The plane had taken off and Charlotte was lucky to get a seat by the window side. Well, she loved to stare out into the lonely clouds whenever she was on a flight. For some reason, it was oddly satisfying to watch it. Unfortunately, it didn’t keep her mind off the pain she was feeling today, it didn’t bring her any happiness either. Yes, she was staring at the clouds but instead of its beauty and magnificence, all she could picture was fragments of her shattered heart.

She had her head relaxed backwards on the plane seat, while gnashing her teeth and sniffing to fight back the tears in her eyes. If teardrops were measured, she certainly would have buckets filled by now. If it wasn’t going to be weird, she would have loved to wear her sunglasses right here in the plane, at least they would help to hide her swollen red eyes.

As she stared at the blue clouds, she thought about Josh. His eyes were just like the clouds in the sky, like the cleanest of oceans, he was all she ever wanted, but perhaps she was wrong. Maybe she was wrong about him being the perfect guy, she just didn’t want to see his flaws, because he never had them at first.

The whole thing started a few months back when he started to ignore her, he no longer cared for her the way he used to when they started dating. He would barely call and when she did, he would end it in a hurry, claiming to be busy. What happened to all those sweet texts he used to send her very early in the morning? She would always wake up to one of those romantic texts and then fantasize over him for the whole day.

But everything was different now; no more romantic texts in the morning, no more breakfasts in bed; that is if she eventually succeeded in persuading him to sleep over. He no longer invites her over, and when she forces him to come around, he is always in a hurry to leave. There was a time when he was very obsessed with her, she could still remember when she used to plead with him to leave so that she could focus on work and not get fired by a boss who didn’t believe in love.

What happened to all those times? What happened to those times when he couldn’t stay a whole day without hearing her angelic voice? When he needed her to reassure him that she loved him every hour? What happened to those long midnight calls that they used to have? How he was always eager to make love to her.

She understood that things wouldn’t be like that forever, but why so suddenly? It all began a few months ago, when it felt like he had suddenly stopped caring. She knew that something happened but she couldn’t tell what it was. She had suspected that he was seeing someone else, he no longer even allows her to touch his phone, let alone open it. He had changed his passcode and wouldn’t give her the new one.

She had confronted him over his change in behavior and he got mad at her for accusing him of cheating, he used that as an excuse to avoid her for a whole month. She would call but he wouldn’t answer, and when he does, he would claim to be busy and ask her not to bother him.

How could she be stupid to not read the signs all that time? The problem wasn’t her, he was the problem. For some reason, he no longer wanted her, he just needed a valid reason to break up with her, and when he failed to sever ties with her after the infidelity accusation against him, he knew he had to get the job done one way or the other.

And so he waited till a few days ago, and then he made his intentions clear. He no longer wanted her, he was done with her, and what exactly was his reason for breaking up? That they weren’t compatible!! Really, they weren’t compatible and he showered her with love for a year and six months? They weren’t compatible and he made love to her countless times, he made her feel like a queen, like she was the one for him. He placed himself at a place of high value in her life and then he left. Why bother coming into her life if he was going to leave? Why make her love him so much if he was going to shatter that very same heart she used in loving him?

Charlotte wanted answers to all these questions as the pool of tears streamed down her eyes, she continuously wiped her face dry with a handkerchief which was now soaking wet, but she wasn’t running out of tears anytime soon. Just like the countless nights she had spent loving him, those tears kept flowing.

“You can have mine, and he is an asshole for making you cry.” A feminine voice jolted her out of her thoughts. It was tender yet posh, the accent and intonation, sounded like someone from a wealthy and sophisticated background.

Charlotte turned to the lady on the next seat, she thought the lady had been sleeping earlier, she must have disturbed her sleep.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to wake up,” she said immediately with a genuine apologetic expression.

“It is fine,” the lady said and handed her a fresh handkerchief. “Come on, dry your tears, no man is worth it.” She added.

Charlotte forced a smile and accepted her act of kindness. “Thank you,” she replied almost in a whisper as she sniffed in. She wasn’t used to getting such compassion from strangers, especially her gender. If it came from men, then ninety percent of the time, it was because they wanted to get in her pants.

“So tell me, who is this asshole, and what did he do to you?” she spoke elegantly.

Charlotte chuckled dryly, she loved this lady’s intonation, she obviously wasn’t from around, or she had taken a lot of lectures from childhood.

