Be Alpha's Mate Again?

The cold air of the night was clinging to my skin even though it should be a warm night to celebrate my coming of age.

Desar had promised he would be home early to celebrate. I’d spent all day preparing—dinner ready, a small cake waiting, candles, everything set. So when he called around noon to say he’d be “a little late” because of an “unexpected engagement,” I let myself believe him. After all, he’d said it with that calm, detached tone he always used, the one that kept his distance even from me, his mate.

When the sky turned dark, he still hadn’t returned. I decided to check my messages and noticed a notification. A video had been uploaded by someone in the pack, tagged innocently enough, and I clicked out of idle curiosity. But then, my world tipped sideways.

There he was—Desar, laughing and setting off fireworks with Elize, the previous Alpha’s daughter, and his so-called childhood friend. His expression was alive, a look of warmth I’d never seen directed at me. He wore a carefree smile as he looked down at her, eyes softened with tenderness. My heart clenched as I watched the fireworks reflect in his eyes, bright and full of life. I’d convinced myself Desar just wasn’t the type to show emotion like that; he was distant because he was… reserved, maybe. But no, that side of him was there—it just wasn’t for me.

As the cheers in the video rose around them, I realized how foolish I’d been. I sat in the quiet of his empty apartment, the cake sitting untouched on the table. The flickering candles I’d set up earlier suddenly looked dim, and the evening I’d so carefully prepared felt pointless.

I took a deep breath and dialed his number. Desar picked up after a few rings, his voice cold and clipped. “What is it?”

There was laughter in the background and the faint sound of a firework bursting. I held back a shudder, and after a long silence, I said, “Where are you?”

“Just finishing up at the office. Is this important?” he replied, his tone casual, even a bit annoyed.

He wasn’t even trying to lie convincingly. The ease in his voice confirmed what I already knew. I felt a bitterness rise in me as I looked at the video again.

“Let’s break up,” I said, my voice firm and even.

He scoffed, dismissive. “You’re being dramatic again, Maisie.”

My fingers clenched around the phone as I replied, “Browse the pack’s chat if you want to know what I mean. You’re a regular celebrity there now.”

Before he could respond, I hung up. My hand shook as I placed the phone down, but I didn’t let myself dwell on it. I’d made my decision, and I wouldn’t let him waver it. I looked around his apartment—no, it was never really ‘our’ home, just a place I’d existed in, trying to hold on to someone who never fully belonged to me.

The foods I’d prepared were now cold. I packed them into containers, then gathered my things, knowing I didn’t want to wake up here anymore. The life I’d clung to was as empty as this apartment now.

I left without looking back, heading straight to my parents’ old place on the edge of pack territory. My small, isolated home—a gift they’d given me after I’d graduated—felt like the only haven I had left. Desar had convinced me to leave it behind to be closer to him, but it was all a lie, just like his promises.

That night, the silence of the house felt comforting. I hadn’t realized how stifling it was, living under his shadow, in his space, until I was back here on my own. I lay down, feeling a strange, heavy emptiness, but also a small spark of relief.

That quiet night didn't end silent after all. The coming of age year is also when I'm shifting for the first time. Without my mate next to me, the shift was so painful to the point that I could die.

There were a few cases where female wolves died, anda rare case of them surviving the shift without a mate.

My bones cracked and twisted in unimaginable positions. My sight turned all black until it got clearer and became ten times better.

The next thing I heard was my voice screaming at the top of my lungs until it sounded like a howl under the full moon.

The next morning, I woke up in my room, my clothes folded neatly on top of my study table. I knew my mom prepared it for me.

I am one of the rare cases of a female wolf that survived the shift without Desar.

I couldn't remember what happened that night, but what matters was I survived.

After putting my clothes on, I checked my phone and saw Desar’s messages were waiting for my reply.

‘What’s gotten into you?’

‘Come back when you’re ready to stop being so difficult.’

I ignored them. There was nothing left to say to him, nothing I hadn’t said in a hundred different arguments. I’d tried so many times to make him see that I wasn’t just an option. Every time I voiced my feelings, he’d dismiss me or, worse, accuse me of wanting his full attention when he's busy enough as the pack's Alpha.

I clung to the hope that he might choose me over her someday.

But seeing them together, and hearing him lie to my face—it was as though every piece of hope I’d kept alive was shattered. This time, I was done pretending that his “friendship” with Elize was innocent.

As I looked around my small, safe home, I realized this was the first step toward reclaiming myself. The hurt was still fresh, but I felt an unexpected peace settling over me.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my phone and read his messages one last time. Then, with steady fingers, I blocked his number.

Since Desar wasn't present when I shifted into my wolf, we didn't create a bond as mates.

So, that supposedly life with him was behind me now. For the first time, I was free.