Valentine's Day. We were almost next in line at the courthouse when Ray Henson opened his mouth.

“The night of the graduation party, after the SATs? That was your best friend's first time, too.”

“You were exhausted from the first half of the night with me. She came to find me after you fell asleep. I couldn't stop myself.”

“She was in so much pain she almost cried, but she bit through her lip so you wouldn't hear and get hurt.”

I stood frozen, my hand drifting up to touch the white veil on my head.

That morning, before I left, Carissa had placed the handmade veil on me with tears in her eyes, wishing me a lifetime of happiness.

“And last night, when we told you the kitchen smelled too strong and you shouldn't come in? We were in there together.”

“At dinner, you saw how red her eyes were. You thought the cooking fumes got to her. You felt sorry for her for the rest of the meal.”

He held up the marriage registration papers as he spoke, his tone flat.

“Whether we go through with this or not, it's up to you.”

——

The couple ahead of us was finishing their paperwork. The couple behind us was deciding where to honeymoon.

And I was standing there, unable to move, all the blood in my body rushing to my skull, my ears ringing.

Carissa Butler was my best friend. When we were thirteen, a man followed her into an alley. I was the one who ran in after her.

I got stabbed six times. Three months in the hospital. Missed the SATs entirely.

Carissa chose to retake the year with me without a second of hesitation. She stayed by my side.

After that, we only grew closer. We treated each other like family.

I never imagined she would be the one to betray me.

A long time passed before I could raise my eyes to Ray. My voice came out scraped raw.

“Then why did you have to tell me now?”

Why, at the closest I had ever been to happiness, did he have to shatter everything.

Ray looked at my red-rimmed eyes and had the nerve to look relieved.

“Because I can't lose Carissa.”

“She said if I went through with this, she'd leave. For good. Never come back.”

“She said she couldn't be with me and keep thinking about you and feeling guilty.”

When he talked about Carissa, his whole expression softened with barely concealed tenderness and love.

Just days ago, he had been carefully picking out what to wear today, planning how to announce it online for everyone to see.

I teased him about it, and he pulled me into his arms, voice thick with emotion.

“Alice Garner, how could I not be happy? Marrying you has been my dream since I was a teenager.”

Now that the dream was about to come true, he was telling me he'd been with my best friend all along. Whether we registered or not was up to me.

I forced the corners of my mouth to move and stepped out of line without a word.

The moment I did, something flickered in Ray's eyes. Panic. His hand shot out and locked around my wrist.

“Alice, if you still want to register, I'll do it. I'll still go through with it.”

“I'll talk to Carissa afterward……”

I whipped around and tore the veil off my head, throwing it at him.

“Ray Henson, do you have any idea how disgusting you are?”

I didn't care who was watching. I ran for the door.

Tears blurred everything. My chest felt like it was being torn apart with bare hands.

And I ran straight into Carissa Butler, who was supposed to have left already.

The second she saw the tears on my face, she did what she always did. She pulled me behind her and turned on Ray, voice sharp with anger.

“What did you do? It's your registration day. Why is Alice sobbing like this?”

Then she turned back to me, her hand rising gently to wipe my tears, her voice as soft as it had always been.

“It's okay, Alice. Don't be scared. I'm here. No one's going to hurt you.”

But I could already see the red marks on her neck, and every few seconds I caught the scent of Ray's cologne on her skin, and the pressure in my chest was so suffocating I could barely breathe.

Around graduation, Carissa had gushed to me about making progress with the guy she liked.

I kept pressing her for a name, but she hemmed and hawed, refusing to say.

Back then I assumed she was just being shy. Besides, she and Ray had never gotten along, so the thought never even crossed my mind.

When college acceptances came out, both of them missed their top choices and ended up at the same university.

Carissa appointed herself the guardian of my relationship with Ray, reporting his every move to me daily.

What he ate, what he did, who he talked to.

Whether any girls showed up on his social media, how many love letters he received, and how he coolly told every one of them that his girlfriend's name was Alice Garner.

She even told me what color underwear he was wearing on any given day.

I had been living inside the illusion the two of them built for me, grateful to have found two people who loved me so deeply.

Now, thinking it over, what kind of person pays that much attention to her best friend's boyfriend?

A dull ache pressed against my chest. My voice came out laced with venom.

“But what if the person hurting me is you?”

Carissa blinked, then laughed.

“Alice, what are you talking about? I would never hurt you.”

Any other time, I would have believed her.

But this time, I caught the flash of panic across her face.

My nose burned. I let the bitterness spill out.

“Sleeping with my man doesn't count as hurting me?”

“If you wanted him, you should have just said so.”

“Why did you have to do something so cheap and disgusting?”

She stared at me, stunned, then glanced at Ray standing in front of her. Her voice shook.

“Alice, listen to me, I didn't mean to……”

Rage tore through me before I could think, and by the time I registered what I'd done, her head had already snapped to the side from my slap.

