AfterMyRejectionIMarriedHisUncle

AXIRA 

Fear didn't cover what I felt. Not even close.

My hands were sweating through the fabric of my dress and I kept smoothing it down like that would fix anything.

"You're going to wear a hole in that dress." Veyla pried the glass out of my hand and pushed a different one into it. "Drink. You look like you're about to pass out."

"I'm fine." I insisted even though I felt like the world was spinning on its axis. 

"You're the color of a dead fish."

I took a sip. Ugh. Too sweet. I drank it anyway because it gave my hands something to do besides shake.

The courtyard was packed with people. Lanterns strung wall to wall, half the pack crammed in, laughing too loud as they always liked to do when there's free wine involved. 

My mother had picked this dress herself — it was cream, high-necked, nothing that drew the eye — and I understood why the second I walked in and felt every gaze assess me anyway.

“That's her. The Serath girl.”

“The one the goddess picked for the Alpha's son.”

“Didn't expect that.”

I heard the last one clearest, because the woman saying it didn't bother lowering her voice much. I kept my chin up and pretended I hadn't.

"Ignore them," Veyla muttered.

"I am." I whispered, keeping my expression blank. 

"Kinda seems like you are. Your ears are very red. You're actually easy to read, you just don't seem to realise it." She grinned at me, quick and warm, the kind of grin she always gave that used to fix most of my bad days when we were kids. It didn't quite reach this time, but I appreciated the effort.

Across the courtyard, Ravion stood with a cluster of elders, his gold hair catching the lantern light while he was deep in conversation that looked important enough to require his full attention. He hadn't looked at me once since I'd arrived.

"He's just nervous," Veyla said, following my gaze. "Boys get weird before ceremonies."

"Did he tell you that?" I didn’t look at her, my gaze remained fixed on Ravion. 

The Alphas’ son. 

The man I would formally get mated to in a short time. 

"I'm guessing." She bumped my shoulder with hers. "Stop spiraling. Tonight's supposed to be good for you."

Good for me. I almost laughed. Nothing in my life had ever come with that label attached and I didn't know if tonight was going to be different. 

I was nervous. 

It felt like I was going to be sick too. 

"Axira Serath."

I turned, gaze searching for who had called my name.

Elder Sen, flanked by two others I didn't recognize, all three of them wearing a kind of smile that didn't touch anything below the mouth.

"Elder Sen." I dipped my head, the way I'd been taught, the way that cost me nothing and had never once gotten me anything either in this pack.

"Quite the night for you." His eyes moved over me, slowly and assessing, the way you'd look over livestock before deciding whether it was worth the price. "The goddess certainly works in strange ways."

"I suppose she does."

"We were just saying—" the elder beside him leaned in, voice pitched to sound confidential and also loud enough that a dozen people nearby could hear it anyway, "—it's a bold choice. The Serath line isn't exactly known for producing strong wolves."

"Bold," Elder Sen agreed, nodding slowly, like the word had just occurred to him and wasn't something he'd clearly walked over here to say. "Still. The Alpha's son could use someone soft at his side. Balance him out."

Soft. Like I was a pillow. Like the best thing anyone could say about me was that I wouldn't get in the way.

"I'm sure Ravion knows what he wants," I said, and kept my voice even, because falling apart in front of Elder Sen was exactly the kind of thing that would end up in tomorrow's gossip alongside ‘poor, poor girl.’

But I couldn't keep behaving like that. I was about to be named future Luna of the pack whether they liked it or not. 

"Of course, of course." He patted my shoulder, the gesture somehow more condescending than anything he'd actually said. "We only want what's best for the pack. I'm sure you understand."

They drifted off toward the wine table, already murmuring to each other before they were fully out of earshot, and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

"They're just old and bitter," Veyla shook her head. "Ignore them."

"Everyone keeps telling me to ignore everyone. It's beginning to get annoying.”

"Because everyone has opinions and none of them matter." She turned me by the shoulders so I was facing her instead of the crowd, instead of Elder Sen's retreating back, instead of Ravion still not looking at me. "Listen to me. Once he picks you tonight — once it's over, once it's done in front of everyone — they don't get to talk like that anymore. You'll be his mate. They'll have to respect that, whether they like the Serath line or not."

"You really think it works like that?"

"I know it works like that." She squeezed my hands, both of them this time, and there was something fierce in her face that I didn't examine too closely because I was too grateful for the warmth of it to ask what was underneath. "Tonight, everything changes. You stop being the girl they whisper about and you start being someone they have to answer to."

I wanted to believe her so badly it ached.

"Do you think he'll be kind?" I asked, hating how small my voice came out.

Something blank moved behind her eyes, there and gone in a second before I could name it. "I think," she said carefully, "that whatever happens tonight, you're going to be fine. Better than fine."

The horn sounded, the sound long and foreboding, and the whole courtyard turned at once.

"That's you." She grabbed my hand and squeezed it, hard enough to hurt before she let go. "Go."

My legs moved before I told them to. I didn't remember crossing the courtyard. I just remembered arriving where I needed to be — Ravion in front of me, close enough that I could count the buttons on his jacket, close enough to smell the wine on him.

He still wasn't looking at me. Not really. His eyes were somewhere over my shoulder, on the crowd, on his father, anywhere but my face.

The elder officiating cleared his throat and started in on the ceremony proper. Moon goddess. Bonds forged before birth, sealed by choice, witnessed by pack. Words I'd heard a hundred times at other people's ceremonies and never once thought I'd stand still long enough to hear said about me.

I caught my mother's face in the crowd. She was composed and watching carefully. There was not a flicker of nerves anywhere on her, which struck me as strange even in the moment. It felt like I was the only one nervous right now. 

My heart was so loud I almost missed the question.

"Ravion Drenthe. Do you accept Axira Serath as your mate, bonded by blood, chosen by the goddess, sealed before your pack?"

A pause followed and I sucked in air sharply.

The whole pack seemed to be still, everyone watching and waiting for Ravion to accept. To say the words that would seal me as their future luna. 

"I, Ravion Drenthe—" He started and his voice carried easily, like he'd said this a thousand times in his head already, "—reject Axira Serath as my mate.”

My heart seemed to stop and I felt the world shift beneath my feet. 

What?