Chapter 2
Kayden brought her home on a Thursday.
I was in the kitchen when I heard the elevator. My mother was arranging flowers at the island. White roses. She looked up when the doors opened.
Kayden walked in first. Then her.
Estrella Garza was taller than I remembered. Dark hair swept over one shoulder. Red dress that probably cost more than my camera. She smiled at my mother like they were old friends.
"Mrs. Montgomery," she said warmly. "It's been too long."
My mother set down the roses. "Estrella. What a lovely surprise."
"I hope you don't mind." Kayden's hand rested on the small of Estrella's back. Proprietary. Deliberate. "I wanted to share some news."
He looked at me then. Held my gaze. Waited.
I was holding a coffee mug. Still warm. I set it down carefully on the counter.
"We're engaged," Estrella said. She lifted her left hand. Diamond the size of a knuckle. "As of last night."
My mother made a soft sound. Surprise or pleasure or both. She moved around the island to embrace Estrella. Said something about how wonderful it was. How happy she was for them.
Kayden was still watching me.
I picked up my mug again. Took a sip. The coffee had gone cold.
"Congratulations," I said.
My voice was steady. Calm. I looked at Estrella when I said it. Not at Kayden.
Estrella's smile widened. "Thank you, Lena. That's very sweet."
I nodded. Set the mug down again. Started to turn.
"We're planning a party," Estrella continued. "My birthday's in two weeks. We thought we'd combine the celebrations. Engagement and birthday together."
"That sounds nice," I said.
"It's going to be at the rooftop venue in Tribeca," she went on. "The one overlooking the Hudson. Two hundred guests. Full catering. Live band."
I reached for the dish towel. Wiped my hands. "I'm sure it'll be beautiful."
"Actually—" Estrella tilted her head. "I heard you do photography now. Freelance work."
I looked at her. She was still smiling. Bright. Interested.
"I do," I said.
"Would you be available?" she asked. "For the party? We'd pay your rate, of course. I've seen some of your event work online. It's quite good."
My mother glanced at me. Something uncertain in her expression.
Kayden said nothing. His jaw was tight.
I folded the towel. Set it on the counter. "What's the date?"
Estrella told me. I pulled out my phone. Checked my calendar. The date was open. I'd kept it open on purpose. Flight to London was two days after.
"I'm available," I said. "Send me the details and I'll draw up a contract."
"Wonderful." Estrella clasped her hands together. "This is going to be perfect."
I picked up my camera bag from the chair. "I have a shoot in Brooklyn. I should go."
"Of course," my mother said. "Drive safe, sweetheart."
I walked toward the elevator. Pressed the button. The doors opened immediately.
Kayden's voice followed me. "Lena."
I stopped. Didn't turn around.
"Congratulations," I said again. Then I stepped inside and the doors closed.
---
I didn't go to Brooklyn.
I went to the storage unit near JFK. Unlocked the door. Stood in the small space surrounded by boxes I'd been packing for weeks.
I sat on the concrete floor. Pulled my knees to my chest.
I still didn't cry.
---
The next morning, I woke up at six. Showered. Made coffee. Sat at my desk and opened my laptop.
I heard the bathroom door open behind me.
I didn't turn around.
Kayden stood in the doorway. I could see his reflection in the dark screen of my laptop. He was wearing the shirt he'd worn yesterday. Hair uncombed. He looked like he hadn't slept.
"You're not going to say anything?" he asked.
His voice was different. Compressed. Hard. But underneath—something else. Something I didn't have a name for.
I zipped my camera bag. Checked the lens caps. "About what?"
Silence.
I stood. Slung the bag over my shoulder. Turned to face him.
He was watching me the way you watch something you're trying to solve. Figure out. Control.
"About Estrella," he said.
I looked at him. Really looked. At the man who'd slipped into my room at two a.m. for five years. Who'd whispered promises in the dark. Who'd held me like I mattered.
Who'd told Daniel Holt it was never real.
"She seems nice," I said. "I hope you'll be very happy."
I walked past him. Close enough to smell his cologne. The same one he'd been wearing the night I stood outside his study holding coffee that burned my hands.
