"Those excuses of yours, maybe I'd have believed them once. But why is it that with Elaine, every principle you have, every rule, just disappears?"

Russell's brow knotted tighter.

"What's your rush?"

His voice was thick with impatience.

"Just apply again next year. Your record speaks for itself. Tenure isn't going anywhere if you wait one more year!"

The cold spread from my chest out into my limbs.

I knew arguing was useless, and still I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"Then why can't Elaine be the one who applies again next year?"

"You won't let anyone see we're together, but why do you hold her to one standard and me to another? You two can meet in private, act close in front of everyone without a second thought for what our colleagues think—"

Everything I'd swallowed came pouring out at once.

Russell's patience ran dry, and he cut me off, his voice cold.

"He and I have a working relationship. What's the point of comparing yourself to that?"

"Keeping it quiet was something you agreed to a long time ago!"

He always did this, dodging sideways, talking around everything.

I stared into his eyes and couldn't find a trace of regret or guilt in them.

"I agreed because I thought you'd at least be fair."

The ache kept rising in my throat, and I paused.

"But your favoritism toward Elaine is there for everyone to see."

Russell didn't answer. His phone rang, and the moment he picked up, the voice that had been so irritated a second ago went soft.

"Elaine, I already sent that defense framework to your email."

"Anything you don't understand, just ask me anytime."

3.

Elaine's sweet, cooing voice came through the receiver.

"Russell, it's all because I'm so slow, making you worry like this…"

My chest heaved hard, and even my breathing turned rough.

That small sound was all it took to displease him.

"Can you move somewhere else? You can't control your own emotions, and now you have to disturb other people?"

Russell switched masks like a stage performer, and when he spoke again, it was nothing but tenderness and care.

"Elaine, you have real potential."

"With me here, you don't need to worry about the second round."

In that moment, the hold Russell had on my heart began to loosen.

The next day in the cafeteria, I had just set down my breakfast and found a seat.

Then I heard a few teachers I barely knew clear their throats behind me, deliberately raising their voices to embarrass me.

"Tsk, tsk. Always going all out, always shoving her way to the front. Wasn't it all just to make the rest of us look bad? Never thought a university campus would turn into a rat race too."

Another voice couldn't hold back its mockery.

"Cut in the first round. How humiliating."

"She acts all proud and above it all, but I saw right through it. Every time our young dean walks past, her eyes lock onto him and won't move an inch."

"Thinks a pretty face buys her special treatment? Watching her get cut felt so good."

The gossip crawled into my ears, and instead of anger, I saw things clearly.

The favored one always has ground to stand on, while someone like me, hidden away in the dark corner, is left for others to pick apart.

Russell had never once been protecting me.

I bit into my breakfast sandwich. The filling was rich, and yet my tongue couldn't taste a thing.

Elaine set a mug of hot milk in front of me, all smiles.

"Vanessa, the dean says my promotion is pretty much a lock this time."

"Russell says I still have so much to learn from you. You're the senior one here, after all, so I'll be counting on your guidance from now on."

Every other word was Russell, every sentence some little brag about what she'd won.

Elaine knew exactly how low she'd stooped to land that title, and yet she still leaned in close on purpose, twisting the knife in the wound.

My face went cold.

She didn't care. She nudged the milk a little closer to me and, in a voice only the two of us could hear, sneered.

"If you had any sense, you'd walk away from Russell."

"He plays favorites with me right out in the open, and there's not a scrap of the old warmth left for you. Can't you see it? He wants you to take the hint and go. I just didn't think you could stand it this long."

The corner of Elaine's mouth kept curling up.

I clenched my fists. There were still plenty of students around, and I didn't want to make an ugly scene here.

But the next second, Elaine's eyes flicked past me, and then she gave the mug on the table another deliberate shove.

The scalding milk splashed over my wrist, soaking a wide patch across the front of my chest.

The pain seared like fire. I sucked in a sharp breath and shot to my feet.

The skin on my wrist was already red and swelling.

"Elaine!"

I couldn't hold it in anymore. The name tore out of me.

She only looked down at her own fingertips. I was the one who'd been burned, but she choked up as if the wrong had been done to her.

"Vanessa... I know you're angry that I took your spot."

"But you don't have to do this. You'll only end up hurting yourself as much as me..."

My pupils shook. I felt a sharp gaze land on my back.

4.

"Vanessa, haven't you caused enough of a scene!"

Russell's voice. And there he was, tenderly helping Elaine to her feet.

She'd judged the force just right. She'd soaked me, and left only a few faint spots on herself.

The people around us, the ones who'd never liked me, knew exactly how much Elaine weighed in Russell's eyes.

They rushed to speak up for her, hoping to cozy up to Elaine and make themselves seen.

"Someone this jealous, with a heart this dark, how is she fit to be a teacher?"

"Exactly. Elaine kindly brings her a mug of milk, and she can't even tell a kind gesture when she sees one."

"Didn't make the second round herself, so she takes it out on someone else. Disgusting."

"You're colleagues, and she actually raised a hand? Is it really worth it?"

Russell's chest heaved harder and harder.

He glanced at Elaine, fighting back her tears, and his eyes turned cold as a blade.

Russell didn't ask a single word about what had happened. He forced one word out through gritted teeth, roaring.

"Out!"

In front of countless faculty and students, without stopping to sort right from wrong, he left me not the smallest shred of face.

In that instant, all the resentment and the hurt and the anger seemed to be jolted out of my chest at once.

I stared blankly at Russell, without a trace of feeling.

Two seconds later, I calmly turned around.

Only then did I understand that falling out of love with someone takes only a moment.

I went to HR and filed my resignation.