“He is my boyfriend, we have been together for two years now and suddenly, he asks me out on a date and tells me it is over, the most painful part is that he doesn’t have a reason for the break-up, he just decided that we are over,” she narrated while cleaning her face, she was trying her best to not break down again as she spoke.

“Men, right? They are all a bunch of idiots, that is why I ain’t marrying any bastard, they can all kiss my royal ass.” She spat and Charlotte chuckled.

“You seem to have had your fair share of heartbreak from that gender, do you mind telling me about it, maybe that would help me keep my mind off him,” Charlotte requested.

“Sure, I have healed already so talking about them isn’t a problem. I am sure you would feel the same way soon, I have had encounters with men who only want me for what they have to gain from me, none of them actually loved me for who I am. One of them had the guts to say I was an arrogant bitch behind my back, and I did good to kick his broken ass out of my house.” She narrated.

“Oh,” Charlotte uttered with widened eyes, trying not to laugh. This lady sounded like a complete badass, she loved her vibes. “Good thing you dealt with them folks,” she added.

“Oh yeah, no one messes with the Princess. You should learn to do that too, don’t let any of those scumbags hurt your feelings, ensure to put them in their place and don’t give your all in relationships. They are just going to use you and then break your spirit before moving on.” The lady advised with clenched fist

“Copy that, I am Charlotte by the way.” Charlotte said immediately.

“Nice to meet you Charlotte, I am Tiana by the way, and before you ask, yes it is my real name,” she replied in a whisper while staring around like she was scared of someone hearing her.

Charlotte couldn’t help but chuckle, this lady was funny. “Beautiful name, are you heading to Rovaniemi?” she asked.

“Yes, unfortunately, my driver would pick me up at the airport. Father insists I spend the Christmas season at home, someone needs to be around to teach big brother to behave.”

“Oh, I see… boys right?” Charlotte whispered.

Tiana giggled. “Yeah, although he is more of a rebel, so tell me… is Rovaniemi your last bus stop, or you hopping onto another flight?” she queried.

“Oh… yeah, it is my final destination. I don't know exactly what I am looking for, going there for the first time, but I hope I find it.” Charlotte answered.

“Believe me; you wouldn’t regret your stay here. Since it is just for fun and not business, I would suggest you go out at night and visit one of the bars. Lapland had the sexiest bartenders, make sure to use protection,” Tiana whispered into her ears and Charlotte smiled shyly.

“I will, thanks again for this,” she said and waved the handkerchief in the air with a smile on her face, the first genuine smile since the night Josh crashed her.

She hoped this trip would end up helping her mood. For the sake of her job and her mental health, she needed to heal from this heartbreak.

Charlotte lost contact with Tiana when they alighted from the plane. She had thought she would meet her at the waiting hall, hoping to exchange contacts so as to keep in touch. She was hesitant about it back on the plane.

After she had cleared her luggage, she quickly found herself in a cab in front of the airport. She was glad she didn’t have to spend hours here waiting for a ride because she knew absolutely no one here that could pick her up.

The pilot was either a very fast one or her calculations about the flight time were wrong; they had arrived at Rovaniemi airport sixteen hours after they departed, it was a few hours past noon by the time she arrived there.

Charlotte was amazed by the sight, she couldn’t believe she was really here; the official airport of Santa Claus, this was the busiest airport she had ever seen, or maybe it was because of the festive season. People were right to suggest Rovaniemi as the home of Santa Claus, everything here smelled like Christmas; the winter was way more active here than Australia where she had just come from.

This city really had the spirit of Christmas. Charlotte wished her best friend was here to witness these with her. She was no stranger to heavy snow, but what she saw here was special, it was different and she could feel the excitement bubbling within her. She was right to come here, this place was too magical to be real.

She took pictures from the cab as it headed for a hotel she had booked online before her arrival. It was difficult getting a good space by that time of the year because the hotels were already packed with guests and tourists. Yes, Rovaniemi was indeed a tourist attraction. What better place to spend Christmas than the village of Santa Claus himself.

Charlotte’s face brightened with a smile and her lovely cat eyes glowed when she saw a reindeer on the way. That was the first time she had seen one life, and it had just showed up randomly on the way like it was nothing special. Maybe that was just the way it was here, the road had just been plowed as she noticed, possibly the third or fourth time today, guessing from the rate of the snow fall.

