Michelle

"Do you live over there?" Maddox nods at a house up the street, his big hands holding the wheel in a death grip.

"Yes, but you don't have to drive the entire way..." I nervously laugh and face his stern expression.

"Why not?"

"Um... Because my roommates would freak out if they saw you."

He arches an eyebrow. "Fans of mine?"

"Fans?" What is he even talking about?

"Yeah, I'm pretty known around campus."

"Y-you are?"

"Yes."

That's some arrogance right there.

I swallow. "Well, that's not the reason."

"What is it then?"

"Uh…" I blush. "Nevermind."

He sighs. "Out with it, Michelle."

"Okay..." I shut my eyes. "I've never brought home a guy before, and they… My roommates… They are going to—"

I can't say it.

My heart is pounding too fast, and I'm embarrassed. Ciara and Zendra have told me I'm hopeless when it comes to guys, and bringing Maddox to the front of our door is probably...

Well.

A bad idea.

They will ridicule me and ask me if I have a crush on Maddox. I can feel the incoming bullying in my gut already. Zendra will probably say that working on this group project with Maddox is the closest I will ever get to dating a handsome guy.

They are probably right.

Guys aren't exactly lining up the street to date me.

Ciara and Zendra, however, are both beautiful and popular. They date guys hotter than hell while I'm this short, pimple-faced introvert who is too scared of men to make a movie. Like, I don't want to die alone, but...

I'm not pretty.

And my roommates make sure to remind me of that every single day.

"I'm coming inside."

I look up. "What?"

"You heard me."

Maddox has already parked the car, and before I can intervene, he opens the car door. He takes my bag, and I hastily follow him.

What is he doing?

"Uh..." As Maddox strides toward the porch, I'm jogging to keep up with him. He has very long legs. "You don't have to come inside... You can just leave now..."

Maddox peers down at me but doesn't say anything. Not one to listen, he opens the door and enters our hallway.

The door closes.

I hear footsteps.

Before I know it, Ciara swans into the hallway.

I have a bad feeling about this.

She stops by the wall, leaning her back against it with a dramatic gasp.

"Oh my, oh my," she presses a hand to her chest. Raking Maddox up and down before sending an evil smile my way. "Are you dating Maddox Daniels now, Michelle?"

I want to sink through the floor.

Ciara knows damn well I haven't dated anyone yet. She said those words as if I had choices. How humiliating. She is smirking now, knowing I'm embarrassed. She is basking in it, smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

Why does she have to be here?

Ciara will make Maddox think I'm even more of a nerd...

Tears are prickling behind my eyelids already.

The situation worsens when Zendra joins in on the fun with her mouth falling open the second her eyes land on Maddox.

"Well, hello there..." Zendra's heated gaze rakes up Maddox. "I didn't know our roomie was friends with Dashing Devils quarterback. How do you two know each other?"

Quarterback?

Oh-my-god, as if I weren't already uncomfortable! Of course, Maddox Daniels is a goddamn quarterback!

I lift my eyes, expecting Maddox to smirk, but to my surprise, Maddox is smiling. Something tells me it's a fake one, though.

"Michelle and I are best friends... In fact—"

My world screeches to a halt when Maddox picks me up.

What. The. Fuck.

The guy is seriously strong!

I've never been carried by a guy before, yet my legs instinctively wrap around his tapered waist. His cologne wafts over me, and my heart pounds frantically when he presses his lips to mine.

Holy shit.

HOLY SHIT!

Maddox Daniels is kissing me!!!

And not a little peck on the lips. No, Maddox forces my lips apart with his tongue and full-on kisses away my last remaining brain cells.

Oh-my-god...

Maddox is talented. The kiss is hot and passionate. The taste of his tongue makes little goosebumps prickle over my skin. I said I couldn't stand the guy, but wow.

I'm melting in his arms.

Electricity and sparks fly between us, and I'm close to begging him not to let go when he pulls away his lips.

My heart is racing.

I'm out of breath.

I stare at him.

He stares at me, looking... Surprised?

Or is that my imagination?

Wait, is that a blush?

We keep blinking at each other like idiots. My hands are resting on his muscular shoulders while his arms are wrapped around me. Yet none of us are making a move to create distance between us.

I'm not climbing down from his embrace.

He is not putting me down.

I stay in his arms.

Eventually, Zendra clears her throat and pulls Ciara into the kitchen. I catch a glimpse of their faces before they leave—they are both gaping like goldfish.

Once inside the kitchen, I hear Ciara whisper-yelling. "Holy-fucking-shit, Michelle is dating the hottest guy on campus! How the flipping fuck did she manage that?!"

