Maddox

I need a freaking doctor.

Something is seriously wrong with my head. Did I hit it or something? Possible brain damage from birth that didn't show up until now? I don't know what is happening to me, but I'm acting weird!

I don't date.

I don't do relationships.

I don't want a WAG, a partner, or any romance in my life.

Most girls are bloodsuckers and only out after your money. I know that, and I stay clear of the other gender.

I should focus on the game, focus on the goddamn football, and not fall for any distractions. And girls are fucking distractions!

Yes, I know this better than anyone.

So why am I as hard as a rock in the shower while thinking about kissing Michelle fucking Henriksson?????!!!!!

Why her?

WHY!

I punch the wall and groan at the pain. "FUCK!!!"

"Will you please keep it down?!" Jason's voice comes from the other side of the wall because, let's face it, we live in misery. Paper-thin walls and no fucking privacy. The frathouse is a goddamn joke and sometimes a running parody.

I groan, and Jason sighs. "Maddox, I've said it once, and I will say it again. Keep it down, will you? I'm trying to focus here."

I punch the wall. "No, I'm going through something!"

"Just wank it out already, amigo!" Jason shouts back. "You've been saying 'Michelle' over and over again, groaning and then not finishing your business. Just rub one out."

This fucking linebacker! I swear I will kill him, fucking kill him!

It doesn't matter that we are best friends—Jason is dead to me!

"Shut up, Deluca!" I growl back at the perverted idiot. "And stop listening through the wall like a creep!"

"I have a stomach ache... I can't leave the toilet even if I wanted to. There is no choice but to listen to your pathetic voice."

"This idiot..." I mutter to myself. "I can't do it now, thanks to you!"

"Why not?"

"Because you're listening!"

"Go into your room and lock the door."

"I will, but not to masturbate!"

"Sure, amigo... And I will not look up Michelle Henriksson's online profile while you're not masturbating."

Jesus fucking Christ!

Why does Jason always have to be so goddamn annoying?! I could murder him and bury his body in the garden!

"DO NOT FUCKING LOOK HER UP!"

"Why, you shy or something, Maddox? Everyone wants to be with our heartbreaker quarterback, but you turn everyone down. I want to know your type, Maddox. Learn what makes you hard in the shower."

Hard in the shower?!

My type?!

"Michelle is not my type!"

"Si, I don't know about that... You have been moaning her name for about forty minutes now, and I'm getting more and more convinced to name my own daughter Michelle..."

"Jason..." I hiss. "I. Will. Murder. You. In. Your. Sleep."

"Empty threats... Empty threats..."

"I'm being serious!"

"Oh, Michelle Henriksson is pretty darn cute... Rosy cheeks, yeah? Very delicate and small too. Ha-ha. You like that, Maddox? Who would have known—the guy actually has taste."

"I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU, DELUCA!"

Jason burst out laughing, and I grunt in annoyance. Some best friend he is—the dude needs to have his head evaluated if he thinks it's okay to listen to me masturbate AND look up my inspiration.

Jesus fucking Christ, I'm even admitting it myself.

There are way hotter girls than Michelle, yet all I see is her doe-eyes, sweet smile, and delicate hands.

Am I out of my damn mind?!

"GAH, I hate myself!"

I kick the wall and wrap myself in a towel. My cock is still painfully hard, and it's because I'm at odds with myself.

I can't finish myself off.

No.

I have to resist it!

It feels wrong to touch myself while thinking about Michelle Henriksson of all freaking people. She doesn't even like me! That little thing is terrified of me, and not even a little! She couldn't sit still when I looked at her!

I angrily enter my room and throw myself down on my bed. My arm hangs down to the floor, and I sigh.

"I shouldn't text her... I know better than that... I do... But..."

I pick up my phone, breathing hard while staring at the screen.

This is so weird...

What am I doing?

I have only texted girls to tell them my address before a hookup. Other than that, I don't text with girls. I don't call them either. Neither do I date, yet I'm already typing a message to Michelle.

I can't believe this...

But I also can't stop myself.

Me: Don't stand me up tomorrow, Henriksson.

I watch the message turn to "seen" and feel like puking when I realize I'm actually smiling. FUCKING SMILING while texting a girl. Seriously, where did my balls go?

Michelle: You inserted your own number into my phone?

Who wouldn't? I can't risk Michelle standing me up again. I had to put in my number there... Not because I like her or anything, but to show male dominance! Yes!

There is no other reason!

Me: Yes.

Michelle: And your earlier words, is that a threat?

A threat?

Is she serious?

Does Michelle honestly think everything I do is to scare other people? Like, sure, I think it's fun, but...

