“Wait, Charlotte… you are not thinking straight right now, are you sure this is what you want?” Olivia queried as she tried to stop her best friend who was all over the room grabbing items.

“Yes Ollie, I can’t stay in this city. I need to be away from everything that reminds me of him or I might just lose my mind before the year is over.” Charlotte replied as she packed the clothes into her traveling bag.

From her voice alone, anyone would be able to tell that she had cried a lot in the past few hours, her eyes were all red and swollen up, even the mascara and eye shadow she had applied wasn’t enough to hide it.

She was still in shock of how her life had gone south in just a few minutes, how a moment of joy turned into sadness and threw her into an emotional dungeon. She couldn’t believe that Josh would really do that to her, it all felt like a joke till six hours ago when it dawned on her that he wasn’t fooling around, he meant every word that he said.

She felt completely broken and so she paid for a ticket immediately, the first place that came to her mind was Rovaniemi in Lapland, Finland. She had heard a lot about that place and since she had never been there before, she thought it was the best Christmas destination.

Not like she intended to celebrate Christmas this year. No, it was already ruined for her, she just wanted to get away from the toxicity of her present environment. Everything about this city reminded her of Josh, she knew spending the Christmas here in Australia would be torture.

Olivia had tried to convince her to stay over at her place but she didn’t want to. She knew she would spend the next few days crying and falling sick and she didn’t want to put that burden on her best friend, this was her cross to carry. Moreover, she didn’t even want to smell this city, she needed somewhere fresh that she had no memories or attachments to.

Rovaniemi was just the perfect destination for her, not only was it far from home but also isolated from any friends or relatives, anyone or anything that would remind her of Josh. She had just the Christmas break to heal mentally and emotionally before she is forced to resume work, and if she resumes while suffering from a heartbreak, her job could be the next thing she loses.

She walked for the accounting section in an I.C.T firm and her boss was someone who didn’t believe in stupid feelings and emotions, he wouldn’t take her break up as an excuse if she lets it get in the way of her job when she resumes in January, it was better to clear her mind off it with the next few days and what better way than crying her eyes out.

Yes, crying she believed was all part of the healing process. She needed to let it all out, she needed to acknowledge that what had happened has happened and there was nothing she could do to change it, in order to heal, she needed to admit to herself that Josh was her past and it was time to move on. She no longer has to cling on to those painful memories, nor her dreams.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t as easy as it sounds. Moving past a break-up was just as difficult as outrunning a cheater, literally. As of right now, she was broken and she believed she might probably never love again. She just had to focus on herself and build herself to be a strong independent woman with no emotions as it was the only way to avoid breakdowns like this.

It was the 22nd day of December, three days before Christmas. The good news was that she already had her papers cleared, including her Visa as she had originally been planning to visit the country over the new year, but now she might have to fast forward to that. All she needed to do was get a plane ticket, and that didn’t need days of processing, it was available in hours.

It was evening already and she knew the flight would last for around eighteen hours. Yes, a very long flight which means more time to cry and sleep while listening to songs from Justin Bieber and her favorite artist, Tatiana Manaois

“Come on girl, give this a final thought. Are you sure you would be fine over there, all by yourself?” Olivia asked for the umpteenth time.

Charlotte sighed as she locked the luggage box. “Yes Ollie, this is exactly what I need, space from everything and everyone. Don’t worry, I will try not to commit suicide, at least for you. Now will you stop trying to change my mind and help me pack because my mind is made up, the plane would be leaving in an hour, I need to be at the airport by then.” She pleaded.

Olivia growled with clenched fist. “I know… That is exactly why I have been trying to stall you, so that you miss the flight and I change your mind before the next flight is ready. I am going to miss you a lot, babes.” She confessed and hugged charlotte

Yeah, Olivia was definitely the hugger. It probably runs in the family, because her family is one of the sweetest people that Charlotte had met in her life, they had more than enough love for everyone, and it was passed on to their daughter.

“I will miss you too, girl… and honestly, I wish I didn’t have to go, at least not without you. But no worries, when your papers are available, we will go spend a holiday there together. As for today, it is just me,” Charlotte said sadly.

She was trying to sound okay so that her best friend would let her go, but she was definitely not okay. She felt a gap in her heart, a pain that wouldn’t go away. She knew she was broken, she had lost her taste buds and all she wanted to do was cry; that is if she still had any tears left in her eyes. She was dehydrated and weak, her pupils dilated and cry marks all over her face.