He didn't move. Didn't reach for me. Didn't say my name again.
I walked out of my room. Down the hall. Into the elevator.
The doors closed.
I rode down forty-three floors in silence.
When I reached the lobby, I pulled out my phone. Opened my banking app. The separate account. The one with just my name.
Balance: $847,000.
I had eight weeks left.
I put my phone away and walked out into the cold.
Chapter 3
Estrella moved into the guest suite on a Saturday morning. She arrived with six suitcases and a decorator.
I was in my room editing photos when I heard her voice in the hallway. Bright. Cheerful. Talking to my mother about throw pillows.
I saved my work and closed my laptop.
By evening, the guest suite looked like a magazine spread. White furniture. Gold accents. Fresh peonies on every surface. Estrella stood in the doorway admiring it while Kayden leaned against the frame beside her.
"Perfect," she said.
He kissed her temple.
I walked past them to get water from the kitchen. Neither one looked at me.
The first incident happened on Monday.
I'd left my portfolio prints on the dining table to dry. Twenty prints. My best work from the last two years. I was submitting them with my UCL application as supplementary material.
Estrella was hosting a lunch. Four women from her charity board. I heard them in the living room when I came back from a shoot.
I walked into the dining room and stopped.
Red wine. Across all twenty prints. The liquid had soaked through the paper and pooled on the table underneath.
Estrella appeared in the doorway. Hand over her mouth. Eyes wide.
"Oh my God." She rushed forward. "Lena, I'm so sorry. I was gesturing and the glass just—I didn't see them there."
I stood very still. Looked at the ruined prints. Two years of work. The best frame I'd ever captured of a bride in Central Park. A street portrait in Chinatown that had won a small award. A sunset over the Brooklyn Bridge that I'd taken the week after my father died.
Gone.
"It was an accident," Kayden said from behind me.
I turned. He was standing in the archway. Arms crossed. Expression flat.
"I know," I said.
Estrella touched my arm. "I'll pay for reprints. Whatever you need."
"They were originals," I said. "There are no reprints."
Her hand dropped. "I really am sorry."
I picked up the least damaged print. Held it by the corner. Wine dripped onto the floor.
"It's fine," I said.
I carried the prints to my room. Laid them on my desk. Sat down and looked at them for a long time.
Then I opened my laptop and started editing backups. I had digital files. I could print new ones. It would cost money I'd been saving for London. But I could do it.
I worked until three in the morning.
The next day, I shot a wedding in Brooklyn. Deposited the check on my way home.
Balance: $923,000.
---
The second incident happened on Wednesday.
I came home from a corporate event in Midtown and found my camera bag moved. It had been on the chair by the window in the living room. Now it was on the floor by the coat closet.
Estrella was on the couch with a magazine. She looked up when I walked in.
"Oh, I hope you don't mind," she said. "I tidied up a bit. There was so much clutter."
I looked at my bag. Then at the chair. My laptop case was gone too. I found it in the hallway closet. Under a stack of Estrella's shopping bags.
"The living room is a shared space," Estrella continued. "I thought it would be nice to keep it presentable. For guests."
Kayden walked in from his study. Loosening his tie.
"Everything okay?" he asked.
I pulled my laptop case from under the shopping bags. "Fine."
Estrella smiled at him. "I was just explaining that I tidied up."
He glanced at me. Then at her. "Makes sense."
I picked up my camera bag. Carried both to my room. Closed the door.
I didn't say anything.
I had six weeks left.
---
On Friday, I overheard her in the kitchen. Talking to one of her friends on the phone. I was in the hallway. She didn't know I was there.
"It's exhausting," Estrella said. Laughing. "She's always around. Kayden says she's the stepsister who never learned to take a hint."
Silence while the friend responded.
"I know," Estrella said. "But she'll be gone soon. She's applying to schools abroad. Kayden told me."
I stood in the hallway until she hung up. Then I walked into the kitchen.
She turned. Smiled. "Lena. I didn't hear you come in."
"I'm going out," I said. "I have a shoot."
"Of course," she said. "You're always working. It's admirable."
