Chapter 4

The text arrived at five-forty in the morning.

*Stuck at the office — morning crisis, can't get out of it. So sorry. Save me some turkey?*

I read it in the dark. Didn't answer. Set my phone face-down on the nightstand and stared at the ceiling.

Thanksgiving. The one morning all year I'd asked him to keep clear. I'd mentioned it three times. Circled it on the calendar in red. He'd nodded every time, said of course, said he wouldn't miss it.

I got up. Put on jeans and the heavy sweater that used to be his. Made coffee I didn't drink. Sat at the kitchen table watching the window go from black to gray.

The knock came at six.

Ambrose stood in the hallway holding a thermos and two blankets, dressed like someone who'd been awake for hours. He didn't ask if Gavin had canceled. He didn't need to.

'There's a place I know,' he said. 'Above the river. Good view.'

I got my coat.

We didn't talk on the drive. The city was empty, the streets still dark, the kind of quiet that only happens a few times a year. He drove steady and unhurried, one hand on the wheel, and I watched the buildings slide past and felt something in my chest unclench.

The overlook was a small pullout on a winding road above the Hudson. No one else was there. Ambrose parked facing east and we climbed onto the hood, spreading the blankets across the cold metal. He opened the thermos and the smell of good coffee filled the air.

We sat. The sky was still dark but the edge of it had started to pale. I pulled the blanket tighter and took the thermos when he passed it. The coffee was perfect. Hot and strong and exactly what I needed.

'You didn't have to do this,' I said.

He looked at me. 'I know.'

'Thank you.'

He nodded once and turned back to the horizon.

The light came slowly. First gray, then silver, then a thin line of gold that grew and spread until the whole sky caught fire. The river turned bronze. The city behind us went from shadow to shape. I watched it happen and felt my throat tighten.

I'd wanted this. For so long. I'd told Gavin about it on our second anniversary — this exact thing, watching the sunrise over the water, starting the day somewhere beautiful and quiet. He'd said we'd do it. He'd promised.

And here I was. With someone else. Someone who remembered.

I passed the thermos back to Ambrose. Our hands brushed. He didn't pull away and neither did I.

'It's good,' I said quietly.

'Yeah,' he said. 'It is.'

We stayed until the sun was fully up and the cold had seeped through the blankets. Then we folded everything carefully, got back in the car, and drove into the waking city.

---

That evening, we went back.

The fireworks started at eight. The crowd gathered thick along the waterfront, families and couples and groups of friends bundled against the cold. Ambrose found a spot near the railing and I stood beside him, close enough that our shoulders touched.

The first burst went up with a crack that I felt in my chest. Gold and white, spreading wide, then gone. The crowd made a sound — awe and delight and something like relief. Another followed. Then another. Red and blue and shimmering silver.

Someone pushed past and I stumbled slightly. Ambrose steadied me without looking, his hand light on my arm. I stayed where I was. Closer now. The noise and the light and the cold all blurred together.

When the next burst came — green and gold, so bright it hurt — I let my head rest against his shoulder.

He went very still. Didn't move. Didn't speak. Just stood there, solid and warm, while the sky lit up over the water and the crowd cheered and I closed my eyes and felt, for the first time in months, like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

The finale came in waves. Color on color, sound on sound, until the whole sky was burning. Then it was over. The crowd began to drift. Ambrose shifted slightly and I lifted my head.

We didn't say anything. We didn't need to.

We walked back through the thinning crowd, hands in our pockets, not touching but not far apart.

---

Gavin came home at ten-thirty.

I heard his key in the lock. His footsteps in the hall. He appeared in the kitchen doorway holding grocery store flowers — the kind they sell in plastic sleeves near the register — and wearing the expression of a man who knows he messed up but hopes it's fixable.

'I'm sorry,' he said. 'It was a nightmare. The client called at five and I couldn't—' He stopped. Set the flowers on the counter. 'Did you eat?'

'I'm fine.'

'I brought pie. Pumpkin. Your favorite.'

I looked at the flowers. At the pie. At him.

'Thank you,' I said.

I put the flowers in a vase. Put the pie in the fridge. He hovered, uncertain, waiting for me to say more. When I didn't, he kissed the top of my head and went upstairs.

I stayed in the kitchen. Rinsed the vase. Wiped down the counter. Turned off the lights one by one.

When I finally went to bed, Gavin was already asleep, one arm flung across my side of the mattress. I moved it gently and lay on my back in the dark.

I hadn't thought about him once today. Not during the sunrise. Not during the fireworks. Not during any of the moments that mattered.

I closed my eyes.

And I realized I didn't mind.