“Fine, I will book you a cab immediately, but promise me you will take care of yourself. That is the only condition for which I will let you leave, remember that you can’t break a bestie promise,” Olivia whined like a child.

Charlotte forced a smile and then nodded. “Alright, you have my word… I won’t commit suicide and I would try my best not to get hurt, I will eat and take my medications on time, is that enough?” she asked.

“Hmm,” Olivia hummed with a wrinkled forehead. “Fine, you can go then, bring me goodies from Rovaniemi, and have the best Christmas of your life, sister.” She said with caring eyes, and then she embraced her again. Yeah, another Olivia hug, it is quite popular at their workplace.

The plane had taken off and Charlotte was lucky to get a seat by the window side. Well, she loved to stare out into the lonely clouds whenever she was on a flight. For some reason, it was oddly satisfying to watch it. Unfortunately, it didn’t keep her mind off the pain she was feeling today, it didn’t bring her any happiness either. Yes, she was staring at the clouds but instead of its beauty and magnificence, all she could picture was fragments of her shattered heart.

She had her head relaxed backwards on the plane seat, while gnashing her teeth and sniffing to fight back the tears in her eyes. If teardrops were measured, she certainly would have buckets filled by now. If it wasn’t going to be weird, she would have loved to wear her sunglasses right here in the plane, at least they would help to hide her swollen red eyes.

As she stared at the blue clouds, she thought about Josh. His eyes were just like the clouds in the sky, like the cleanest of oceans, he was all she ever wanted, but perhaps she was wrong. Maybe she was wrong about him being the perfect guy, she just didn’t want to see his flaws, because he never had them at first.

The whole thing started a few months back when he started to ignore her, he no longer cared for her the way he used to when they started dating. He would barely call and when she did, he would end it in a hurry, claiming to be busy. What happened to all those sweet texts he used to send her very early in the morning? She would always wake up to one of those romantic texts and then fantasize over him for the whole day.

But everything was different now; no more romantic texts in the morning, no more breakfasts in bed; that is if she eventually succeeded in persuading him to sleep over. He no longer invites her over, and when she forces him to come around, he is always in a hurry to leave. There was a time when he was very obsessed with her, she could still remember when she used to plead with him to leave so that she could focus on work and not get fired by a boss who didn’t believe in love.

What happened to all those times? What happened to those times when he couldn’t stay a whole day without hearing her angelic voice? When he needed her to reassure him that she loved him every hour? What happened to those long midnight calls that they used to have? How he was always eager to make love to her.

She understood that things wouldn’t be like that forever, but why so suddenly? It all began a few months ago, when it felt like he had suddenly stopped caring. She knew that something happened but she couldn’t tell what it was. She had suspected that he was seeing someone else, he no longer even allows her to touch his phone, let alone open it. He had changed his passcode and wouldn’t give her the new one.

She had confronted him over his change in behavior and he got mad at her for accusing him of cheating, he used that as an excuse to avoid her for a whole month. She would call but he wouldn’t answer, and when he does, he would claim to be busy and ask her not to bother him.

How could she be stupid to not read the signs all that time? The problem wasn’t her, he was the problem. For some reason, he no longer wanted her, he just needed a valid reason to break up with her, and when he failed to sever ties with her after the infidelity accusation against him, he knew he had to get the job done one way or the other.

And so he waited till a few days ago, and then he made his intentions clear. He no longer wanted her, he was done with her, and what exactly was his reason for breaking up? That they weren’t compatible!! Really, they weren’t compatible and he showered her with love for a year and six months? They weren’t compatible and he made love to her countless times, he made her feel like a queen, like she was the one for him. He placed himself at a place of high value in her life and then he left. Why bother coming into her life if he was going to leave? Why make her love him so much if he was going to shatter that very same heart she used in loving him?

Charlotte wanted answers to all these questions as the pool of tears streamed down her eyes, she continuously wiped her face dry with a handkerchief which was now soaking wet, but she wasn’t running out of tears anytime soon. Just like the countless nights she had spent loving him, those tears kept flowing.

“You can have mine, and he is an asshole for making you cry.” A feminine voice jolted her out of her thoughts. It was tender yet posh, the accent and intonation, sounded like someone from a wealthy and sophisticated background.

Charlotte turned to the lady on the next seat, she thought the lady had been sleeping earlier, she must have disturbed her sleep.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to wake up,” she said immediately with a genuine apologetic expression.