"I know!" Zendra whisper-yells back. "She is so damn lucky!"

I swallow at their words, daring to glimpse at Maddox.

He is still repeatedly blinking at me as if trying to process what is happening. Which makes little sense seeing he was the one who kissed me, not the other way around!

What is going on inside that thick, beautiful head?!

I gaze into his eyes.

He gazes into mine.

After a few seconds, he opens his mouth. "Where is your room?"

Why isn't he putting me down?

"Um..." I wet my lips. They still feel swollen from the kiss. "It's the last one down the hall to the left. It's a door with stickers on it."

"Got it."

He carries me down the corridor without a word. My arms are still hugging the thick column of his neck. I'm weak in the legs, and Maddox uses his elbow to open the door.

Soon I'm dropped off on my bed.

I lift my chin to stare at Maddox, baffled when he closes the door.

I expected him to leave... But those blue-blue eyes are scanning my almost-empty room.

Yeah, I'm broke.

I let him take everything in before daring to talk. "W-why did you kiss me out there?"

He lifts an eyebrow. "Aren't you single?"

My skin burns, and I shyly brush my brown hair down my shoulder. "That's not the point..."

He shrugs. "I saw a perfect opportunity."

Opportunity?

What?

Did he just use me?!

"What opportunity?" I demand, suddenly no longer shy but fuming over his caveman tendencies.

I might not be yelling, but my heart is thundering inside my chest. And my anger is traveling through my veins.

"I don't date, but... I think I could benefit from you being my fake girlfriend, Michelle. Gold diggers would stay clear of me. It would be nice."

Laughter erupts from me. "No, those girls would try harder to flirt with you! Girls would… They would look at me and see there is no competition!"

He laughs at me and hands me a wolfish grin. "True... They would look at you, see that you're as flat as a plank, and try to get me."

Anger heats my face. "That's rude!"

"But entirely true, isn't it?"

I blush and avert my eyes. "You're such a jockhole."

"Jockhole?" He snorts. "Maybe, but do you want to go along with this plan? I mean, looking around your room... You don't have much stuff, and my wallet is fat."

"Really? You're trying to buy me?"

"I could buy you lunch every day."

My stomach gurgles and Maddox bursts out laughing. It lights up his face, and I experience butterflies. Why? He is such a jerk.

"Why would you need a fake girlfriend?"

"Mostly because of my parents," Maddox replies while studying my empty walls without even looking at me. "But also because I think some girls at school would stay away..."

So he doesn't want girls asking him out?

Why?

Ugh, I bet he is one of those sleep-with-them-and-leave-them guys.

"I see..."

"So... Do we have a deal?"

"Well..." I palm my neck and consider his offer. "It would be nice to... Have a decent meal every day."

"Yeah?"

"But I don't know..."

"Come on," Maddox urges. "It will be easy food for you... And it's not like kissing me; maybe hugging me is dangerous. You didn't feel anything when we did it, did you?"

I stare at him—he stares back. And while I would like to believe there is no meaning behind his question, I can't help but feel like he is ACTUALLY wondering if I felt something.

Which I didn't...

He is good-looking. That's the only reason I felt some flutters when he kissed me, not because we have chemistry. God no! I'm not crazy enough to think we do. Jockholes and quiet book nerds don't get along.

Maddox and Michelle are like snow and salt.

"O-of course not!" I laugh. It sounds forced, even to me, and I hope Maddox doesn't notice.

But to my surprise, he is laughing too.

"Yeah, I thought so! There was absolutely no chemistry at all! No lightning, sparks, or wanting to rip off your clothes, and... Yeah... It was just an emotionless kiss."

Instead of feeling angry, I'm relieved. Maddox would never go out with me—at least I can stop fantasizing about that now.

"Entirely emotionless indeed."

We smile at each other awkwardly, but the staring soon becomes heated.

My chest constricts.

I wet my lips.

My heart pounds faster.

I silently study the column of Maddox's neck and let my gaze travel to his muscular arms hiding underneath his hoodie. He is so strong. Powerful.

Maddox stares at my lips, then down at my chest and hips. He runs his tongue over his lips and—

That's when I clap my hands!

"You should probably go!"

Maddox returns to reality. "Right..." he moves for the door but turns around to meet my eyes again. There is a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Same time tomorrow at the library. Do not stand me up, okay?"

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Maddox

I need a freaking doctor.

Something is seriously wrong with my head. Did I hit it or something? Possible brain damage from birth that didn't show up until now? I don't know what is happening to me, but I'm acting weird!

