Since I was a child, my mother had a strong desire to control me.

　　She made a rule that I had to drink a glass of milk every day, even if I would vomit after drinking it.

　　The girls around me were all dating, but my mom forbade me from talking to boys.

　　She even stole a glance at my private diary while I was in school.

　　Then, she flew into a rage and made a scene in my class. She read the diary in public and humiliated me.

　　She said that she gave up her life for me, but I didn't live up to her expectations and regretted giving birth to me.

　　The teacher and classmates were all persuading her. I cried and apologized to her.

　　But she became more and more fierce. She tore my hair hard and called me a good-for-nothing.

　　Later, I jumped down from the sixth floor, and my mother was completely desperate.

　　In my mother's eyes, I was a good-for-nothing.

　　No matter what I did, she was always dissatisfied.

　　I kept my long hair. She thought that I liked to look beautiful and dress up all day, so she didn't care about my studies at all. I cut my short hair, and she despised me. She didn't look like a girl all day long.

　　I hated drinking milk, but she asked me to have a glass of milk every morning with the excuse of growing up.

　　She was not satisfied until I drank up the bottom of the glass.

　　But she didn't see that I vomited many times on the way back from school.

　　Every time, I resisted and said, "Mom, I don't want to drink milk."

　　Mom didn't give me a chance to speak at all.

　　"There are so many things you don't want to do. Drink milk to replenish your nutrition. Your mother spent so much money, but she was reluctant to drink it. Don't be ungrateful."

　　Later on, as time passed, I knew that retorting wouldn't work. I often fell silent.

　　"Mom doesn't allow me to have contact with Grandma. After she divorced Dad, she hated Dad's family without discrimination.

　　But once, Grandma secretly came to school to give me pocket money.

　　She hugged me and told me something that I never knew.

　　It turned out that my mom had given birth to an elder sister before me.

　　Her sister's name was Yvette. She was allergic to milk, but her mother didn't believe her.

　　Every time she drank milk, it wouldn't take long for rashes to appear on her face.

　　Her mother felt that she was allergic because she had drunk too little. After drinking too much, she developed a habit and slowly became less allergic.

　　Grandma and Dad tried to persuade my mother. "The child is allergic. Why don't we not let her drink it."

　　But my mother didn't take it seriously.

　　She had always insisted on her own opinion and believed that she was right.

　　It was not until Yvette finished drinking milk that she went to school alone and fell on the way and never woke up again.

　　Because of this, my father and mother divorced.

　　At that time, I was only one year old.

　　My mom moved out with me and used all her energy to cultivate me.

　　My original name was Lily Chad.

　　But after my mother divorced me, she asked me to change my surname to the same as hers and gave me a new name Chelsea Kurtz.

　　She really hoped that my future would be bright.

　　But I seemed to have been disappointing her.

　　Every time before the exam, my mom would burn incense to worship Buddha and put on a special suits to cheer for me.

　　She posted a slogan on her Instagram, saying, "Chelsea, you'll definitely get first place in the exam!"

　　However, there was an unsurpassable first place in our class. Even if I stayed up late until two o'clock in the morning and spent all my time studying, I would always be the second in the class.

　　Every time they got the test papers and scores, other students were happy.

　　Only I was so disappointed that I wanted to cry.

　　My good friend, Syanna, ranked 10th in the class this time. She called her parents and told them that her parents happily rewarded her with KFC and promised to take her out to play.

　　I could even imagine how furious my mom would be if she found out about my grades.

　　After school, I wandered on the road for a long time and didn't go home until it was almost dark.

　　Sure enough, what greeted me was a torrent of abuse.

　　"You only came back when it was dark. Where did you go?"

　　"You're just a little girl. Why are you dawdling outside after school? Don't you feel ashamed if your neighbors see you gossip everywhere!"

　　Every time, she would think of a lot of new and unpleasant words to insult me from all sides.

　　Everyone was at a loss where to stand and wished they could find a hole to hide in.

　　I clutched the corner of my clothes, feeling inferior all over.

　　In the end, I hemmed and hawed. "Mom, there's a parents' meeting tomorrow afternoon."

　　My mother took the report and looked at it. Her face suddenly darkened.

　　"Why is you in second place again?"

　　She pointed at me and began to chatter again. "Mom has spent a lot of effort renting a house here to accompany me. Why are you so disappointing?"

　　I lowered my head in shame.

　　But Mom, many students were also envious of my second place result.

　　"Why are you so weak when it comes to you?"

　　I had never expected that my mother would humiliate me at home.

　　When I arrived at the school's parents' meeting, she scolded me again in front of all my classmates and parents.

　　The teacher invited the parents of the first and second students to share the successful experience of educating children on the stage as the parents' representative of the class.

　　But my mother's face was gloomy all the way. "To be honest, Chelsea didn't do well in the exam at all. I'm very dissatisfied."