Chapter 5

The assisted living facility always smelled the same. Lavender and floor polish and something underneath that I didn't have a name for. Old air, maybe. Time moving differently.

I signed in at the front desk and took the stairs to the second floor. Mom's room was at the end of the hall, the one with the window facing the courtyard. I knocked twice and pushed the door open.

She was in her chair by the window, knitting. The afternoon light made her hair look thinner than it was. She looked up when I came in and smiled.

'Rosemary.'

'Hi, Mom.'

I set my bag down and kissed her cheek. Sat in the chair across from her. She kept knitting — something blue, long and uneven, the kind of project that had no deadline and no particular purpose.

'How are you?' I asked.

'Fine. Same as always.' She glanced at me, then back at her needles. 'You look tired.'

'I'm okay.'

'How's Gavin?'

'He's good. Busy with work.'

She nodded. Didn't press. We talked about small things. The weather. The new nurse on her floor. The Christmas decorations going up too early in the common room. I performed cheerfulness the way I always did, and she let me, and the whole visit felt like a script we'd both memorized.

When I left, she was still knitting. I kissed her cheek again and told her I'd be back soon.

She said, 'I know.'

I made it to the car before the tightness in my chest turned into something I couldn't ignore.

---

The second visit was different.

Ambrose came with me. I hadn't planned to ask him. It just came out one afternoon over coffee — 'I'm seeing my mom Thursday' — and he'd said, 'Can I come?' like it was the simplest thing in the world.

We drove in silence. He didn't ask questions. Didn't fill the quiet. Just drove steady and calm, the way he did everything.

Mom was in the same chair. Same knitting. She looked up when we came in and her eyes went to Ambrose first, curious but not surprised.

'Mom, this is Ambrose.'

He stepped forward and shook her hand gently. 'It's good to meet you, Mrs. Dean.'

'Lenora,' she said. 'Sit.'

We sat. I talked for a few minutes — nothing important, just filling space — and then a nurse knocked and asked if I could step out to sign some paperwork. I hesitated. Ambrose looked at me and nodded once.

I left them alone.

When I came back fifteen minutes later, I stopped in the doorway.

Ambrose was sitting on the footstool beside her chair, holding one end of her yarn. She was trying to untangle a knot, and he was helping — patient, unhurried, his head bent close to hers. They were talking quietly. I couldn't hear the words but I could hear the tone. Easy. Unguarded.

Mom laughed. A real laugh, soft and surprised.

I stood there watching them and something in my chest cracked open.

Ambrose looked up and saw me. He didn't startle. Just held my gaze for a moment, then turned back to the yarn.

I walked in and sat down. Mom glanced at me, her face open in a way I hadn't seen in years.

'He's good with knots,' she said.

'I can see that.'

We stayed another hour. When we left, Mom held Ambrose's hand a little longer than necessary and said, 'Come back.'

He said, 'I will.'

---

We didn't talk on the drive back. Not for a long time. The highway stretched out gray and endless and I watched the trees blur past.

'What are you thinking?' Ambrose asked finally. His voice was quiet.

I didn't look at him. 'That she's the loneliest person I know. And I've been terrified of becoming her.'

He didn't answer right away. When he did, his voice was even softer. 'I know.'

I turned my head and looked out the window. The silence between us wasn't empty. It was full of everything we weren't saying. Everything we didn't need to.

I pressed my forehead against the glass and closed my eyes.

---

The third visit, I went alone.

Mom was knitting again. I sat across from her and we talked about nothing for twenty minutes. Then she set down her needles and looked at me.

'Rosemary.'

Something in her voice made me sit up straighter.

She reached across and took my hand. Her fingers were thin and cool and steadier than I expected.

'I spent thirty years holding onto something that was already gone,' she said. Her voice was quiet but clear. 'Don't you do the same thing I did.'

I stared at her. My throat closed.

She squeezed my hand once, then let go and picked up her knitting.

I sat there for another ten minutes. Then I kissed her cheek and left.

That night, I sat at the kitchen table with my laptop open. The cursor blinked on a blank document.

I started typing.

*Rosemary Morgan. Professional Experience.*

I wrote until midnight. Rewrote until two. By the time I closed the laptop, I had a resume that didn't apologize for a single year I'd spent at home.

I had reframed every piece of it. Every dinner party I'd hosted. Every trend I'd researched. Every quiet observation I'd made about what women wanted and what brands failed to give them.

I read it over once more. Then I saved it and shut the computer.

In the bedroom, Gavin was asleep. I stood in the doorway and looked at him for a long time.

Then I turned off the light and went to bed.

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