Seeing that beautiful reindeer reminded Charlotte of the last Christmas she had spent with Josh, they had watched Christmas movies together and that was the first time she paid attention to the creature when it came up on the screen. She had discussed it with Josh and he had promised her that he would bring her to see a live one this year, but now she was here all alone, she had seen the reindeer but without Josh.

Charlotte’s mood was once again ruined when she thought about it, when she remembered all the fake promises he made to her during sex. She hated him for doing this to her, he betrayed her, he used her and he broke her trust.

“Asshole!!” she cursed out loud, as she had heard Tiana say all that time back in the flight. Seems like half a day was all the elegant lady needed to influence her, she was already repeating her swear words.

“Sorry ma’am, is everything alright back there?” the concerned cab driver asked from the front.

“Oh… yeah, yeah I am fine,” she replied and forced a convincing smile.

She switched between staring at the map on her phone and looking out of the window every few seconds. Well, just as much as she wanted to enjoy the view and get as many pictures as possible, she also didn’t want to get lost on her first day here in Finland. She had chosen a hotel here in Rovaniemi itself because she could easily take a cab to the airport if there was a need for it, but the hotel seemed to be a bit closer to the village than she thought.

It seemed so close to the airport on the map, but they had been driving for almost twenty minutes now. Of course, how could she trust the distance and time put down on the google map, it wasn’t completely accurate.

“Are we getting any closer?” she asked the cab driver curiously.

“Don’t worry ma’am, it is not too far away, and I would like to add that you chose a very good hotel. It is close to the big town and also the smaller city in the kingdom.” The chubby and happy looking driver replied.

it was either everyone in this city knew how to smile wide and be happy or the fat man was just having a really good day, either way he seemed really happy.

“Kingdom, you just said kingdom… So Finland practices a monarchy system of government?” she asked curiously, she was hearing that for the first time.

“Not entirely, but yes… some parts of the country still practice Monarchy, we have our royal families and they are just as recognized as the president and prime ministers,” he replied.

“Wow, cool…” Charlotte muttered and then she looked out of the window again.

The cab soon arrived at the hotel she had booked, she settled him and by the time her luggage was out of the car, there was someone there to welcome her already. A nicely dressed man who didn’t seem to be affected by the winter cold, he just wore this bright smile on his face that looked good on him, even better than the amazing tux he had on him.

“Welcome to the Supreme Presidential hotel, Rovaniemi. Do you already have a booking or would you like to make a fresh entry ma’am?” the man asked as he dragged her suitcase into the big building. The place was giving rural society vibes even with all the sophistication.

“Oh, I already booked a room online, I just haven’t printed the receipt yet.” Charlotte replied.

“That is not a problem ma’am, just give the receptionist your details and she will find your room information on the hotel website. Meanwhile, would you like any special services while you are here ma’am? We could get you almost anything you need; a private tour guide, a private cab, even a personal Santa Claus,” he added and Charlotte giggled.

** * * * *

Charlotte was now inside her hotel room, she loved the view from the large glass. She was on the first floor and the whole place was just wide and spectacular. She expected this place to be low-key, but not this calm and reserved.

Well, she thought it was too calm until she heard the voices of excited kids tobogganing outside the hotel on the sideway. A smile crawled up her face as she watched those adorable kids scream in excitement. Once again she thought of the one source of happiness she used to have, Josh!

It was at that point that she realized how dependent she really was on him. Yes, she never asked him for money because she could earn her own money, but most of her happy memories were tied to him, she had completely relied on him to be happy and now she was paying a heavy price for that. She had very few joyful memories that had nothing to do with him, so how can she move on? How can she forget about him when he was the reason for her smile?

Once again, she cursed the day she met him as sadness filled her being. She decided to take Tiana’s advice, she will go out there tonight and get drunk!! She would find a way to be happy without Josh because she didn’t damn need him in her life, she was a strong independent beautiful woman, she wouldn’t forget that!!

Charlotte let the water trail down on her slowly, she was fond of spending time under the shower, everything just felt alright whenever she had water rushing down her, washing through her skin and melting feelings in her. She loved the way it felt against the sensitive parts of her body, her tits to be precise. Having the shower rush down on them was an arousing experience, but today was different.