I picked up my keys from the counter. Walked out.
I shot a wedding in Queens. A small ceremony. Fifty guests. The bride cried during the vows. The groom held her hands and smiled.
I captured it all. Every frame clean. Every moment documented.
I deposited the check on Monday.
Balance: $1,150,000.
---
The gala was on a Thursday.
I arrived at the rooftop venue at five. The space was already transformed. Crystal chandeliers. White roses everywhere. Tables set with gold flatware. The Hudson stretched out below, glittering in the last light.
Two hundred guests. All of them dressed like they'd walked off a runway.
I wore black. Comfortable shoes. My camera bag over my shoulder.
The event coordinator found me immediately. Handed me a shot list. "We need candids during cocktail hour. Formal group shots at seven. Then the highlight reel."
"What's the highlight reel?" I asked.
She checked her clipboard. "Kayden and Estrella. Center frame. A kiss. It's for the slideshow."
I looked at the list. Nodded. "Got it."
I worked the room. Captured guests arriving. Estrella greeting people at the entrance. Kayden shaking hands with men in expensive suits. The band setting up. The bartender pouring champagne.
At seven, I shot the formal groups. Estrella with her family. Kayden with his father. The two of them together, his arm around her waist.
I checked every frame. Adjusted lighting. Moved on.
At eight, the coordinator found me again. "We're ready for the highlight shot."
I followed her to the center of the room. Kayden and Estrella were already there. Waiting.
Estrella's dress was silver. Backless. Her hair pinned up. She looked like someone who'd been preparing for this moment her entire life.
Kayden wore a black suit. No tie. Top button undone. He looked at me as I approached.
I raised my camera. Adjusted the settings. "Whenever you're ready."
Estrella turned to Kayden. Smiled. Lifted her face.
He kissed her.
I looked through the viewfinder. Found the focus. His hand on her waist. Her fingers on his chest. The chandelier above them casting light across their faces.
I held his gaze through the lens for exactly one second.
He was watching me. Even with Estrella in his arms. Even in the middle of the kiss. His eyes were on mine.
Searching. Testing. Waiting for the crack.
I adjusted my focus to Estrella's jawline. Took three clean frames. Checked the preview screen.
Perfect exposure. Sharp focus. Everything in frame.
I lowered the camera. "Got it."
I moved to the next setup without another word.
---
I got home at midnight. The penthouse was dark except for the kitchen.
I set my camera bag on the counter. Pulled out my laptop. Started uploading the evening's files to the client drive.
The bathroom door opened behind me. Kayden.
He walked to the bar cart. Poured himself a drink. Stood at the floor-to-ceiling window with his back to me.
I watched the upload progress bar. Seventy percent.
Silence.
"You were good tonight," he said finally.
His voice was careful. Measured. Like he was complimenting a stranger.
Eighty percent.
"It's what you paid me for," I said.
Ninety percent.
He didn't turn around. Just stood there. Glass in hand. Looking at the city below.
One hundred percent.
I closed my laptop. Unplugged my hard drive. Packed my camera.
I picked up my bag and walked toward my room.
"Lena," he said.
I stopped. Didn't turn around.
Silence.
I waited. Five seconds. Ten.
He didn't say anything else.
I walked to my room. Closed the door. Locked it.
I set my equipment on my desk. Sat down. Opened my banking app.
Balance: $1,220,000.
I had five weeks left.
I closed the app. Turned off the light. Lay down in the dark.
I still didn't cry.
Chapter 4
I took the subway to Green-Wood Cemetery on a Tuesday morning. The columbarium was in the older section. Marble and stained glass. Quiet.
I came every year on this day. Brought white chrysanthemums. My father's favorite.
The space was empty when I arrived. Just me and the rows of urns set into the walls. I found his. Third row. Center. The brass plate still shone.
*Jared Mitchell. Beloved father and friend.*
I set the flowers in the small vase beneath his name. Sat on the bench across from him.
"Hi, Dad," I said quietly.
I told him about London. About the acceptance letter. About the flat Rosa had arranged. I didn't tell him about Kayden. He already knew. I could feel it in the stillness.