I don't date.

I don't do relationships.

I don't want a WAG, a partner, or any romance in my life.

Most girls are bloodsuckers and only out after your money. I know that, and I stay clear of the other gender.

I should focus on the game, focus on the goddamn football, and not fall for any distractions. And girls are fucking distractions!

Yes, I know this better than anyone.

So why am I as hard as a rock in the shower while thinking about kissing Michelle fucking Henriksson?????!!!!!

Why her?

WHY!

I punch the wall and groan at the pain. "FUCK!!!"

"Will you please keep it down?!" Jason's voice comes from the other side of the wall because, let's face it, we live in misery. Paper-thin walls and no fucking privacy. The frathouse is a goddamn joke and sometimes a running parody.

I groan, and Jason sighs. "Maddox, I've said it once, and I will say it again. Keep it down, will you? I'm trying to focus here."

I punch the wall. "No, I'm going through something!"

"Just wank it out already, amigo!" Jason shouts back. "You've been saying 'Michelle' over and over again, groaning and then not finishing your business. Just rub one out."

This fucking linebacker! I swear I will kill him, fucking kill him!

It doesn't matter that we are best friends—Jason is dead to me!

"Shut up, Deluca!" I growl back at the perverted idiot. "And stop listening through the wall like a creep!"

"I have a stomach ache... I can't leave the toilet even if I wanted to. There is no choice but to listen to your pathetic voice."

"This idiot..." I mutter to myself. "I can't do it now, thanks to you!"

"Why not?"

"Because you're listening!"

"Go into your room and lock the door."

"I will, but not to masturbate!"

"Sure, amigo... And I will not look up Michelle Henriksson's online profile while you're not masturbating."

Jesus fucking Christ!

Why does Jason always have to be so goddamn annoying?! I could murder him and bury his body in the garden!

"DO NOT FUCKING LOOK HER UP!"

"Why, you shy or something, Maddox? Everyone wants to be with our heartbreaker quarterback, but you turn everyone down. I want to know your type, Maddox. Learn what makes you hard in the shower."

Hard in the shower?!

My type?!

"Michelle is not my type!"

"Si, I don't know about that... You have been moaning her name for about forty minutes now, and I'm getting more and more convinced to name my own daughter Michelle..."

"Jason..." I hiss. "I. Will. Murder. You. In. Your. Sleep."

"Empty threats... Empty threats..."

"I'm being serious!"

"Oh, Michelle Henriksson is pretty darn cute... Rosy cheeks, yeah? Very delicate and small too. Ha-ha. You like that, Maddox? Who would have known—the guy actually has taste."

"I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU, DELUCA!"

Jason burst out laughing, and I grunt in annoyance. Some best friend he is—the dude needs to have his head evaluated if he thinks it's okay to listen to me masturbate AND look up my inspiration.

Jesus fucking Christ, I'm even admitting it myself.

There are way hotter girls than Michelle, yet all I see is her doe-eyes, sweet smile, and delicate hands.

Am I out of my damn mind?!

"GAH, I hate myself!"

I kick the wall and wrap myself in a towel. My cock is still painfully hard, and it's because I'm at odds with myself.

I can't finish myself off.

No.

I have to resist it!

It feels wrong to touch myself while thinking about Michelle Henriksson of all freaking people. She doesn't even like me! That little thing is terrified of me, and not even a little! She couldn't sit still when I looked at her!

I angrily enter my room and throw myself down on my bed. My arm hangs down to the floor, and I sigh.

"I shouldn't text her... I know better than that... I do... But..."

I pick up my phone, breathing hard while staring at the screen.

This is so weird...

What am I doing?

I have only texted girls to tell them my address before a hookup. Other than that, I don't text with girls. I don't call them either. Neither do I date, yet I'm already typing a message to Michelle.

I can't believe this...

But I also can't stop myself.

Me: Don't stand me up tomorrow, Henriksson.

I watch the message turn to "seen" and feel like puking when I realize I'm actually smiling. FUCKING SMILING while texting a girl. Seriously, where did my balls go?

Michelle: You inserted your own number into my phone?

Who wouldn't? I can't risk Michelle standing me up again. I had to put in my number there... Not because I like her or anything, but to show male dominance! Yes!

There is no other reason!

Me: Yes.

Michelle: And your earlier words, is that a threat?

A threat?

Is she serious?

Does Michelle honestly think everything I do is to scare other people? Like, sure, I think it's fun, but...

Me: Not a threat.

Michelle: You promise?

Me: Yes. Have a good night, Michelle.

