Chapter 4
The boutique smelled like cedar and money. Soft lighting, ivory walls, racks of white dresses arranged like a congregation waiting for a bride who believed in all of this.
I didn't anymore.
Dara Whitfield met me at the door. She was maybe forty, with sharp eyes and a careful smile. She'd helped me twice before—back when I was blind and Liam would bring me in, guiding my hand to fabrics, describing necklines I couldn't see. She remembered me. I could tell by the way her smile stiffened just slightly when I walked in alone.
"Ms. Vasquez." She clasped her hands. "We have several beautiful options pulled for you today. The Vera, the Monique, and the—"
"I don't want white," I said.
She blinked. "I'm sorry?"
"Any of them. I don't want white." I looked around the room. All that white. All that hope stitched into silk and tulle. "Show me something black."
A beat. She studied my face. I let her. I stood there in my coat with my cane in my hand—the cane I didn't need anymore but still carried like a loaded gun—and I waited.
"Of course," she said quietly. "Give me just a moment."
She disappeared into the back. I walked to the mirror and looked at myself. I'd been doing that a lot. Seven years without mirrors, and now I couldn't stop. My face looked older than I expected. Not in a bad way. Just honest. Like it had earned something.
Dara came back with a gown draped over both arms. Black crepe. Structured bodice. And the back—the back plunged all the way down to the base of the spine, held together by a single thin strap across the shoulder blades.
I stepped into it without a word.
The zipper stopped halfway. Dara's hands paused.
I knew why.
The scar ran from my right shoulder blade down to my left hip. Long and jagged and pale against my skin. The souvenir from seven years ago, from the night I threw myself between Liam and a windshield that wasn't meant for me. The doctors said I was lucky to survive. Liam said I was his hero. He said it at the hospital. He said it at the rehabilitation center. He said it at least once a year, usually around the anniversary of the accident, usually in front of people.
He'd never once looked at the scar directly.
Dara zipped the gown the rest of the way. Her hands were steady. Professional. Then she stepped back and we both looked at the mirror.
The scar was the first thing you saw. It cut across all that black fabric like a signature. Like evidence.
Good.
Dara knelt to check the hem. She pinned it in silence. I watched her face in the mirror. She was working carefully, too carefully, the way people do when they're trying not to say something. Then she glanced up.
Her eyes met mine in the glass.
I'd expected pity. I'd braced for it. Instead what I saw was something older and more complicated than that. Recognition. Guilt. The look of a woman who knew something she hadn't said.
I held her gaze. Didn't blink. Didn't look away.
She looked back down at the hem. Then she gave one small nod. Almost nothing. Just a dip of her chin, barely a centimeter.
I understood.
He'd been here. With her. With Haisley. This boutique, these racks, probably this same attendant standing by while another woman tried on things that were never meant for me.
I nodded back. Once.
That was all. No words. No scene. Just two women in a room full of white dresses, one of them kneeling and one of them standing, both of us knowing exactly what kind of man had walked through that door before.
"I'll take it," I said.
---
Liam arrived twenty minutes later.
I was zipping the garment bag when I heard the door. His footsteps. That particular rhythm I'd memorized back when sound was everything. I kept my hands on the zipper and didn't turn around.
"Hey, baby." He crossed the room and kissed the top of my head. Then he saw the bag. "That's the dress?"
"Mm-hm."
He unzipped the top few inches. Saw the black fabric. His hands slowed.
"It's—" He cleared his throat. "It's black."
"I know."
He pulled the zipper down another inch and the back panel came into view. He went very still. I watched his reflection in the mirror. The flicker across his face—discomfort, a quick blink, something that looked almost like shame before the mask snapped back into place.
He rezipped the bag. Smiled. "You sure about the color? It's a wedding, Etta. People might—"
"I've never been more sure of anything." I tilted my face up toward his voice. Not quite at his eyes. Just past them. Old habit. "Don't you think it suits me?"
He looked at me for a moment. Something moved behind his eyes that he didn't let reach his mouth.
"Sure," he said. "Yeah. If that's what you want."
"It is," I said.
He carried the garment bag to the car. He held the door open for me. He called me baby twice more on the drive home.