Me: Not a threat.

Michelle: You promise?

Me: Yes. Have a good night, Michelle.

I patiently wait for her response like a total sissy. It's been less than twenty-four hours, and I'm fucking whipped—after one kiss and her feeling up my muscles like I was hot shit.

I rake my fingers through my wet hair. "I'm such a loser..."

My phone vibrates, and my eyes find my screen like a hawk. I've never moved this fast in my entire life.

I unlock my screen and...

Michelle: Good night, Maddox.

My lips curl into this stupid smile, and then I smack myself straight in the face to knock it off.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I whisper with growing panic. "I need to see a therapist or something..."

I'm worried about my health. My heart is fluttering. My pulse is ticking against my jaw. There is a buzzing in my stomach, and I swear that isn't normal. Am I dying?"

Are these the warning signs of a heart attack?

I hope not.

I get underneath the covers and get comfortable. There is a new message from the pixie girl herself.

What could she want?

I click on the message with a weird feeling in my chest. My heart is thumping, which is so freaking weird.

Michelle: Thank you for driving me home today. I appreciate it. The rain came when you left, and I would have been drenched. It was very thoughtful of you.

That familiar flutter travels through me again, yet I accept it.

I might act like a hardass most of the time, but... I knew it was going to rain after checking the weather forecast. That's why I offered to drive the tiny one home.

But I'm not usually thoughtful, and Michelle better not expect me to act like it either...

I quickly type back a message.

Me: You're welcome.

I sigh heavily while tucking my phone underneath my pillow. "What is it with this girl that just makes me do stupid shit... Fuck... She does weird things to my head..."

Another groan leaves my lips. I'm about to have a headache. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I couldn't possibly be falling in love, right? Pfft. I'm Maddox. I'm cold as a rock, and the last thing this could be is the beginning of something.

Romance is for pussies.

Michelle

I hate walking into the classroom every morning. I'm the quiet girl, and when that door opens, I got all eyes on me.

The spotlight makes it harder to breathe. It's making my skin crawl.

My heart beats faster, and even though there isn't straight-up laughter or name-calling like in high school, the silence speaks louder than volumes.

I hate not having any friends.

I hate not having any new clothes.

I hate not being normal.

I hate not being... Happy.

I'm lonely, and it makes me feel vulnerable. Thomas definitely used that to his advantage when he...

When he...

Raped me.

Tears prickle behind my eyes.

I think I'm suffering from PTSD. Sometimes I experience flashes of Thomas's face and how he pushed me against that wall at the party. It makes me want to scream.

But I refuse to cry.

Don't ever look back. I keep my eyes down not to meet any of the sneers in the classroom.

Stay strong.

Breathe.

Sadly, I can't ignore the whispers. The popular girls are already at it, talking about me while throwing me dirty stares.

"Oh, look, it's the ugly duckling."

I'm the ugly duckling.

"Does she ever change her clothes?"

No, I have no money or parents to pay for new ones.

"Aren't her parents like... Alcoholists?"

They are.

"I heard they threw her out."

I left.

"She lives in an apartment together with Ciara and Zendra."

Because I can't pay an entire rent on my own.

"It must be hard for them to live with a weirdo. Michelle rarely speaks, and when she does... It's like a stammer."

I've been stammering ever since the rape happened...

It sucks.

I press my laptop to my chest and try to walk quickly. I sit down in the back of the classroom.

One of the girls pouts my way and whisper, "I actually feel bad for the ugly little duckling, though. She is so weird and awkward that no one wants to be her friend."

Those words hurt, but I try to keep my calm.

"Did you sleep well?"

Shock seeps into my bones.

I lift my eyes to face Maddox. What is he doing here? He pulls out the chair next to mine and sits down with a tired expression.

"I did..." I say in a low voice, unsure why Maddox is sitting with me. We are project partners, but this is our history class—not the communication for which the presentation is required.

"Good for you..." Maddox cracks his shoulders. "I slept like shit."

I glance at Maddox and... What the hell? Those mean girls from earlier? They are staring at us.

I almost blurt out laughing.

Are those girls jealous of me or something? I hope they are. Wait. Am I terrible for wishing that?

Probably.

But it's just that they were so mean to me, and revenge is sweet.

Maddox breathes a laugh. "Ah, great, you're having those conversations with yourself inside your head again."

I look at him, and he sighs. "Anyway, you're cool with taking notes for me today, right?"

Wait.

What?

I widen my eyes when Maddox tries to give me what must be his attempt at a charming smile, but he looks more like a grinning lion.

Or a hyena...

I repress the urge to roll my eyes. "So that's why you're sitting with me..."