“It is fine,” the lady said and handed her a fresh handkerchief. “Come on, dry your tears, no man is worth it.” She added.

Charlotte forced a smile and accepted her act of kindness. “Thank you,” she replied almost in a whisper as she sniffed in. She wasn’t used to getting such compassion from strangers, especially her gender. If it came from men, then ninety percent of the time, it was because they wanted to get in her pants.

“So tell me, who is this asshole, and what did he do to you?” she spoke elegantly.

Charlotte chuckled dryly, she loved this lady’s intonation, she obviously wasn’t from around, or she had taken a lot of lectures from childhood.

“He is my boyfriend, we have been together for two years now and suddenly, he asks me out on a date and tells me it is over, the most painful part is that he doesn’t have a reason for the break-up, he just decided that we are over,” she narrated while cleaning her face, she was trying her best to not break down again as she spoke.

“Men, right? They are all a bunch of idiots, that is why I ain’t marrying any bastard, they can all kiss my royal ass.” She spat and Charlotte chuckled.

“You seem to have had your fair share of heartbreak from that gender, do you mind telling me about it, maybe that would help me keep my mind off him,” Charlotte requested.

“Sure, I have healed already so talking about them isn’t a problem. I am sure you would feel the same way soon, I have had encounters with men who only want me for what they have to gain from me, none of them actually loved me for who I am. One of them had the guts to say I was an arrogant bitch behind my back, and I did good to kick his broken ass out of my house.” She narrated.

“Oh,” Charlotte uttered with widened eyes, trying not to laugh. This lady sounded like a complete badass, she loved her vibes. “Good thing you dealt with them folks,” she added.

“Oh yeah, no one messes with the Princess. You should learn to do that too, don’t let any of those scumbags hurt your feelings, ensure to put them in their place and don’t give your all in relationships. They are just going to use you and then break your spirit before moving on.” The lady advised with clenched fist

“Copy that, I am Charlotte by the way.” Charlotte said immediately.

“Nice to meet you Charlotte, I am Tiana by the way, and before you ask, yes it is my real name,” she replied in a whisper while staring around like she was scared of someone hearing her.

Charlotte couldn’t help but chuckle, this lady was funny. “Beautiful name, are you heading to Rovaniemi?” she asked.

“Yes, unfortunately, my driver would pick me up at the airport. Father insists I spend the Christmas season at home, someone needs to be around to teach big brother to behave.”

“Oh, I see… boys right?” Charlotte whispered.

Tiana giggled. “Yeah, although he is more of a rebel, so tell me… is Rovaniemi your last bus stop, or you hopping onto another flight?” she queried.

“Oh… yeah, it is my final destination. I don't know exactly what I am looking for, going there for the first time, but I hope I find it.” Charlotte answered.

“Believe me; you wouldn’t regret your stay here. Since it is just for fun and not business, I would suggest you go out at night and visit one of the bars. Lapland had the sexiest bartenders, make sure to use protection,” Tiana whispered into her ears and Charlotte smiled shyly.

“I will, thanks again for this,” she said and waved the handkerchief in the air with a smile on her face, the first genuine smile since the night Josh crashed her.

She hoped this trip would end up helping her mood. For the sake of her job and her mental health, she needed to heal from this heartbreak.

Charlotte lost contact with Tiana when they alighted from the plane. She had thought she would meet her at the waiting hall, hoping to exchange contacts so as to keep in touch. She was hesitant about it back on the plane.

After she had cleared her luggage, she quickly found herself in a cab in front of the airport. She was glad she didn’t have to spend hours here waiting for a ride because she knew absolutely no one here that could pick her up.

The pilot was either a very fast one or her calculations about the flight time were wrong; they had arrived at Rovaniemi airport sixteen hours after they departed, it was a few hours past noon by the time she arrived there.

Charlotte was amazed by the sight, she couldn’t believe she was really here; the official airport of Santa Claus, this was the busiest airport she had ever seen, or maybe it was because of the festive season. People were right to suggest Rovaniemi as the home of Santa Claus, everything here smelled like Christmas; the winter was way more active here than Australia where she had just come from.

This city really had the spirit of Christmas. Charlotte wished her best friend was here to witness these with her. She was no stranger to heavy snow, but what she saw here was special, it was different and she could feel the excitement bubbling within her. She was right to come here, this place was too magical to be real.