I patiently wait for her response like a total sissy. It's been less than twenty-four hours, and I'm fucking whipped—after one kiss and her feeling up my muscles like I was hot shit.

I rake my fingers through my wet hair. "I'm such a loser..."

My phone vibrates, and my eyes find my screen like a hawk. I've never moved this fast in my entire life.

I unlock my screen and...

Michelle: Good night, Maddox.

My lips curl into this stupid smile, and then I smack myself straight in the face to knock it off.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I whisper with growing panic. "I need to see a therapist or something..."

I'm worried about my health. My heart is fluttering. My pulse is ticking against my jaw. There is a buzzing in my stomach, and I swear that isn't normal. Am I dying?"

Are these the warning signs of a heart attack?

I hope not.

I get underneath the covers and get comfortable. There is a new message from the pixie girl herself.

What could she want?

I click on the message with a weird feeling in my chest. My heart is thumping, which is so freaking weird.

Michelle: Thank you for driving me home today. I appreciate it. The rain came when you left, and I would have been drenched. It was very thoughtful of you.

That familiar flutter travels through me again, yet I accept it.

I might act like a hardass most of the time, but... I knew it was going to rain after checking the weather forecast. That's why I offered to drive the tiny one home.

But I'm not usually thoughtful, and Michelle better not expect me to act like it either...

I quickly type back a message.

Me: You're welcome.

I sigh heavily while tucking my phone underneath my pillow. "What is it with this girl that just makes me do stupid shit... Fuck... She does weird things to my head..."

Another groan leaves my lips. I'm about to have a headache. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I couldn't possibly be falling in love, right? Pfft. I'm Maddox. I'm cold as a rock, and the last thing this could be is the beginning of something.

Romance is for pussies.

Michelle

I hate walking into the classroom every morning. I'm the quiet girl, and when that door opens, I got all eyes on me.

The spotlight makes it harder to breathe. It's making my skin crawl.

My heart beats faster, and even though there isn't straight-up laughter or name-calling like in high school, the silence speaks louder than volumes.

I hate not having any friends.

I hate not having any new clothes.

I hate not being normal.

I hate not being... Happy.

I'm lonely, and it makes me feel vulnerable. Thomas definitely used that to his advantage when he...

When he...

Raped me.

Tears prickle behind my eyes.

I think I'm suffering from PTSD. Sometimes I experience flashes of Thomas's face and how he pushed me against that wall at the party. It makes me want to scream.

But I refuse to cry.

Don't ever look back. I keep my eyes down not to meet any of the sneers in the classroom.

Stay strong.

Breathe.

Sadly, I can't ignore the whispers. The popular girls are already at it, talking about me while throwing me dirty stares.

"Oh, look, it's the ugly duckling."

I'm the ugly duckling.

"Does she ever change her clothes?"

No, I have no money or parents to pay for new ones.

"Aren't her parents like... Alcoholists?"

They are.

"I heard they threw her out."

I left.

"She lives in an apartment together with Ciara and Zendra."

Because I can't pay an entire rent on my own.

"It must be hard for them to live with a weirdo. Michelle rarely speaks, and when she does... It's like a stammer."

I've been stammering ever since the rape happened...

It sucks.

I press my laptop to my chest and try to walk quickly. I sit down in the back of the classroom.

One of the girls pouts my way and whisper, "I actually feel bad for the ugly little duckling, though. She is so weird and awkward that no one wants to be her friend."

Those words hurt, but I try to keep my calm.

"Did you sleep well?"

Shock seeps into my bones.

I lift my eyes to face Maddox. What is he doing here? He pulls out the chair next to mine and sits down with a tired expression.

"I did..." I say in a low voice, unsure why Maddox is sitting with me. We are project partners, but this is our history class—not the communication for which the presentation is required.

"Good for you..." Maddox cracks his shoulders. "I slept like shit."

I glance at Maddox and... What the hell? Those mean girls from earlier? They are staring at us.

I almost blurt out laughing.

Are those girls jealous of me or something? I hope they are. Wait. Am I terrible for wishing that?

Probably.

But it's just that they were so mean to me, and revenge is sweet.

Maddox breathes a laugh. "Ah, great, you're having those conversations with yourself inside your head again."

I look at him, and he sighs. "Anyway, you're cool with taking notes for me today, right?"

Wait.

What?

I widen my eyes when Maddox tries to give me what must be his attempt at a charming smile, but he looks more like a grinning lion.

Or a hyena...

I repress the urge to roll my eyes. "So that's why you're sitting with me..."