　　"You may not know, but my family's situation is special. I'm the only one who can support her. I'm gratified that she got the first place in the exam."

　　"But I don't know what's going on. She's always in second place! Every time I get angry, my chest hurts."

　　I bit my lip and sat below the stage.

　　Listening to the whispering of my parents and classmates, I felt extremely inferior.

　　I kept praying in her heart, "Mom, please, stop, stop."

　　At that moment, I felt that death might be a relief.

　　The parents' meeting was finally over.

　　Syanna ran over and handed me an ice cream cone while comforting me.

　　"Chelsea, it's my mother's treat. She's always liked you and we're friends."

　　"She also asked me to tell you not to take what your mother said to heart. It's good enough that you won second place in the exam."

　　I held the ice cream cone gratefully, and my nose couldn't help but ache.

　　I really want Syanna's mother to be my mother too.

　　Perhaps there was a hint of anger in it.

　　In the second monthly exam, I handed in the blank paper directly.

　　If I was not in second place but the last one, I wanted to see how Mom would react.

　　After the results came out, the students were very surprised, but the teacher understood me and sent me to the office to talk.

　　"Chelsea, is there anything happen recently?"

　　"It's obvious that you don't want to take this exam seriously at all. If you need my help, just tell me. I'll see if I can help you solve it."

　　For the first time, I shed tears in front of the teacher.

　　I was thinking.

　　If only my mom was half as gentle as my teacher.

　　When I got home, before I could take out the report, my mother was furious and rushed over to beat me violently.

　　One of the teachers had already called her mother in advance.

　　Before I could finish school, she already knew my grades.

　　The feather duster hit his thigh, quickly leaving a blood-red mark, and then he felt a burning pain.

　　"I told you to give up!"

　　"I told you to deliberately rank last to disgust me!"

　　"I told you."

　　My mom looked at me as if she was looking at an enemy. She hit me with all her strength.

　　Not long after, the pain numbed me.

　　I couldn't remember how many times I was beaten. I lay on the ground with empty eyes and looked at the ceiling.

　　I no longer dodged or resisted.

　　Mom must have been scared by my appearance. She finally stopped and ran to the balcony to cry.

　　When she finished venting her anger, she came to me with a pair of red and swollen eyes, holding a cut fruit.

　　"Chelsea, I was too impulsive just now."

　　"You know, Mom has never done anything bad to you. I just hope that you can get good grades and won't get into college in the future. Only in this way can Mom rest assured."

　　"Who else would care about you if you deliberately took the last place?"

　　Mom hugged me and cried her eyes out.

　　However, I was in a dilemma.

　　Because this kind of familiar scene had been repeated countless times in the past ten years since I grew up.

　　Every time she vented her feelings, her mother would come over and say something soft to me, telling me that she loved me the most in the world and was only concerned about me.

　　But the next time something like this happened, she would only get worse.

　　In the past, I had wanted to escape from this home and my mother's crazy desire for control many times.

　　But I was raised by my mom.

　　"I'm not familiar with my father. Besides, my father is married and has a new family."

　　Where else can I go?　Such days continued for a period of time.

　　I escaped in pain, but I had to accept everything that my mother had instilled into me in the name of love.

　　Later on, I realized that she seemed to be monitoring me from all angles.

　　Through various details and clues, I tried to investigate why I handed in the blank paper.

　　She even sent me to and from school. After I strongly protested, she changed her mind and secretly followed me.

　　As soon as I greeted the male student, he was listed as a suspect and began to chase after me crazily. She even came forward to warn him not to talk to me again and not to affect my studies.

　　Several male students in the class had been warned by her.

　　Slowly, in the class, he would deliberately avoid me.

　　Once, I heard them talking in the corridor when I went to get water.

　　"Chelsea is a good girl, but her mother is too scary."

　　"She's probably a resentful woman after the divorce. She doesn't like anyone every day. I can imagine what kind of life she's living at home."

　　"It's true. Whoever has such a mother will be unlucky."

　　After hearing that, I walked past them and lowered my head.

　　I thought that my mother had gone too far.

　　I didn't expect that she would peek at my diary when I got home.

　　At first, every time I finished writing a diary, I would put it on the second floor of the drawer and put it under a book.

　　But when she got home from school today, she found that it was placed in the middle of the drawer in a mess.

　　I ran over to ask my mom, "Did you touch my diary today?"

　　At first, she lied to me and said that she didn't touch it.

　　However, after arguing for a while, she got angry. She even used the exact words in my diary to mock me.

　　"Look at yourself. How dare you quarrel with your mother? Even if Aiden knows that you like him, will he like you?"

　　I froze on the spot.

　　Cato was the name of the boy I had a crush on.

　　I had never mentioned him to my mother.

　　But it was only written in the diary of secret love.