"Yeah? What other reason would I have?" Maddox questions and crosses his arms over the table to rest on them. "I woke up at five to run to the gym, and then I worked out until every limb screamed... My arms are so fucking sore from lifting."

"N-not my problem..."

He narrows his eyes. "Did you... Did you just give me attitude?"

My heart is pounding, yet I manage a shrug. "You're angry at me when you're the one who is using me..."

He blinks but quickly recovers. "Well, you're a nerd, aren't you? I bet you have top grades in every freaking subject."

"Yes... I-I do have top grades..." I blush because, for some reason, I'm embarrassed about Maddox pushing forward that I'm a nerd. It's true that I only think of school.

But can anyone blame me for working hard? College is everything to me; it will help me build a brighter future since most of my life has been dark.

"See?" Maddox yawns. "Your written notes will be way better than mine. Send them to me after our class is over."

"W-why do I feel like I've just become your servant?"

Maddox's eyes are closed, but his lips form a smile. "Thanks, Michelle."

My heart stops, then speeds up again. I should fear Maddox. He is a jerk, and he is massive—a dangerous combination.

Yet I experience flutters seeing that smile.

What is wrong with me?

"I'm going to take a nap," Maddox mumbles. "Poke me if the teacher comes over to our table..."

"Uhh..." I wet my lips and whisper-yell. "You would bite my head off if I tried to wake you."

"I don't bite."

The teacher is inside the classroom now. He is talking loudly into his microphone about something that seems important, yet I whisper-yell again.

"That's a lie, and you know it."

One of Maddox's eyes cracks open. "Are you going to shut up at some point? I need my beauty sleep."

"See, my point has been made! You're an asshole..."

Wow.

Did I just show Maddox some more of my attitude again?

Jesus Christ, my heart is pounding. It might seem like a tiny thing for anyone else, but holy shit—I'm a rebel!

His eyes narrow, and his expression is bewildered. "Did you just call me an asshole without peeing in your pants?"

Oh, shit!

Is he angry at me?

I return to my screen since I better not continue this conversation with Maddox if I wish to live.

My heart is pounding too fast already; I don't need more reasons for it to thump.

But...

Oh-my-god!

I can't believe I showed Maddox sass!

"Hey, I've been thinking about something," Maddox suddenly says. "You should go to my games."

I peer down at him. "Why?"

"Because you're supposed to be my fake girlfriend? You have to act the part convincingly. If I had a girlfriend, she would definitely be at my games and wear my jersey. Oh, and with a big smile on her lips!"

I blush. "Uh, I'm pretty sure your jersey wouldn't fit me."

"That's the point," Maddox mutters. "It's supposed to look cute."

"Why do you need a fake girlfriend again?"

"Mostly because my parents won't shut up about me having to find a woman and get married and yada-yada, but also so most gold diggers keep away from me..."

"Your parents wish for you to get married already?"

He shrugs. "It's important to my parents, I guess... They have been trying to make me marry a girl named Vanya."

"But you're not interested?"

"Nope, but... My parents value love over marriage, so if I can convince them that we love each other, they will get off my back. And you want to eat real food, right?"

I sigh heavily, with my cheeks burning. "I kind of do... I don't exactly have a lot of money... Sorry for being a food digger..."

Maddox grins like a hyena again. "No problem. It's actually great. The deal is still on because we both can gain from this, but we must practice doing couple-stuff."

"Okay. Like what?"

"Fuck if I know! Pottery and pumpkin carving and other stupid shit girls love? Dates and oh! You should sit in my lap in the library later. That way, the rumor will spread that we are dating."

I stare at him with my heart racing.

The thought of sitting in Maddox's lap and going out on dates with him... Is it wrong that it kind of sounds a little bit exciting?

I have no friends, so maybe I could gain something else from this that is more than just free food.

"I-I can do the lap thing..."

"You're stammering again."

Because I'm nervous.

"Sorry..."

"And stop apologizing all the time," Maddox sighs and averts his eyes while scratching the back of his head. "We also need to be kissing each other more often."

Kissing?

I gulp. "Okay..."

"Like a lot."

Can I do that?

The last time we kissed... I'm not sure if it's normal, but I felt sparks, and I'm not sure if that is a good sign. But let's be realistic here; I couldn't possibly fall for this asshole.

Then again...

I look at Maddox, and my insides turn to mush. That reaction tells me that I need to be careful with him.

He is attractive, and I could develop a crush on him if I don't keep my guard up.

"Lots of k-kissing," I nod at him. "Got it."

Kissing Maddox and entering a fake relationship with him—what could possibly go wrong?