She took pictures from the cab as it headed for a hotel she had booked online before her arrival. It was difficult getting a good space by that time of the year because the hotels were already packed with guests and tourists. Yes, Rovaniemi was indeed a tourist attraction. What better place to spend Christmas than the village of Santa Claus himself.

Charlotte’s face brightened with a smile and her lovely cat eyes glowed when she saw a reindeer on the way. That was the first time she had seen one life, and it had just showed up randomly on the way like it was nothing special. Maybe that was just the way it was here, the road had just been plowed as she noticed, possibly the third or fourth time today, guessing from the rate of the snow fall.

Seeing that beautiful reindeer reminded Charlotte of the last Christmas she had spent with Josh, they had watched Christmas movies together and that was the first time she paid attention to the creature when it came up on the screen. She had discussed it with Josh and he had promised her that he would bring her to see a live one this year, but now she was here all alone, she had seen the reindeer but without Josh.

Charlotte’s mood was once again ruined when she thought about it, when she remembered all the fake promises he made to her during sex. She hated him for doing this to her, he betrayed her, he used her and he broke her trust.

“Asshole!!” she cursed out loud, as she had heard Tiana say all that time back in the flight. Seems like half a day was all the elegant lady needed to influence her, she was already repeating her swear words.

“Sorry ma’am, is everything alright back there?” the concerned cab driver asked from the front.

“Oh… yeah, yeah I am fine,” she replied and forced a convincing smile.

She switched between staring at the map on her phone and looking out of the window every few seconds. Well, just as much as she wanted to enjoy the view and get as many pictures as possible, she also didn’t want to get lost on her first day here in Finland. She had chosen a hotel here in Rovaniemi itself because she could easily take a cab to the airport if there was a need for it, but the hotel seemed to be a bit closer to the village than she thought.

It seemed so close to the airport on the map, but they had been driving for almost twenty minutes now. Of course, how could she trust the distance and time put down on the google map, it wasn’t completely accurate.

“Are we getting any closer?” she asked the cab driver curiously.

“Don’t worry ma’am, it is not too far away, and I would like to add that you chose a very good hotel. It is close to the big town and also the smaller city in the kingdom.” The chubby and happy looking driver replied.

it was either everyone in this city knew how to smile wide and be happy or the fat man was just having a really good day, either way he seemed really happy.

“Kingdom, you just said kingdom… So Finland practices a monarchy system of government?” she asked curiously, she was hearing that for the first time.

“Not entirely, but yes… some parts of the country still practice Monarchy, we have our royal families and they are just as recognized as the president and prime ministers,” he replied.

“Wow, cool…” Charlotte muttered and then she looked out of the window again.

The cab soon arrived at the hotel she had booked, she settled him and by the time her luggage was out of the car, there was someone there to welcome her already. A nicely dressed man who didn’t seem to be affected by the winter cold, he just wore this bright smile on his face that looked good on him, even better than the amazing tux he had on him.

“Welcome to the Supreme Presidential hotel, Rovaniemi. Do you already have a booking or would you like to make a fresh entry ma’am?” the man asked as he dragged her suitcase into the big building. The place was giving rural society vibes even with all the sophistication.

“Oh, I already booked a room online, I just haven’t printed the receipt yet.” Charlotte replied.

“That is not a problem ma’am, just give the receptionist your details and she will find your room information on the hotel website. Meanwhile, would you like any special services while you are here ma’am? We could get you almost anything you need; a private tour guide, a private cab, even a personal Santa Claus,” he added and Charlotte giggled.

** * * * *

Charlotte was now inside her hotel room, she loved the view from the large glass. She was on the first floor and the whole place was just wide and spectacular. She expected this place to be low-key, but not this calm and reserved.

Well, she thought it was too calm until she heard the voices of excited kids tobogganing outside the hotel on the sideway. A smile crawled up her face as she watched those adorable kids scream in excitement. Once again she thought of the one source of happiness she used to have, Josh!

It was at that point that she realized how dependent she really was on him. Yes, she never asked him for money because she could earn her own money, but most of her happy memories were tied to him, she had completely relied on him to be happy and now she was paying a heavy price for that. She had very few joyful memories that had nothing to do with him, so how can she move on? How can she forget about him when he was the reason for her smile?

Once again, she cursed the day she met him as sadness filled her being. She decided to take Tiana’s advice, she will go out there tonight and get drunk!! She would find a way to be happy without Josh because she didn’t damn need him in her life, she was a strong independent beautiful woman, she wouldn’t forget that!!