His smile didn't reach his eyes once.
I watched it the whole way.
Chapter 5
The balcony door clicked shut at eleven-thirty.
I was in bed. Eyes closed. Breathing slow and even like I'd been asleep for an hour. Liam moved quiet across the apartment—the kind of quiet people use when they think someone can't see them. I heard the clink of glass. The bourbon bottle. The scrape of the balcony door.
I waited thirty seconds. Then I got up.
No cane. No sound. I walked to the hallway and stood in the dark where the light from the living room didn't reach. My phone was already in my hand. One tap. Recording.
His voice came through the glass, low and tired.
"After Friday, we're done with this circus."
A pause. He was listening to her on the other end. I could picture Haisley curled up somewhere, smiling that smile she thought I couldn't see.
"I know," he said. "I know, baby. I'm so tired of playing nurse."
Another pause. Longer this time. Then he laughed. Quiet. Bitter.
"She won't do anything. She's blind, Haisley. What is she going to do?"
I lowered the phone. My thumb found the stop button. I stood there in the dark hallway of the apartment where I'd lived for seven years and I felt something crack open in my chest. Not grief. Something colder than that. Something final.
I walked back to the bedroom. Opened the cloud folder. Uploaded the recording. Then I lay down and stared at the ceiling—white, textured, beautiful—and breathed slowly until the urge to scream passed.
It took four minutes.
---
Morning came with coffee and lies.
Liam kissed my forehead and told me the rehearsal gathering was at seven. He said it would be small. Close friends. Low-key. Then he paused at the door and added, almost casual, "Haisley's coming, by the way. As maid of honor. She insisted."
I smiled. "That's so sweet of her."
He left. I listened to the door close. The elevator chime. The quiet that followed.
Then I got dressed.
I chose a simple dress. Navy blue. Fitted but not tight. Elegant. The kind of thing that wouldn't draw attention but also wouldn't apologize for being in the room. I did my makeup in the mirror—something I still wasn't used to, the luxury of seeing my own face—and kept it clean. Understated.
Liam came home at six to change. He stood at the bathroom mirror and knotted his tie. I stood behind him and watched his reflection. Really watched it. The careful way he adjusted the knot. The practiced tilt of his chin. The smile he tried on twice before settling on the right one.
I memorized it. Every angle. Every micro-movement. The exact architecture of his performance.
"You look beautiful," he said, meeting my eyes in the mirror.
I tilted my face up toward his voice. Not quite at his eyes. Just past them.
"Thank you," I said.
He turned and kissed me. Soft. Gentle. The kiss of a man who loved me.
I felt nothing.
---
The lounge was all dark wood and low lighting. Private room on the second floor of a place in Tribeca that cost more per hour than most people made in a week. Liam guided me in with his hand on my elbow, my cane tapping the floor in that familiar rhythm I'd perfected over seven years.
Our friends were already there. Marcus Vane. A few others from Liam's firm. College friends I hadn't seen in years. They smiled when they saw us. Called out greetings. Liam waved and steered me toward the corner booth.
I greeted everyone with warmth. Hugged the ones who came close. Laughed at the right moments. My cane stayed in my left hand. My right hand accepted a champagne flute from someone I didn't bother to identify.
I held the glass. I didn't drink.
Haisley arrived twenty minutes later.
I heard her before I saw her. The particular click of her heels. The shift in Liam's posture beside me. I turned my face toward the sound and smiled.
She wore red. Of course she did. A dress that clung and shimmered and demanded to be noticed. She crossed the room and hugged me, her perfume wrapping around us both like evidence.
"Etta, you look amazing," she said into my ear.
"So do you," I said back.
She pulled away and touched Liam's elbow as she passed. Just a brush of fingers. Casual. Familiar. I watched it happen. Watched his hand twitch toward hers before he caught himself.
Across the room, Marcus Vane saw it too. I watched the flicker move across his face—confusion, then unease, then something that looked like understanding before he buried it fast and reached for his drink.
The room hummed. Champagne and laughter and performance. Everyone playing their parts.
I sat in the corner booth with my cane against my knee and my champagne untouched and I watched them all.
Two more hours.
That was all I needed.