"Yeah? What other reason would I have?" Maddox questions and crosses his arms over the table to rest on them. "I woke up at five to run to the gym, and then I worked out until every limb screamed... My arms are so fucking sore from lifting."

"N-not my problem..."

He narrows his eyes. "Did you... Did you just give me attitude?"

My heart is pounding, yet I manage a shrug. "You're angry at me when you're the one who is using me..."

He blinks but quickly recovers. "Well, you're a nerd, aren't you? I bet you have top grades in every freaking subject."

"Yes... I-I do have top grades..." I blush because, for some reason, I'm embarrassed about Maddox pushing forward that I'm a nerd. It's true that I only think of school.

But can anyone blame me for working hard? College is everything to me; it will help me build a brighter future since most of my life has been dark.

"See?" Maddox yawns. "Your written notes will be way better than mine. Send them to me after our class is over."

"W-why do I feel like I've just become your servant?"

Maddox's eyes are closed, but his lips form a smile. "Thanks, Michelle."

My heart stops, then speeds up again. I should fear Maddox. He is a jerk, and he is massive—a dangerous combination.

Yet I experience flutters seeing that smile.

What is wrong with me?

"I'm going to take a nap," Maddox mumbles. "Poke me if the teacher comes over to our table..."

"Uhh..." I wet my lips and whisper-yell. "You would bite my head off if I tried to wake you."

"I don't bite."

The teacher is inside the classroom now. He is talking loudly into his microphone about something that seems important, yet I whisper-yell again.

"That's a lie, and you know it."

One of Maddox's eyes cracks open. "Are you going to shut up at some point? I need my beauty sleep."

"See, my point has been made! You're an asshole..."

Wow.

Did I just show Maddox some more of my attitude again?

Jesus Christ, my heart is pounding. It might seem like a tiny thing for anyone else, but holy shit—I'm a rebel!

His eyes narrow, and his expression is bewildered. "Did you just call me an asshole without peeing in your pants?"

Oh, shit!

Is he angry at me?

I return to my screen since I better not continue this conversation with Maddox if I wish to live.

My heart is pounding too fast already; I don't need more reasons for it to thump.

But...

Oh-my-god!

I can't believe I showed Maddox sass!

"Hey, I've been thinking about something," Maddox suddenly says. "You should go to my games."

I peer down at him. "Why?"

"Because you're supposed to be my fake girlfriend? You have to act the part convincingly. If I had a girlfriend, she would definitely be at my games and wear my jersey. Oh, and with a big smile on her lips!"

I blush. "Uh, I'm pretty sure your jersey wouldn't fit me."

"That's the point," Maddox mutters. "It's supposed to look cute."

"Why do you need a fake girlfriend again?"

"Mostly because my parents won't shut up about me having to find a woman and get married and yada-yada, but also so most gold diggers keep away from me..."

"Your parents wish for you to get married already?"

He shrugs. "It's important to my parents, I guess... They have been trying to make me marry a girl named Vanya."

"But you're not interested?"

"Nope, but... My parents value love over marriage, so if I can convince them that we love each other, they will get off my back. And you want to eat real food, right?"

I sigh heavily, with my cheeks burning. "I kind of do... I don't exactly have a lot of money... Sorry for being a food digger..."

Maddox grins like a hyena again. "No problem. It's actually great. The deal is still on because we both can gain from this, but we must practice doing couple-stuff."

"Okay. Like what?"

"Fuck if I know! Pottery and pumpkin carving and other stupid shit girls love? Dates and oh! You should sit in my lap in the library later. That way, the rumor will spread that we are dating."

I stare at him with my heart racing.

The thought of sitting in Maddox's lap and going out on dates with him... Is it wrong that it kind of sounds a little bit exciting?

I have no friends, so maybe I could gain something else from this that is more than just free food.

"I-I can do the lap thing..."

"You're stammering again."

Because I'm nervous.

"Sorry..."

"And stop apologizing all the time," Maddox sighs and averts his eyes while scratching the back of his head. "We also need to be kissing each other more often."

Kissing?

I gulp. "Okay..."

"Like a lot."

Can I do that?

The last time we kissed... I'm not sure if it's normal, but I felt sparks, and I'm not sure if that is a good sign. But let's be realistic here; I couldn't possibly fall for this asshole.

Then again...

I look at Maddox, and my insides turn to mush. That reaction tells me that I need to be careful with him.

He is attractive, and I could develop a crush on him if I don't keep my guard up.

"Lots of k-kissing," I nod at him. "Got it."

Kissing Maddox and entering a fake relationship with him—what could possibly go wrong?