Yes, she still felt that lovely sensation as the cold water grazed her skin, she felt that arousal but then she remembered the only man who had taken the responsibility of quenching that desire for the past two years. Standing under that shower with her eyes closed reminded her of all the things they had done, the way he had treated her like an egg. So that was all for nothing, she still found it difficult to believe, how could someone who made her feel so special suddenly lose interest in her and want nothing to do with her anymore?

Did that even make any sense? Did he love her? Yes, did he care for her? Yes! So what the bloody hell happened? What happened to them? How did they lose what they had? It just didn’t check out. She knew there had to be an external factor that she wasn’t bringing into consideration, probably because she had no idea what the fuck it was.

Unable to relive those painful memories anymore, she turned off the shower and grabbed her freshly wrapped towel from the hanger in the bathroom. She stepped out of the bathtub and tied the towel around her chest. As much as she didn’t want to think about him, she just found herself doing that over and over again. Not like she expected this to be easy but it was just more difficult than she expected.

She couldn’t even remember how many times she had said the F word today, she cussed whenever she thought of him, whenever she remembered how they used to be, whenever she felt the pain he had caused her.

Just as she stepped out to the large bedroom, her phone rang and she hesitated before going to take it. She didn’t even want to take any calls, she was on a damn holiday, it was the 23rd day of December and she wasn’t expected back at the office until the 2nd of January, so they should let her utilize her free time.

She picked up the phone and realized it was Olivia. Holy shit! She promised she would call or text as soon as she reached Rovaniemi airport, but she was so occupied with the thought of her ex that she forgot.

Charlotte clicked the green button and answered the call before it would disconnect. “Hey, what’s up girl?” she said and forced a smile.

Yes, Olivia couldn’t see her but someone she would be able to decipher her mood, so it was best to fake a smile. Charlotte always called her a digital witch because of that ability.

“I have been trying to get through to you for the past thirty minutes. Are you alright? Have you checked in at the hotel, are you safe?” her best friend asked with a worried tone.

“Relax Ollie, I am perfectly fine. The flight arrived earlier than I planned, so I just got out of the shower now. Like I promised you, I haven’t committed suicide yet or tried to injure myself. Instead, I am going to have the best time of my life here. Also, we should totally come check this place out next year, it is such a beautiful place, but it won't be much fun without you, girl.” I replied.

“Awn, I am sorry I can't be there with you, cutie pie, but we will definitely visit there together next year, I have a gut feeling about that. I am glad that you are okay, please take care of yourself. What exactly do you plan to do tonight? You sound like you already have it planned out,” Olivia queried.

Charlotte chuckled softly. “Yes, actually I do. I am going out to a local bar in the outskirts of the city, I will get a drink there and drown my sorrows with them,” she announced and giggled.

“That is awesome, you know what? Dot just get a drink, take as much as your head can carry. You know, get drunk, find a handsome muscular Finnish guy and ride him to the moon girl, because you deserve happiness, especially on a freaking holiday, you hear me?” She encouraged me.

Charlotte laughed. “Aye Captain, I will do exactly that, nothing else can please me right now. I mean, except for one of those Olivia hugs, I miss those already.” Charlotte whined.

“Awn, don’t worry baby girl. Just have your fun, and don’t think about that useless douche bag, he doesn’t deserve your love or care. Make sure to take care of yourself, I will be waiting here for you when it is all over, and then you can get as many hugs as you want, sweetie.”

Charlotte nodded, once again she expected Olivia to know that she did, even without seeing her. “I will do everything you say. Also, if that asshole comes looking for me, or asks for me, tell him I left the country and I ain’t coming back.”

“Oh, I would do worse than that. Also, I have never heard you use the word asshole before, is there something I need to know??” Olivia teased.

Charlotte laughed; she didn’t even realize she had used that word. “Well, let’s just say I met a new kind of person. I will update you when I am back.”

“That is great; you should do more of that. Make new friends, have fun, but just make sure that my spot in your heart doesn’t get taken or there will be no home for you when you come back.” Olivia threatened. She damn meant what she said, if she wouldn’t be part of Charlotte’s life, then no one as well would.

“Hahaha!! Don’t worry girl, no one is taking your place in my life, it is a promise. I need to go now, I have to get ready before nightfall, I will call you tomorrow because I might be too drunk tonight to take your call.” She assured me and then they laughed.