I sat there for twenty minutes. Maybe longer. The light through the stained glass made patterns on the floor. Red and gold and blue.
I heard heels on marble before I saw her.
Estrella walked in like she'd been invited. White coat. Black gloves. Hair perfect.
She smiled when she saw me. "Lena. I thought I might find you here."
I stood slowly. "How did you know I'd be here?"
"I saw it in your calendar," she said. Casual. Easy. "On the kitchen iPad. You'd circled today's date."
I said nothing.
She moved through the space with her head tilted. Examining the urns like they were art in a gallery. Her gloved fingers traced the edge of a marble shelf.
"It's smaller than I imagined," she said. "For someone who apparently meant so much."
I kept my hands folded. Kept my eyes on my father's urn.
Footsteps behind me. Heavier.
Kayden.
He stopped in the doorway. Looked at Estrella. Then at me.
"You texted me," he said to Estrella.
She turned. Smiled. "I thought you'd want to be here. For Lena. It's a difficult day."
I didn't look at him. I sat back down on the bench. Looked at the chrysanthemums.
Estrella moved closer to my father's shelf. She leaned in. Pretended to read the inscription.
"Jared Mitchell," she read aloud. "What did he do? For work?"
"He was a photographer," I said quietly.
"Oh." She straightened. "That's where you get it."
She stepped back. Her heel caught on nothing. The stumble was slow. Practiced. A half-second too long.
Her shoulder hit the shelf.
My father's urn tipped forward.
I lunged. Too late.
The ceramic struck the marble floor. The sound was clean. Final.
It shattered.
Ash spread across the white marble in a gray arc. Pieces of ceramic scattered. The brass nameplate skidded toward the wall.
I dropped to my knees.
My hands were shaking. I reached for the ashes. Tried to gather them. But they slipped through my fingers. Dust. Nothing.
Behind me, Estrella gasped. High. Pained.
"My ankle," she said. "I think I twisted it."
I kept my eyes on the floor. On the gray dust that used to be my father.
Kayden moved past me. I felt the air shift.
He didn't look at the ashes. Didn't look at me on my knees. He crouched beside Estrella.
"Let me see," he said.
His voice was soft. Concerned. The voice he used to use with me.
Estrella leaned into him. "It hurts."
He slipped one arm under her knees. One behind her back. Lifted her like she weighed nothing.
"I've got you," he murmured against her hair.
He carried her toward the exit. She rested her head on his shoulder. Her eyes were closed.
At the door, he paused.
Not to look back at me. Not to say anything.
Just to adjust his grip.
Then they were gone.
I knelt alone on the marble floor. Ashes on my hands. Pieces of ceramic cutting into my knees.
I tried again to gather the dust. Cupped my palms. But there was nothing to hold. Just gray powder that stuck to my skin and disappeared.
The light through the stained glass had shifted. The red pattern stretched across the floor now. Across the ashes. Across my hands.
I don't know how long I stayed there.
Eventually, a staff member came. An older man with kind eyes. He brought a small brush and a container.
"Let me help," he said gently.
I moved aside. Watched him sweep the ashes carefully into the container. He worked slowly. Methodically. Got every bit he could.
When he finished, he handed me the container. "I'm very sorry for your loss."
I took it. The weight was wrong. Too light. But I held it carefully.
"Thank you," I whispered.
He nodded and left me alone again.
I sat on the bench. Held the container in my lap. Looked at the empty space on the shelf where my father's urn used to be.
The chrysanthemums were still there. White petals against dark marble.
I stayed until the light changed again. Until the columbarium was dim.
Then I stood. Picked up the container. Walked out into the cold.
I took the subway home. Held the container against my chest the entire way.
When I got back to the penthouse, it was dark. Everyone was out.
I went to my room. Set the container on my desk. Sat down and looked at it.
Then I opened my laptop. Checked my flight confirmation.
January sixteenth. Four weeks away.
I opened my banking app.
Balance: $1,220,000.
I closed the laptop. Turned off the light.
I lay in bed in the dark. Stared at the ceiling.
And finally, for the first time in months, I cried.