“I don't want to hear it, you homewrecker!”

Ray rushed forward and shoved me hard by the shoulders.

“Alice, touch her again and see what happens!”

“Ray, why did you push her?!”

Carissa's eyes were rimmed red, her voice choked as she scolded him.

She hurried over to check on me.

“Alice, where did you fall? Let me see, okay?”

Ray grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, his tone dripping with frustration.

“Carissa, when are you going to start looking out for yourself?”

“She just hit you and you're still fussing over her?”

Carissa yanked her hand free, face full of fury.

“Shut up. You know Alice's health is fragile!”

“Did you really have to tell her all that today, of all days?”

“Ray, is there something wrong with your head?!”

I sat crumpled on the ground, watching the two of them fight over me.

The feeling was nothing like all those years before.

Back then, they fought for me.

Now, they fought because of me.

The scraped skin on my palm stung in waves, but it was nothing compared to one ten-thousandth of the pain in my chest.

I pulled myself up slowly, wiped the tears off my face, and turned to leave.

I barely made it a few steps before voices called out from the side.

“Alice? Long time no see!”

“Are you here for Ray and Carissa's marriage registration?”

“It's been years since graduation and the three of you are still so close. That's honestly so sweet.”

I looked up at the sound and recognized a few old classmates. Their words sank in slowly, and I frowned.

“What did you just say?”

“Come on, you still don't know? Ray and your best friend Carissa have been together forever.”

“I went to the storage room to grab something for a teacher once and walked in on them kissing. Ray even paid me five hundred bucks to keep my mouth shut.”

“Oh, and Ray changed his college application at the last minute so he could go to the same school as Carissa.”

“Those four years, the two of them were basically the golden couple on campus.”

She pulled up their joint account and showed it to me, the one where they'd documented their relationship.

“Look at this. Jealous yet? You should find someone of your own instead of being a third wheel all the time.”

Four years. Over a thousand posts.

Every video, every photo, the way they looked at each other only growing fonder with time.

All those important moments Ray had canceled on me, one after another, he'd been spending them with Carissa.

He kept her in the open, lavishing her with affection for the whole world to see.

And me? I was the one who didn't belong.

Something inside my chest tore wide open, and the pain was so fierce I couldn't breathe.

Back then, I'd been naive enough to believe Ray really had missed his target score, that it was just bad luck he didn't get into the same university as me.

But now, thinking back to the gap between our scores, he could have easily gotten in. He chose not to.

Carissa caught up to us and saw the screen. She rushed to explain.

“Alice, don't overthink this. Ray and I got photographed once and it went a little viral, so I……”

“Carissa, drop the act.”

“If I'd known you were this shameless, I never should have saved you. I should have let you die there!”

My eyes were bloodshot. The words ripped out of me in a scream.

Carissa flinched like I'd struck her. Her mouth opened, then closed. Tears streaming down her face, she flagged a cab and left.

Ray's brow furrowed hard, his expression darkening in an instant, voice thick with disgust.

“Alice, when did you become this vicious?”

“Just because you saved Carissa once, she has to give in to you on everything? Hand over everything she has?”

“Do you have any idea how hard these years have been for her?”

His words lodged in my throat like wet cotton, bitter and suffocating.

He could see everything Carissa did. He couldn't see a single thing I'd endured.

He tossed my bag back at me.

“I'm going to check on Carissa. Get yourself home.”

I watched him walk away without looking back, and something in me finally gave. I crouched on the curb and wailed.

I cried until I couldn't feel my hands or feet, hyperventilating so badly that everything went black.

When I came to, I was in a hospital.

No one beside me. Not a single message on my phone.

I thought of my mom waiting for me at home and got up to pay the bill at the front desk.

But the doctor walked in first and handed me a lab report.

“Ms. Garner, congratulations. You're pregnant.”

“The pregnancy is still very early, and given that your overall health isn't the strongest, you'll need to rest and keep up with your checkups.”

“You can't let your emotions run this high. What happened to you today wasn't good for you or the baby.”

I took the paper with trembling hands. My voice barely made it past my throat.

“You're saying I'm pregnant?”

“Are you sure there's no mistake?”

“I was injured before I turned eighteen. The doctors told me back then that my chances of conceiving were almost nonexistent.”

The doctor was a kind, older woman. She smiled gently as she reassured me.

“Almost nonexistent isn't impossible. Try not to overthink it. Just take good care of yourself.”

I sat on the hospital bed, one hand pressed against my still-flat stomach, crying and laughing at the same time.

Why did you have to come now, of all times?

I'd barely stepped out of the hospital, hadn't even had time to hail a cab, when Ray came storming toward me.

Before I could say a word, he grabbed me and shoved me into the car, rough and wordless.

The car tore through the streets and pulled up in front of a private hospital.

My heart dropped like a stone. Dread flooded through me, and my eyes burned red in an instant.