouth before she could stop them.

She wasn't even sure what she was apologizing for.

For dropping the glass.

For walking in.

For seeing something she wished she hadn't.

Without waiting for anyone to answer, she turned and walked away.

"Lila," Ryder called.

She kept walking.

Behind her, she heard Ethan's voice from the living room.

"What happened?"

Rebecca answered first.

"Nothing."

Lila climbed the stairs quickly.

She didn't look back.

She didn't want to see Ryder.

Not right now.

Not after that.

By the time she reached her room, her chest felt tight.

She closed the door and leaned against it.

The house suddenly felt too small.

Too crowded.

Too full of memories she didn't want.

A few minutes later, there was a knock.

"Lila."

Ryder.

She closed her eyes.

Another knock followed.

"Can we talk?"

She stayed silent.

The knocking stopped.

She listened to his footsteps move away.

Then she sat on the edge of her bed.

The room was quiet.

Unfortunately, her thoughts weren't.

Every memory seemed determined to come back at once.

The little girl who used to wait for Ryder to visit.

The teenager who secretly watched for his motorcycle.

The excitement she felt when he returned.

The trip to town.

The teasing.

The cereal arguments.

The way she kept convincing herself that maybe something was changing.

Maybe he was starting to see her differently.

Maybe—

Lila let out a small laugh.

A sad one.

Nothing had changed.

Ryder was still Ryder.

And she was still the girl carrying feelings he knew nothing about.

That realization hurt more than the kiss.

Because the kiss had only shown her the truth.

The next morning, she woke up exhausted.

She hadn't slept much.

When she finally went downstairs, Ethan was already in the kitchen.

Ryder sat across from him.

The sight of him immediately brought back last night.

Lila forced herself to keep walking.

"Morning," Ethan said.

"Morning."

She opened the refrigerator and focused on finding something to drink.

Anything to avoid looking at Ryder.

The silence didn't last long.

Ethan frowned.

"Why does it feel like somebody died in here?"

Lila almost laughed.

Almost.

"I'm just tired."

Ethan pointed at Ryder.

"And you?"

Ryder shrugged.

"Ask her."

Lila immediately looked away.

Ethan stared between them.

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing," both of them said at the same time.

Ethan groaned.

"You two are annoying."

A few minutes later, he left for work.

The moment the front door closed, the kitchen felt different.

Quieter.

Lila grabbed her glass.

"I should go."

"Lila."

She stopped.

Not because she wanted to.

Because hearing him say her name still affected her.

"What?"

Ryder stood.

His expression wasn't playful today.

No teasing.

No smile.

Just concern.

"Can we talk?"

"About what?"

"You know what."

"No, I don't."

He studied her face.

"Lila."

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

That irritated her more than it should have.

"I'm fine, Ryder."

He looked like he wanted to say more.

Instead, he nodded once.

"Okay."

Lila left before he could continue.

The rest of the day passed slowly.

She spent most of it avoiding everyone.

By afternoon, she was sitting alone on the back porch when she heard footsteps.

Rebecca appeared carrying two bottles of water.

Without asking permission, she sat beside her.

For a while, neither of them spoke.

Then Rebecca handed her a bottle.

Lila accepted it quietly.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Another silence followed.

Rebecca stared out into the yard.

Then she sighed.

"Can I ask you something?"

Lila looked over.

"Sure."

Rebecca hesitated.

"Are you in love with Ryder?"

Lila's heart stopped.

For one terrible second, she couldn't speak.

Then she laughed.

Too quickly.

"What? No."

Rebecca raised an eyebrow.

"Lila."

"I'm serious."

"Okay."

Rebecca nodded slowly.

But she didn't look convinced.

A few seconds passed.

Then she spoke again.

"Maybe I'm wrong."

Lila stared at the label on her water bottle.

"Maybe."

Rebecca looked at her carefully.

"But if I'm not, I need to tell you something."

Lila didn't answer.

"Kill it."

The words landed harder than they should have.

Rebecca's voice remained gentle.

"For your own good."

Lila swallowed.

Rebecca continued.

"You're going to get hurt."

Neither of them spoke for several seconds.

Finally, Rebecca looked away.

"I've known Ryder for years."

Lila stayed silent.

"He's a lot of things."

A small smile touched Rebecca's lips.

"Most of them annoying."

That earned the tiniest reaction from Lila.

But Rebecca's smile faded.

"He doesn't always see what's right in front of him."

Lila felt her throat tighten.

Rebecca stood.

Before walking away, she paused.

Then she said quietly,

"Just don't build your whole world around someone who doesn't know he's standing in it."

And then she left.

Lila sat there long after she was gone.

Those words followed her into the evening.

The rest of the evening passed quietly.

Rebecca left shortly after.

Before leaving, she stopped beside Lila.

"Goodnight."

Lila managed a small smile.

"Goodnight."

Rebecca hesitated for a second, as if she wanted to say something else.

Then she simply nodded and walked away.

Lila watched her leave.

The front door closed.

And suddenly the house felt very quiet.

Dinner came and went.

Ethan talked about something funny that happened at work.

Ryder laughed at the right moments.

Normally, Lila would have joined in.

Tonight, she barely spoke.

Nobody seemed to notice.

Or maybe they were pretending not to.

After dinner, she helped clear the table.

She washed the dishes.

Dried them.

Put them away.

Anything to keep her hands busy.

Anything to stop thinking.

But Rebecca's words wouldn't leave her alone.

For your own good, kill it.

You're going to get hurt.

By the time she finished cleaning, she felt exhausted.

Not physically.

Just tired inside.

She wiped her hands on a kitchen towel.

"I'm going upstairs."

"Already?" Ethan asked.

She nodded.

"Long day."

Ethan accepted the answer easily.

"Goodnight, kid."

"Goodnight."

Lila turned toward the stairs.

As she walked away, she could feel Ryder's eyes following her.

She didn't look back.

Not once.

A few minutes later, she was sitting on her bed.

The room was dark except for the small lamp beside her.

She pulled her knees to her chest and stared out the window.

The neighborhood was quiet.

Most of the lights in the nearby houses were already off.

Everything looked peaceful.

She wished she felt the same.

Her gaze dropped to her hands.

Slowly, she remembered something Rebecca had asked earlier.

Are you in love with Ryder?

Lila closed her eyes.

For the first time all day, she stopped pretending.

Stopped denying it.

Stopped lying to herself.

Even if nobody else knew.

Even if Ryder never knew.

She knew.

And somehow that hurt the most.

Because loving him had always felt safe when he was far away.

Now he was living under the same roof.

And every day, it was becoming harder to hide.

Lila lay down and switched off the lamp.

The room went dark.

But sleep didn't come easily.