ESSIE:

"I still don't know how I got mated to someone without a wolf. You are so useless..."

Conrad had repeated those words to me on various occasions reminding me of how much I amount to nothing because I was without a wolf. But now that I am finally getting my wolf, where is he?

It was not a fairytale about how painful the process of having your first shift was. I have heard it many times. But no one ever told me it was this excruciating to the point that I couldn't move my body.

I could feel my bones breaking into pieces and getting attached to each other again. It was always swift and I could not find the breathing space to get used to what was going on.

"Conrad, where are you?" I mouthed through gritted teeth as I lay on the floor while my body went through the changes that would enable me have my wolf for the first time in my twenty one years of living.

If only I could mind link him so he would know I was out here alone and helpless in the woods. At this point, I was vulnerable and anything bad could happen to me.

The mistake I made was going out into the woods alone. My stupid self just had to feel so emotional at the wrong time.

But I couldn't help it. Conrad had left me to be by myself on this special day that was supposed to be my shifting ceremony.

Since I got married to him three years ago after discovering that I was his mate, I have never for once had the convenience of spending time with him. He always looked for a reason to be away and that always hurt me.

I thought today was going to be different since it was a special day. I had already gotten the maids and deltas to prepare a ceremony for today when all of a sudden Conrad woke up and decided to leave the packhouse as usual.

"Where are you going?" I had asked him when he began to step out of the packhouse fully dressed like he had somewhere important to be.

My question must have surprised him because I would never ask him for his destination whenever he left the packhouse. Maybe it was because of the fear I had for him or the fact that I didn't want to get on his bad side.

I thought he was going to snap at me when he turned around to look at me with a frown etched on his face but he simply said, "I have duties to tend to."

Conrad was the alpha of the pack and that meant I was his luna. And as the alpha, whenever he said he had duties, he was talking about his work of overseeing the pack.

"But you haven't had anything to eat," I told him.

"Don't feel like it."

"You—" I had to stop my statement because I could tell that he was getting infuriated. And the longer I kept him waiting, the more infuriated he was going to be.

I just sighed and said nothing else while I watched him step out of the packhouse. That was right after he gave me a once-over that expressed disappointment.

That scenario that had occurred this morning had let me rush out of the packhouse in tears as I drifted into the woods to clear my head. I never knew that would result into something I had totally unplanned.

I first noticed the change in my body when my head starting throbbing as I rested my back on the tree. I thought it was from crying excessively and thought to stand up so I could leave for the packhouse. However, my legs failed me and I fell to the ground with a loud thud. That was what brought me to this present situation.

"What is happening to me?" I had asked myself before realizing the changes were actually me getting my wolf. I knew today was the day I would finally get my wolf but this was unplanned nevertheless.

All of a sudden, I heard sounds of something moving around. At first, hope filled my heart that there was help coming my way. However, that hope changed into despair when I noticed the pattern of the movement.

I would have called out for help with the little strength in me but I knew I needed to stay quiet. My fears came into light when my eyes caught sight of what I guessed was coming at me.

Rogues... Three of them.

Their stench filled the environment and I could almost feel it at the back of my throat.

They rushed at me almost immediately their eyes saw me and I wish I could stand up to defend myself or even escape from here. But my body denied me the chance to do any of that.

As they tore at me with their claws, I could only think of how miserable my existence was.

ESSIE:

I have no idea why I'm here. And I don't think I am familiar with this place.

One thing I am certain of is that this place is somewhere in the pack but where exactly this place is seems to be the problem now for me to comprehend.

Wait, I thought I was dead. How am I here? Those rogues snuffed life out of me during my ordeal with them so how can I still walk around freely?

I was still trying to make sense of my situation when I saw Conrad walking out of the building that I was standing right in front of.

I don't know why I was excited to see him but then I began to rush toward him so he would be aware of my presence. I was already close to where he was when something put me to a halt.

From the same building Conrad stepped out of, I watched as someone else walked out of it. And it wasn't someone unfamiliar... It was the same lady that I told myself that I shouldn't worry about.

Tamar, that's her name. And I watched as Tamar got close to Conrad and touched him on the shoulder.

Conrad had a smile on his face as he turned to look at her. I have not seen him smile in a long time but here he was freely smiling at her like she was his mate or something.

"Are you ready to leave?" Conrad asked her in a tone that was just as calm as his expression. Why doesn't he speak to me that way?

"Can't we stay here a little longer?" Tamar asked in return as she placed both of her hands on his shoulders, locking them behind his neck.

"But we need to get there as early as possible. Wouldn't be cool if we arrived late for a reservation we made by eight. It's almost seven thirty."

"Here you go being the punctual one again," Tamar said teasingly. "And that's one of the things I love about you."

To my surprise, she locked her lips with his and began kissing him. And Conrad didn't take his lips off as he shared the kiss with her.

The scene looked so passionate that for a moment I forgot that it was my mate that was making out with someone else that wasn't me.

I was mad. But then I couldn't be too mad at what was happening.

The truth is I have always suspected Conrad's relationship with Tamar. It was something that was mostly evident but then I chose to believe that it was just my imagination.

Tamar was supposed to be one of his gammas. Of course he was the alpha and needed personal subordinates which was why it wasn't a bad idea if he had a woman as one of them.

I suspected it going out of hand when Tamar became something like his personal assistant and I would watch them going from place to place with one another as if he didn't have a mate.

I never had the courage to challenge him about it because I was scared to even say anything to him. But then here I was watching them kiss right in front of me like my presence didn't matter.

They eventually stopped kissing but it didn't look like they were ready to let each other go. How can Conrad feel so much affection for another when he still had me as his mate?

I was going through a mixture of emotions right now. Jealousy, anger, bitterness, you name it. But as usual, I couldn't confront Conrad.

"Let's go," Conrad told Tamar and took her by the hand. And the next thing I saw was them walking hand-in-hand toward me.

I stood fixated at the spot with my arms folded across my chest. I was going to express myself this time around. Conrad needs to see that I could be furious just like he always was at me.

I was feeling some type of way the closer both of them got to me. And it wasn't that I was scared, but then something just seemed to be off with the whole situation.

They were getting closer and closer and not for once did their expression tell me that they knew I was there.

My brain wasn't comprehending the whole thing until they finally got right in front of me. I expected them to stop but they didn't. No, they didn't.

They bloody walked right through me like I was not there.

They walked right through me. Wait, they really walked right through me like nothing happened.

It didn't take me too long to understand the situation. The horrifying truth finally dawned on me.

I was dead. And this was my spirit lingering about.